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A collection of stories curated from different subreddits, adapted for NAR.

Candles Are Supposed To Be Relaxing

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: mammacarrie | July 24, 2021

My teenage daughter asked me to pick up a couple of candles for her on Annual Candle Day at a popular bath store. Little did I know, she was pulling one over on me. Crowds make me cringe. You absolutely will not find me out fighting over items on Black Friday. If someone really wants something that badly, they must need it more than I do.

I am standing in this pool of fairly friendly people waiting for our turn to check out the candle selection. I put my earbuds in and get music going quietly to help control my anxiety. Suddenly, a well-to-do-looking older woman taps me on the shoulder and starts yakking at me with a pissed-off look on her face. I pull my earbuds out of my ears.

Me: *Politely* “I’m sorry! I had my music playing. What did you say?”

She shoves a coupon four inches from my face.

Woman: “I saiiiiiid, can I use this on the candles?”

Me: “Oh. I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not really sure. Let’s ask someone.”

I smile at her and start looking around to see if I can spot an employee.

Woman: “My God! Well, you work here, don’t you?”

I glance down at my hairstylist attire — solid black everything — and wonder how the H*** she could have mistaken me for an employee.

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t.”

With that, she threw her hands up in the air and stormed out of the store, mumbling to herself. She was obviously upset that she couldn’t just command some rando to answer her coupon question. I’m still trying to figure out if I really looked like an employee or if I just look like a person who knows stuff.

Impatience Does Not Become You (Or Get You A Seat)

, , , | Right | CREDIT: pitterbugjerfume | July 23, 2021

We have about eight tables waiting, and I am bringing in a three-top to sit at one of our high-top tables, just as a lady and her friend are sitting down. This lady comes in frequently, usually by herself, and she’s just annoying.

Me: “I’m sorry, we are on a wait. I’m seating these folks, but I can put you on the list.”

I walk away for no more than a minute and come back.

Regular: “We know them! Can you add a couple of chairs for us?”

Me: *Looking around* “There are no open chairs or bar stools; every single one is taken right now.”

Regular: “What about next door? Can you take a couple from there? And why are they so busy?”

We have a separate bar next door that handles the people waiting and has TVs for games, etc.

Me: “No, we are at capacity due to [health crisis] restrictions, and they are so busy because there are eight parties waiting for tables!”

I admit I’m bulls***ting about the restrictions a little.

Next, the regular starts putting her coat and bag on a bar chair that just opened up, and my bartender tells her she needs to move it because we are going to seat some people there who have been WAITING.

Regular: *To me* “Gosh, I come here all the time. I just didn’t know what was going on. Wow, I just thought we could find a place to sit.”

I finally get her and her friend next door, and then I go back and take the order for the three-top that she had originally tried to join.

Customer: “Thank you so much for taking care of that! We barely know her. I worked with her like ten years ago, and it was really weird that she tried to join us.”

The Windows Are Open But No One Is Home

, , , , | Romantic | CREDIT: FinancialElephant5 | July 23, 2021

After work one day, I stopped by the store to get some stuff for dinner. I had gotten little sleep the night before, and I accidentally locked my keys in my car. They had fallen out of my purse, or I thought I put them in my purse; I honestly don’t know how I did it. I am surprised I got to the store.

My car windows were up completely, so there was no way of somehow jamming something in there to unlock it. However, I had a spare key at the apartment, so I called my boyfriend.

Me: “Hey, I accidentally locked myself out of the car. Can you bring me my spare car key?”

Boyfriend: “How did you even do that?”

Me: “I honestly don’t remember — something involving my purse. Can you bring me my car key please? I’ll get you Pop-Tarts.”

Boyfriend: “Just unlock your car.”

Me: “I can’t. My keys are locked in the car.”

Boyfriend: “No, you can unlock it. Just stick your hand through the window and unlock it.”

Me: “No, I can’t. My window is up.”

Boyfriend: “Get a coat hanger.”

Me: “I can’t. My window is completely up. There is absolutely no way I can get anything through my window.”

Boyfriend: “Yes, you can. Just stick your hand through the window and unlock it!”

I honestly couldn’t believe I was actually having this conversation.

Me: “Listen to me very carefully. My window is completely rolled up, meaning there is no way for me to put my hand through the window and unlock it. There is no way to put a coat hanger through the window because the window, all the windows, are completely rolled up!”

Boyfriend: “Well, I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”


Boyfriend: “WHY?!”

I honestly thought he was messing with me, but he really sounded aggravated and like I wasn’t understanding him at all.

Me: “I will tell you later. Please bring me my spare car key from the apartment. Please.”

Boyfriend: “Okay, fine. I don’t see why you need it.”

I hung up, completely frustrated. I went inside and got my shopping done. I saw [Boyfriend]’s car pull into the store’s parking lot and headed outside to meet him. He handed me my spare key.

Me: “Come here, [Boyfriend].”

Boyfriend: “Ooooh, am I going to get a kiss?!”


