I have been working at a local Chinese takeout for the past year. If we had a manager, I would be a manager, but our chain of command is: boss man, then top cashier, and then cashiers, drivers, and cooks. This means I’m regularly tasked with things a manager would handle, such as training, supply orders such as utensils and sauces, and most notably, handling all refunds.

It’s a pretty slow evening on my 5:00 to 11:30 pm shift when a customer calls to place a delivery order. All is going well until I inform him of our standard delivery time: forty-five minutes to an hour. Well, he will not have this!

Customer: “Cancel my order! Too long!”

Me: “Sure thing! Just to clarify, since you had us charge you for your delivery ahead of time, it will be a couple of business days before it actually reflects on your account.”

This is where all h*** breaks loose.

The customer does not simply demand his money back.

Customer: *Screaming* “I will be down immediately, and you will be handing me money from the register.”

He hangs up as I mentally prepare for his assumed arrival.

He arrives fifteen to thirty minutes after our “friendly chat” and is still just as “friendly”! He again demands his money, so I attempt one last time to explain that his money is indeed on its way to his account, but to no avail.

In earshot of all our waiting customers, the customer dials 911.

Customer: “I’d like to report a theft at [Restaurant].”

Of course, the cops speed over — we sit very close to the local police station — and the customer gets to them first, so I let them chat. A cop then comes to me, explaining that he knows the issue now and doesn’t need further assistance! I see him go over to the customer once more, some words are exchanged, and out the door the customer goes, no register money in tow, thankfully.

Not too dramatic of an ending, but the kicker? The cop comes back to me one last time.

Cop: “You wouldn’t believe how many grown adults don’t understand how refunds work.”

Actually, Officer, I BELIEVE YOU!

That customer has yet to be seen or heard from again, and this was approximately six months ago. Victory!

I work night audit at an extended stay hotel. It’s the Fourth of July weekend, we’re sold out, all my arrivals are checked in, and life is good. My coworker and I have been looking for her lost item, and she has left to go to the gas station. We’re still doing grab-and-goes for our breakfast, so I’m be-bopping in the kitchen at 2:00 am, checking the desk every two to three minutes. Suddenly, I hear a banging noise. I go to investigate, and lo and behold, someone’s knocking hard on our glass doors. I hurry and open the doors to save the poor glass from being rattled again and a woman struts in.

Woman: “I’ve been standing there at the door knocking for twenty minutes!”

I’m taken aback — my coworker has only been gone for about seven minutes — but I just give her a smile and apologise.

Me: “Ah, I’m sorry that you had to wait. I was in the back making—”

Woman: “I know you were sleeping in the back. I’m going to report you to your manager.”

I just blink at her in shock, and she takes that as an invitation to keep going.

Woman: “I work for [Hotel Chain], and I know you were sleeping in the back. I’m going to let them know that their night auditor was in the back sleeping.”

She is beginning to sound like a broken record at this point.

I, thankfully, have yet to fall asleep at this job, having worked here nearly a year.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I was making breakfast boxes in the back.”

Woman: “No, you weren’t. You were asleep.”

I’m more than a little frustrated. Not only is she being absolutely rude, but to insinuate that I’m a liar? That doesn’t fly well with me.

Woman: “Do you have any rooms?”

Me: “No, I’m all sold out, unfortunately.”

I reply apologetically, albeit a bit short. She rolls her eyes and rambles on again about how she’s going to report me and how she was standing there for twenty minutes knocking.

Me: “Ma’am, I checked the desk three minutes ago.”

Woman: “No, you didn’t. I was knocking for twenty minutes.”

Me: “Did you ring the buzzer?”

Our buzzer is super loud and can be heard everywhere on the first floor. She stammers for a second.

Woman: “I— Yes. I did.”

At this point, she’s making her way toward the door, and she proceeds to ask my name so she can report me.

Me: *With a huge smile* “Sure! It’s [My Name].”

She finally left. My coworker came back a minute later. After I told her about the woman and described her, my coworker told me that someone matching that description had been fighting with someone when she arrived at the convenience store.

This story is part of our Fourth-Of-July-themed roundup!

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Want to read the Fourth-Of-July-themed roundup? Click here!

A loyalty rewards member calls our hotel for a room at 9:00 pm. He gets the last room available, which is a handicapped-accessible room. He shows up during my shift, which is audit (overnight), to check in.

Me: “Just to let you know, your room is handicapped accessible. That only means that the tub has grab bars and the doorways are wider.”

He has a fit.

Me: “Yes, I do apologize, but I wanted to make you aware that the room is handicapped accessible, and it’s the only room we have available as we are sold out.”

Guest: “What?! What do you mean? Aww, my wife hates those. Can you move me to another room?”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we are sold out and have no other rooms available.”

Guest: “Can I go look at the room first?”

At this point, I already have him checked in, so I don’t care what he does.

