A few years ago, I worked at a casual restaurant that offered two different menus: one for breakfast and one for lunch and dinner. I am being entirely honest when I say that I despise this from the very bottom of my heart. It’s bad enough that people come in wanting X cuisine when you only offer Y; it’s even worse when you DO offer X cuisine, but they’re two hours late and determined to make it your problem.
When I first started working at this restaurant, my job was primarily taking to-go orders until I learned the two menus and understood how the restaurant operated.
It was one such morning, at around 11:30, when an elderly man walked in and asked for an omelet off our breakfast menu.
Me: “I’m sorry. We stop serving breakfast at 10:00.”
This, he felt, was unacceptable, and he started berating me.
Customer: “It’s not even noon yet. You clearly don’t know what you’re doing if you think I can’t have an omelet in the morning time.”
I was not interested in arguing, so to placate him, I went to ask the kitchen whether they were still willing to make an omelet for this old man. Obviously, they refused, because breakfast had ended over an hour and a half ago, but my manager was there. In [Manager]’s eyes, it’s better for both parties if we spend five minutes frying an omelet than spending fifteen arguing that we can’t. I didn’t like it, but she did have a point, so I went back to the customer.
Me: “My manager said we’ll be able to make your omelette this time. Please go wait at the pickup counter.”
Customer: “What if I don’t want to?”
Folks, in my working career, this was the one and only time “but I don’t wanna” was brought up in the guise of a legitimate complaint. It was not my job to coddle customers who are being intentionally petulant. He had already berated me once. I was not gonna play a “cater to you” game for my $13 an hour.
Me: “Well, that’s where your food’s going to be.”
Customer: “Fine.”
And he sulked over to the pickup counter. I figured that would be the end of it.
We were busy, so when it was ready, I did what we usually did with to-go food: I left his bag at the pickup counter and called out the order.
It sat there for some time. The man didn’t come to claim it. I figured he was in the bathroom or something and got back to work.
A while later, my coworker came to relieve me from the to-gos so I could take my break. I went outside to chill and didn’t see the customer there until he grabbed my arm. I laughed, just a bit, in incredulity, and this old guy told me:
Customer: “Don’t laugh! This is ridiculous. I’ve been waiting half an hour for a f****** omelette!”
I went inside and the man followed me. I pointed to the bag on the counter.
Me: “There’s your omelet, where I told you it’d be.”
The man, of course, demanded his money back. I got [Manager], not only because of the refund, but now because I had a man who was cursing and thought it was okay to put his hands on me.
[Manager], who is by all accounts a Very Wholesome Southern Lady, went back up to the front to find the man. She immediately pulled the cash refund from the register and GRABBED THE OMELET BACK. Then, she told him it was unacceptable to curse at employees, he would not be served, and he had to leave or she would have him trespassed.
Customer: “You f****** b****, you act like you work at [Fast Food Chain], and you look like it, too.”
And so, [Manager] pulled out her phone and called 911 on a belligerent man harassing employees.
Even as [Manager] was on the phone with the authorities, he spent the whole time yelling that she was a b****, the restaurant was s***, and all sorts of other fun obscenities. He did this all while standing directly in front of the cash register. A handful of customers were uncomfortable and left.
When the cops DID actually arrive, as [Manager] said they would, the old man finally realized there would be consequences for his actions. He decided it was time to pull out his ace-in-the-hole — not just ANY ace-in-the-hole, and certainly not a well-thought-out ace-in-the-hole, but an ace-in-the-hole nonetheless.
He unbuckled his belt, HURLED HIS PANTS AT AN OFFICER, and then threw himself onto the floor as if he were having a seizure.
Despite his brilliant (awful) performance, the man was apprehended and removed from the premises.
And that is the tale of how I got a free hour-old omelette.