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A collection of stories curated from different subreddits, adapted for NAR.

An Unlikely Shoplifter And Some Sound Advice

, , , | Right | CREDIT: tyw7 | October 5, 2021

I was on tills at a neighborhood grocery store. Around noon, an old lady came up with a large basketful of groceries. I scanned them all and placed them on the left-hand side of the till. I always place unscanned items on the right desk and the scanned items on the left.

While scanning, I asked for her membership card, which she presented. After I scanned the last item, I mentioned the total, which was around £40, and asked, “Will that be cash or card?”

The lady probably didn’t hear me and started packing her items. I asked her three times, as loud as I could without screaming. My eyes met with the next customer, and I gave them a bemused look.

Then, to my surprise, the old lady started walking off with the groceries! I pressed on my headset to ask how I should respond.

I deducted her groceries from her membership points since she had enough points to pay for most of the items; I used her points to try to minimize the loss of the store.

Then, my manager said, “Stop her!” I left the till to try to stop her, but my manager was faster. After pointing from afar to confirm whether the lady near the door was the one that hadn’t paid, he said to the lady, “My colleague is waiting for you to pay for your stuff.”

She returned to the till and paid for her items. After I took off her points, I think it was about £0.20 remaining that she needed to pay.

After this incident, I asked my manager what I should have done and he said, “If it’s old ladies, try to stop them. If it’s guys who can beat you up, just let it go.”

Wishing You Could Ship These Customers Out To Sea

, , | Right | CREDIT: MaiTai0427 | October 4, 2021

I work for an online-only supply store; orders must be shipped out to our customers. We get numerous calls a day about the same thing: shipping. Everyone has this mentality that shipping is free and will always go out the same day.

We see a range of order sizes, from the small orders of a couple of cases of product to the insanely large where an entire semi is filled with pallets of product. I’ve seen shipping costs in the thousands of dollars, enough to make your heart palpitate.

My favorite calls are the ones who want to argue about the fact that their shipping is $20. These customers fight the hardest. I think I’ve heard just about every insult or bargain over this $20.

Customer #1: “$20?! That’s outrageous! I’ll get it tomorrow, right?”

Customer #2: “What do you mean, ground shipping takes up to five business days? You don’t have a local store to send this from?”

Customer #3: “This other company will let me order the same thing and it’s free shipping. Can’t you price-match that?”

Customer #4: “I am not paying that or your handling fee. I’ve been a customer since December and have ordered multiple times—”

In reality, they’ve ordered twice.

Customer #4: “—and this is how you treat your loyal customers?”

Customer #5: “I live in the same city as your warehouse. Can’t you just leave my order outside the warehouse door? I’ll come pick it up. I promise I’ll waive the liability if it goes missing if I don’t make it on time.”

Customer #6: “Your company is big enough to give free shipping for smaller orders. How do you expect small business owners to get started if you’re charging them shipping and handling fees?”

Customer #7: “Oh, and I need this by tomorrow, preferably by noon, because I need this supply for a demo at a major expo. How come I don’t see tracking information in my email yet?”

People fascinate me.

What A Dittohead

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Hawkzillaxiii | October 4, 2021

About ten years ago, my friend and I go into an electronics store so he can look at a TV he preordered. I’m wearing a black “Slayer” T-shirt and some jeans. As my friend is waiting in line at customer service, I decide to wander around a bit. I am looking at the fridges, bored, when a man in his mid-forties walks up to me.

Man: “Can you help me buy a stove?”

Me: *Politely* “Oh, I’m sorry. I cannot help you. I don’t work here.”

I go back to just looking at some freezers when I hear the man cough really loudly.

Man: “Hey, boy, I said I need help. Do you want your commission or not?”

Me: “I don’t work here, man.”

I wave my hand around at my shirt.

Man: *Super angry* “How about I go get a manager?”

I have had it with this guy.

Me: “Yeah, go grab him. Maybe he can help you. Your head is so far up your a** that my voice must be muffled; I DON’T WORK HERE! I am not even remotely dressed as an employee, bro!”

He leaves and I wander over to the gaming section. A burly man in a blue [Store] shirt and [Man] come walking over.

Employee: “Umm, is everything okay over here?”

Man: “See? That’s the guy. Not such a tough guy now since I got your boss, huh?”

Employee: “Umm, sir, I’m not his boss. He doesn’t work here. He has a Slayer T-shirt on; that should have been a dead giveaway.”

Man: “But he looks like an employee!”

Employee: “Nope, not even close.”

Man: “Well, what are you going to do for me?!”

Employee: “How about this? I don’t remove you from the store for harassing another customer and you can finish shopping without further trouble. Is that doing something for you?”

The guy glared at me for forever until the employee gave up and asked him to leave.

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 105

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Akschadt | October 3, 2021

I work for a collections job in a bank where I deal with people behind on their payments for retail services. One of the more common things I deal with is past dues on [Credit Card Company] cards. I get this lady on the phone who is irate.

Caller: “Your automated system won’t accept my payment!”

That’s normal; most people hit an extra button and type in the wrong account number or switch the expiration date up. I go through the normal business of collecting this payment — something like an $800 balance with $200 of it past due.

Me: “I can use a debit card or bank account information for the payment.”

Caller: “Card.”

She gives me her information and I pull up my screen to process it through. It gets declined. She loses her mind.

Caller: *Screaming* “How dare you decline my card?! I’ve been a customer for years! When I got this card, you said it would be accepted anywhere [Credit Card Company] is accepted, and that’s everywhere. And now you’re declining me!”

I sit there for a second and look at the card number she provided and then at her account number; they’re the same number.

Me: “Ma’am are you… trying to pay off your [Credit Card Company] card… with your [Credit Card Company] card?”

The answer was yes. What followed was a twenty-minute conversation about how you can’t pay off a credit card with the same credit card. She hung up after threatening to sue me personally for false advertising as, “[Credit Card Company] apparently isn’t accepted everywhere like you said!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 104
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 103
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 102
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 101
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 100

No Shirt, No Payment, No Service

, , , | Right | CREDIT: abblejacksvaill | October 3, 2021

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “I placed an order online and there was a service added to my account that I didn’t order. What the f*** did you do?”

Me: “I’m so sorry for this mistake. I see you haven’t been charged yet, so I’d be more than happy to remove said service for you.”

Caller: “And I’d be more than happy to keep it!”

I’m confused because she seemed irritated it was on there.

Me: “Okay, I can leave it on there if you’d like, but you will be charged for it.”

Caller: “Why would I have to pay for something you f***** up?”

I’d like to reiterate that she placed this order online, and therefore, the only live person who had anything to do with her order was her. I double-check our website order entry; there’s no way to accidentally order this kind of service.

Me: “Because you would be receiving the service, ma’am.”

Caller: “Right, but I didn’t order it. You put it on there. Why should I have to pay?”

Me: “As I said, I apologize that there was a mistake while you placed an online order, but I cannot leave the service on your account unless you are paying for it.”

We go back and forth like this for about ten minutes or so, so if you want a more realistic version of the call, reread every part up to this a couple of times.

Caller: “Then just cancel my f****** order.”

Me: “I can definitely do that. One moment.”

Caller: “YOU AREN’T EVEN GOING TO TRY TO RETAIN MY BUSINESS?!”

Me: “As I’ve stated previously, I can remove the service and you won’t be charged, or I can leave it and you will be; there is no middle ground there. If you would like to cancel instead of one of those options, I can also do that.”

Caller: “Just f****** do it, then.”

She hung up on me, so I cancelled the order and noted the account well. I checked her account today, and guess who tried to pull the same crap with another representative not even two hours later?