Me: “Sure, just know that that’s the only room we have in our inventory, so what you see is what you get.”

The guest goes to check the room and comes back.

Guest: “My wife really doesn’t want to be in a handicapped room. I’m a [Loyalty Rewards Program] member. Can I get an upgrade to something else?”

Me: “Thank you for your loyalty to the brand, but as I said before, THERE ARE NO. ROOMS. AVAILABLE. TONIGHT.”

Guest: “Okay. My wife said she guesses that’s okay; she’s just tired and wants to sleep.”

I just smiled until my soul leaked from my eyeballs.

WHAT DO PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT “NO ROOMS AVAILABLE”? Do they think I’m hiding rooms?

I had a customer with one of those electrical outlets the have that dim glow from a built-in LED.

Customer: “I bought this a while ago, but the light has gone out. I want a new bulb to replace it.”

Me: “The outlet still works, so you can still use it normally.”

Customer: “I don’t want to use it without a working light.”

Me: “They don’t make new lights for these outlets because they’re built-in. You’ll have to buy a new outlet.”

I take her down and show her the options. She then says something that kind of flabbergasts me.

Customer: “And the lights in these are guaranteed to work forever, right?”

Me: “No, they will burn out eventually.”

Customer: “Well, I want something that lasts forever.”

Me: “That’s not possible.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Everything goes through wear and tear. The lights in the outlets are no exception. You could get months out of these lights, or quite a few years. But eventually, they will give out, and the light will burn out.”

She wasn’t too thrilled by my answer and reluctantly took a new outlet. I just laughed after she left. Anyone knows all things wear out and give out eventually. It’s not a question of if, it’s always when.

Most hotels (mine included) require payment or at least an authorization for payment via credit card BEFORE you stay. If you extend your stay, the credit card needs to be reauthorized for the additional days.

I’m sure all of you are following so far, nodding your heads, and thinking, “Yes, of course, that’s how it works.”

We’ve had this guy stay with us over the last six months or so, and we’ve had almost a dozen issues with him paying on time, and then issues with him disputing charges, as well. He also thinks that checkout time doesn’t apply to him and that we will simply keep his room until he tells us he’s checking out, but then if he checks out after checkout time — say, 4:00 pm — he thinks that he doesn’t deserve to get charged. Basically, he thinks he runs the place because his employer is paying for his stays and he’s a Shiny Member because of it.

Yesterday, this guest just TOLD us that he wouldn’t know “until after 1:00” if he was staying or not. Checkout time is at 12:00. I don’t work during the day, so I don’t know how that panned out. I DID hear from a coworker that our general called the guest on his cell about payment or something, and he told her, “This phone is only for friends after [time],” and hung up on her. Which, in my book, means that person is evicted right there. I guess she called his room and they talked, but I don’t know all that was said.

I get here at 11:00, and his card is declined for tonight’s stay. I lock out the room. He arrives at about 12:00 looking for a new key to his room.

Me: *Politely* “I need payment before you get the room. You only paid for one night; we need payment for the second night.”

I show him the receipt for the one night, and I even turn my monitor to him so that he can see that his card is declined, because he keeps insisting “the room is paid for”.

He goes back and forth between being angry, trying to tell me to “do him a solid” and just give him the room without payment, saying what a great relationship he and I have had over the last six months, saying, “We ain’t friends,” and swearing, going out to the parking lot, coming back in, and starting over again. Finally, he says he just wants to grab his stuff and go.

Me: “Okay, fine. I will go with you to the room so you can get your stuff and leave. Do you need a cart?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Then, he just starts taking off to the room with his girl trailing behind him. By the way, the girlfriend totally understands what I was saying to the guy and knows I am right, and she clearly also knows he has no money, despite his bragging about how much money he has, how “this is beneath me,” and what a big shot he apparently is.

Since he didn’t listen when I said that we need to go up together, I’ve had it, and I’m not going to risk letting him into the room and him just closing the door on me because he’s acting shady. I call dispatch, have them send a unit to help with an eviction, and wait.

He comes back down.

Me: “Have a seat. Police will be here soon to help you get your stuff out of the room.”

Guest: “Wait, no! I have money on this other card!”

Me: “Nope. We are past that. I’m done arguing and dealing with you. I gave you every opportunity to pay, and you kept arguing. You are not staying tonight, and you will not be renting from us in the future.”

After a few more choice words from him, he decided to wait outside.

The police unit rolled up. I told them the situation and then hung back so I wouldn’t say something to escalate the situation. They went up with him, and he complained the whole way. It took a long time for them to get him out — and he only had, like, a backpack and a grocery bag full of stuff. So, who knows what was said, but I’m guessing he was trying to figure out some way to stay, or maybe he wanted to retrieve something he was not supposed to have that he’d hidden in the room but couldn’t just grab because the police were over his shoulder.

So, now he’s been trespassed and hopefully won’t be back again.