I own a store that sells and services fireplaces. A guy calls the store.

Caller: “Do you guys clean fireplaces?”

Me: “Yes, we do!”

Caller: “Okay, and how much do you charge?”

Me: “$200.”

Caller: “Two… hundred?! What do you do for that much? I’ve got to hear this.”

I explain the whole cleaning process, as well as the safety inspection process.

Caller: “All right, well, that’s a little steep for me. I’m going to call around.”

Me: “No problem!”

I tell my employee about this funny call I just got. A minute later, the phone rings again, and the caller ID confirms it’s the same guy. This time, I have my employee answer.

They proceed to have the same conversation, except the caller asks when we could come out. We say we have an opening next Monday, and he says he has to check his schedule and he’ll call back.

About thirty minutes later, the same guy calls again. I answer, assuming he’s realized that everyone charges about the same price and we can probably come out the soonest.

Caller: “Do you guys clean fireplaces?”

I mentally face-palm.

Me: “Yes, we do!”

Caller: “Okay, and how much do you charge?”

Me: “$200.”

Caller: “Geez… Why does everyone charge $200?”

Me: *As cheerfully as possible* “Well, to be fair, sir, this is the third time you’ve called us.”

Caller: “Oh, really? I’m sorry. But wait a second. Why do you guys charge so much? This couldn’t be more than an hour of work.”

Me: “You’re not just paying for the technician’s time. You’re paying for the gas to get there, the truck, the tools, etc. You’re also paying for the car insurance, liability insurance, worker’s compensation, our rent for the store, and the wages of the employees available here to answer your call or help you when you come to the store. We also have an electric bill, gas bill, and water bill.”

I’ve had this type of question a lot, and this answer has almost always been met with understanding and usually winning the customer’s business. This time, however…

Caller: “Well, why do you pass those costs on to me? Why don’t you pay for it?”

Me: “Where do you suppose I get the money to pay for it myself?”

Caller: “From the money you take in as a business!”

Me: “Just not your money?”

Caller: “No, I mean… Ugh, okay, I get it. All right, well, $200 is just too much. I’m going to call around. I promise I won’t call you again.”

Me: “Fair enough. Have a nice night.”

I work in retail. My shift lead, my manager, and I were working the closing shift together last week. I had just finished helping receive a shipment and was stocking the shelves, the lead was manning the service desk, and my manager was doing a walk-through of the store. We were the only three people in the store that night, and it’s a big store. None of us could see each other, and none of us except my boss had walkie-talkies. (That was a mistake!)

I finished what I was doing on the sales floor and came up to the front desk to talk to my shift lead. He grabbed me by the arm and said in a low voice:

Shift Lead: “Go find [Manager], now!“

It was out of the ordinary and super creepy.

Me: “What? Is she okay? What’s going on?”

Shift Lead: “Just go find [Manager], and be quiet about it. There’s a very sketchy-looking customer standing near the double doors with a cart full of merchandise, and I’m afraid he’s going to run out with it.”

I went to find my manager, and I had to pass the guy on the way. I put on my fake customer service voice.

Me: “How’s your night going? Are you finding everything okay?”

Customer: *Staring at me* “Yeah, I’m fine, thanks.”

Once I was out of eyesight, I ran to the back room and found my boss. I told her what was going on, and we walked together to the foyer.

Shift Lead: “The guy ran out the door, and he left the cart.”

I started to go out the first set of automatic doors with my phone in hand to see if I could get a picture of the guy, his car, or his license plates.

Manager: “Hey, don’t chase him.”

Me: “Yeah yeah, I know, I’ll be careful.”

My dumb a** started walking out the second set of automatic doors to the parking lot when my boss YELLED at me:

Manager: “DO NOT GO OUTSIDE!”

She never, ever yells, so it scared me. I turned around and came back inside, and my manager escorted me back into the store and away from the windows.

Manager: “That guy was sitting in his car with the lights off, staring at you. There was someone in the passenger seat, and they were staring at you, too!”

I had seen the car in the lot but didn’t think anyone was in it. I don’t know how she saw the guy in there, but I’m glad she did.

My manager ended up locking the doors, even though it was still thirty minutes to close. She then rang up the guy’s cart, and it was over $850 worth of booze. We went to her office and filled out a report.

Once everyone’s shifts had ended, we walked together to our cars; nobody really wanted to be alone in the parking lot that night.

I’ve seen shoplifters, and I’ve seen sketchy customers come in near closing, but this guy was really weird. He gave off a really creepy vibe and scared the s*** out of my boss and me, and neither of us scare easily.

