I’ve worked in K-12 education technology for most of my twenty-plus years in my professional career. When I first started, I was the only technician for a small/medium school district of 2,500 or so students. The Director of Special Education was married to the superintendent. I reported to the business manager who used to teach technology but was not a technical person. For the most part, I was left to do my work and was not micromanaged. I got into a habit of taking my lunch whenever I felt like it or even not at all. If I didn’t take lunch and there was no pressing work, I would just leave a little early at the end of the day. Of course, I made sure all the schools were out before I left.

As time went on, I got in trouble for leaving early, so I would take my lunch whenever time permitted; sometimes it was when there was only an hour left from work, sometimes not. But I would chill at my desk and just screw off. The others in the office reported me for screwing off every afternoon. When I tried to explain to the business manager that I was taking my lunch, she said something to the effect of, “You can no longer take your lunch whenever you want; your lunch is from 12:00 to 1:00.”

No problem, message received. So, starting that day, no matter what I was doing at 12:00, I would stop what I was doing and take my lunch. If I was at my desk, I would screw off. If I was at a school site, I would go sit in my car.

Fast forward a month or two. At about 11:30, the Director of SPED calls and says his computer is not working and I need to come fix it right away. I say sure thing and get on my way. When I get to his office, he asks me to fix it and heads off to a meeting. I start in on removing all spyware he has managed to. About a third of the way through, 12:00 hits. I stand up and walk out of his office and tell his secretary I’ll be back in an hour.

Out to my car I go, expecting a phone call any minute. Sure enough, about fifteen minutes in, I get a phone call from the business manager.

Business Manager: “I hear you walked out of the SPED Director’s office without fixing his computer.”

Me: “Correct. It is my lunchtime.”

Business Manager: “What do you mean? You couldn’t fix his computer first?”

Me: “I could have, but you told me that I could not decide when my lunch break was and that I had to take lunch from 12:00 to 1:00.”

Business Manager: “Wait, that’s not what I meant.”

Me: “But that is what you said. If I stayed and worked on the computer and took my lunch at 1:00 or 1:30, I did not want to get in trouble for screwing off when I was supposed to be working.”

Business Manager: “Okay, I’ll call you back.”

She called back about fifteen minutes later asking me to please go back in and finish the computer. She said that from then on, I could decide when the best time was to take my lunch. It was never talked about again. It was nice being able to go home early when I didn’t take my lunch again.

Tonight, a lady called in to make reservations for next month.

Customer: “I need two rooms for four adults for the first weekend in April. I think I saw online the rate was $81. Can you help me with that?”

Me: “I sure can! Was there a specific discount you were looking for, like AAA?”

Customer: “It sure was the AAA rate. And thanks for doing this; now I don’t have to fuss with the ding dang computer. Now, I want one room with a king bed and the other with two beds. I think the two beds are more expensive, but that’s okay.”

Me: “I show that two queens are the same rate as the king for those dates. Do you have a rewards number you want to attach to the reservations?”

Customer: “The two beds are the same price? That’s even better! I do have one of your numbers, but I don’t know where it is. I think I have it saved in my ding dang phone. Don’t worry about it, hun.”

Me: “You said your name was [Customer]? What city and state do you live in?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m from [City], [State].”

Me: “Okay, Ms. [Customer], I found your rewards profile right here.”

Customer: “Aren’t you a clever one! Thank you!”

I finish up the reservation and confirm her email address for the confirmation.

Me: “Would you like to write down your rewards number? That way you can log in with the app to see your reservations and check in.”

Customer: *To her husband* “FRANK! The girl said I can use my phone to check in!” *To me* “Yes, dear, I’d like that number. You have been so helpful and kind. We can’t wait to stay there.”

I hung up the phone chuckling as she started shouting at Frank again about the hotel.

Everyone who works in a restaurant has had campers before, and that can be especially frustrating on a Friday night where you have a limited amount of tables. However, tonight I was feeling laid back and trying not to walk too much as I have a sprained toe, so I have only three tables when I usually have five. I was not worried because my foot is swollen; this weekend was going to suck regardless.

Out of my three tables, I had two women sit from 6:30 to 9:00, and I believed they cashed out around 7:15 with a $40 check. I returned their change and new receipt; they tipped well. I was totally not stressed about it because I didn’t want to walk on my swollen and sore injured foot and they did tip well. I did offer more water after they cashed out and they said they were fine. I got cut around 9:00 and started helping my closing bartender.

The busser came over to me and handed me $50.

Me: “Where is this from?”

I had two open tables where $50 wouldn’t make sense.

Busser: “It’s from table [number], and they just left.”

These ladies paid me double to sit at the table and I’m grateful. I could have lost the chance to make money on that table but instead, I got extra money that I don’t have to tip out on.

Ladies, you know what’s up and I appreciate what you did.

Some guy had cut a coax cable in his backyard that carried the TV to the entire neighborhood. We were dispatched to fix it.

We dug a larger hole to get proper access and spliced the cable correctly and insulated it so people could get TV again. The job wasn’t overly hard but these things take time.

At the end of the job, a quite upset elderly lady popped her head out.

Lady: “Hey! You messed up the TV I was watching!”

All right. Understandable. Losing your TV for an hour or two can be annoying. We get it. That’s why we were there. To fix it.

However, she kept yelling at us.

Lady: “My TV reception is really bad! Why the h*** did you make my show black and white?!”

Well, this is odd as a coax cable really has just the signal in one wire and that’s it. It’s not like it can possibly split up the colors and filter them. I went to look at her TV to see if I could figure out the problem.

Sure enough, the TV was indeed in black and white.

Me: “Ma’am. Your TV is showing a documentary about World War II. Of course, it’s in black and white.”

At the electronics retailer where I work, we have this customer that we call Mr. Driving Gloves because… well… he always wears tacky driving gloves.

Our return policy is a strict thirty days. Mr. Gloves comes in once a month, buys north of $300 in random stuff, then returns all of it on day twenty-nine. He always claims that it is all “defective.” He will literally buy three boom boxes at once plus fifty random little things and just return them all. It is messing with our inventory and commissions badly enough that our manager has instructed us to never sell him anything again.

Mr. Driving Gloves comes in for his last time and returns everything. I am obligated to accept this return, and he begins walking around the store piling random things on the counter for roughly forty-five minutes. I am particularly annoyed with his shenanigans, so I let him finish before breaking the news. He comes to ring out and, with a big smile, I explain that because he is screwing up our inventory and commissions, we are never selling him anything again.

Of course, he argues that all those things were defective, and I reply that defects happen but not to everything you buy. I make it clear that we are not budging.

I’ll never forget his final words.

“I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOT OF LUCK IN LIFE ‘CAUSE YOU’RE GONNA NEED IT!”

Maybe he jinxed it. Ten years later, I have had a lot of luck in life. I have a beautiful wife, a wonderful toddler, and a career with a government agency, and we just bought our first house! Thank you, Mr. Driving Gloves!