Me: “Look into my car, [Boyfriend].”

He looked into my car.

Me: “Do you see my keys in there, [Boyfriend]?”

Boyfriend: “Yes?”

Me: “Try to get them out, [Boyfriend].”

He tried to open my car door. It was locked.

Boyfriend: “I can’t; it’s locked.”

Me: “Try to get them out without my spare car key.”

He then proceeded to look for a window crack. There was none.

Boyfriend: “I can’t. There isn’t a way to stick my hand or anything in there to unlock.”

I stared at him. He didn’t understand why I was staring at him.

I handed him my spare key and told him to show me how to get the car keys out now. He then unlocked the door, rolled down my window, locked the car, shut the door, and then reached his arm through the OPEN window and unlocked it.

Boyfriend: “See, like that. Unlock it like that!”

At this point, I had such a massive headache from him not understanding why it was literally impossible for me to do any of that that I just put the groceries into my car, got into my car, and drove home.

That night at home, he asked if I was mad at him.

Me: “I wouldn’t say mad. I’m more… frustrated… annoyed… tired… baffled.”

Boyfriend: “Well, I can understand, especially if you couldn’t simply unlock your door like I showed you today.”

I went and got high after that.

Two weeks later, we decided to go to the downtown area for our date night. Before heading downtown, we had to get gas. I was waiting in his car when he rolled down his window and unlocked it from the outside by sticking his arm through THE OPEN WINDOW.

Boyfriend: “Seeee, like that. Next time your keys are locked in your car, unlock it like that.”

He later brought it up to my mom at dinner. She also tried to explain to him why his idea wouldn’t work AT ALL, but he was determined to make sense of it, when he couldn’t because the f****** WINDOW WAS ROLLED UP.

That was two years ago. I am still very much dating him; in fact, we are engaged now. I love him deeply; he is a good man. He just happens to be an idiot.

You Can Order Cake By Mail?!

, , | Right | CREDIT: SunRaies29 | July 23, 2021

I work the counter of a very small bakery. There are two other people I share shifts with, the owner is one of two bakers, and I’m technically the cake decorator but I work the counter so that I can earn consistent money. Small. You get it.

Despite this, we get many orders for cakes and other goodies. Unbeknownst to me, the man who called us yesterday placed an order for a cake to be mailed to him one state away. I only learn this when he calls to complain that it hasn’t arrived.

Me: “Good morning, [Bakery]!”

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling about a cake that was supposed to be delivered to [Town] yesterday. It hasn’t shown up yet.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t know anything about the order, but I can give you my boss’s email address and you can send her a message. She’ll be able to help you better than I can.”

Caller: “I don’t have time to email anyone! I’m at work and I’m busy!

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you. I don’t know anything about the order.”

Caller: “Where’s the girl that took the order?! Can I talk to her?!

Me: “I don’t know who took your order, sir. There’s like five of us here who answer the phone.”

Caller: “Where are the other five, then?! Are they anywhere around you?!”

Me: “No, I’m the only one here.”

Caller: “Well, that is just disgusting. How do you—”

Me: “Sir, we are a very small bakery. I’m the only person here and I’m trying to help you as best I can. I can give you the owner’s email and she will be able to help you.”

Caller: “Okay. Yes, I’ll email the owner. What’s the email?”

Me: “It’s [email address].”

Caller: “Thank you. I’ll email her.”

Me: “Okay, have a nice day!”

I texted my boss about it, just to let her know what had happened. She called me later to hear the full story because she was going to call and reprimand the caller for their behavior toward me. And the best part?

She checked the tracking number for the package. The cake had been delivered at 11:17 the morning before, when it was supposed to have been delivered.

Some People Will Never Accept Change

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: zyronbenedict13 | July 22, 2021

My shop has an unexpected customer surge, and our paper bills for change run out. Then, a customer comes in and pays with a 1000-peso bill for a 600-peso item.

Me: “Do you have a smaller bill?”

Customer: *Sneering* “The customer shouldn’t have to fix the cashier’s problems.”

Me: “If you have a 100-peso bill, I can give you a 500-peso bill.”

He gets furious and screams at me.

Customer: “I want to speak to a manager!”

Me: *With a smile* “I’m the manager.”

Customer: “No! I refuse to believe that. You’re too young to be a manager!”

I’m twenty-four, but I look much younger than my actual age because of, well, my Asian genes. Even after my employees confirm I’m the manager, he’s still really doubtful.

Customer: “Human resources probably made a huge mistake when they hired you.”

I’m really offended at his remark, but I maintained my calm demeanor while silently planning for my petty revenge.

I reached under the register and grabbed a bag that contained packs of coins, with each pack containing 100 1-peso coins. I grabbed four packs and gave them to him. He was so horrified because that s*** is heavy. He began verbally assaulting me until the customers behind him got furious and asked him to leave already.

He was still throwing a fit while the customer after him and I laughed at his meltdown.

Working as a store manager is not the best job ever, but petty revenge such as this gives me some short-term entertainment.