I work at a mid-tier extended-stay hotel. Most of our extended-stay guests are government workers, and with them being here for months at a time, you develop a good relationship with them — if you’re lucky!

One of these guests is super nice. She’s always outside smoking whenever I pop out on a smoke break. We tell each other our life stories and talk about our cats. She sometimes comes up to the front and chats, too. It makes the nights go by smoothly.

One night, she comes up to the desk while my assistant general manager and I are working the 3:00 to 11:00 shift. She looks… embarrassed? Shocked? It’s not an expression I’ve seen on her face before. She’s former military, and she looks and sounds like the type of lady who has chain-smoked Marlboros for forty years.

Guest: “Can you come down to my room? I had an accident in there.”

I trot down the hall with her because we have good relationship. I’m figuring it’s something minor — she knocked over a lamp or broke a dish or something. No big deal; it’s a quiet night and I’m bored. She opens the door and, dear readers, the first words out of my mouth are:

Me: “Holy s***.”

There is a g**d*** gunshot through her window.

She was cleaning her gun, checked the chamber, took out the clip, and still had the bright idea to point it at the window and PULL THE TRIGGER. On the FIRST FLOOR. She’s government and former military, and she still did that! I don’t know what that hotel uses for soundproofing, but she is on the first floor and we didn’t hear it at the front desk. That baffles me to this day.

Realizing this is above my paygrade, I go back and tell my assistant general manager to take a look at the room. He comes back shaking his head, muttering something about, “I hate my job.”

Unsurprisingly, she does not remain a guest for very long. Her department “reassigns” her and pays for the window, and we never see her again.

Of course, we have guests ask about what happened to the window. My general manager has instructed all of us to say, “A lawnmower sent a rock through the window.”

I told that to one guest, and he looked suspicious.

Guest #2: “It looks like a bullet went through it.”

Me: *Laughs* “Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?”

I’m a bridal consultant at a very popular bridal salon in my town. I have many years of experience and love what I do. Most of the bridal gowns in my shop are “special order”, meaning they must be ordered before they are made by the designer, and lead times can be anywhere from four weeks to eight and a half months. Not everyone knows this when they come shopping for a gown. That’s the whole point of me being there. I make sure we can get the dress in time, that any desired customizations or alterations are possible, and that the price is within the bride’s budget.

When this particular bride and her mother stepped into the store, they immediately went to the racks and started ripping through the neatly hung gowns.

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name]. I will be your consultant for your appointment.”

This bride had a fairly short engagement — about four and a half months — and I knew that only some of the gowns would be available in time. As I tried to explain the process to her and her mother, she sharply cut me off.

Bride: “Just let us shop and leave us alone!”

I was STUNNED to be spoken to so rudely. So, I did as I as told: I left them alone, even when I saw them looking at dresses twice the bride’s budget that wouldn’t arrive until months after her wedding. I never took any of the gowns back to a dressing room or asked the bride if she’d like to actually try them on. Even after they stood by for a while, clearly waiting for me to take the bride back to the dressing rooms, I just continued on with my other work as if they didn’t exist.

Eventually, they realized that I had no intentions of acknowledging or helping them in any way, and they left without getting to try on any gowns.

The owner asked me about it after they left, and I told her the whole story.

Owner: *Laughing* “Good for you!”

I’m working in a mid-tier extended-stay hotel, less than a month after opening. This couple and their tiny baby are down at breakfast. The guy is complaining about the breakfast offerings; this is one of those properties that have breakfast sandwiches the guests have to heat up themselves. The guy is a bit of an a** to [General Manager] — nothing to get them kicked out but definitely enough to be put on the radar.

That afternoon, the fire panel lights up with smoke detected from a room — not enough to set off the whole building, at least. Housekeeping goes upstairs to investigate, and it turns out it’s the breakfast couple’s room. Immediately, there are three things wrong.

1. The room reeks of the devil’s lettuce.
2. The couple is not in the room.
3. THEY LEFT THEIR BABY ALONE IN THE ROOM.

Of course, the police are called and the camera footage is checked. The police get there, and the couple finally returns after thirty or forty-five minutes. They are promptly arrested.

Why did they leave? They had to go get more rolling papers, of course. They can’t take the baby with them for that.

A few years later, a woman comes in with her toddler and asks to speak to [General Manager]. I don’t recognize her, but it’s the woman who was arrested. Getting arrested and losing her kid was the wake-up call she needed. She has finally gotten back custody of her daughter, and she wants to thank [General Manager].

It surprises the h*** out of both of us, but hey, at least she cleaned up her life enough to get her kid back.