I work for a construction company as an inventory admin. My job is to basically schedule counts of our warehouse and input the numbers they give me for inventory. Then, I try to see what the problem is when the numbers on the last count and the current count don’t add up. There is a little bit more to it, but I will not bore you with the specifics.

The problem with this job is that when you have been doing it long enough and are good at it, there is less work to do. In the beginning, when counting one rack out of sixty racks of material would take a few days, it was fine because I was always busy. But now that everything is in order, the entire warehouse can be counted in three days. This leaves me bored most of the time.

To fix this, I studied up on the cloud-based ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning) service that we use for all internal and external transactions and have become sort of an expert on it. Every single aspect of this company uses this ERP service to do its job. Timesheets, HR, payroll, accounting, scheduling, management, manufacturing, ordering from vendors, delivering, inventory, etc., all run through this ERP service. So, it is very important that this service is up and running perfectly twenty-four-seven.

I became so proficient in this service that our Vice President decided to cut ties with our consultants with the ERP because I could do what they did but better, quicker, and MUCH cheaper. For reference, we were paying these consultants $5,000 a month just to be on standby if we needed them, and we had to dish out more money to fix those problems depending on how many hours of their time was spent on it. It was something like $200 an hour, and they took weeks to fix anything. I could fix the problem in time for my daily afternoon shift break.

I never got an official job title or raise of any kind for being an expert on this service. The company just saw me being able to do it and let me fix things that happened so they no longer needed outside help. I wasn’t too upset because it gave me something to do, and I was glad to help the company save money, even if none of that money fell my way.

Skip ahead a few months. We now have a new warehouse manager. Someone in the warehouse messes something up in inventory by sending a bunch of materials to the wrong job with no records of it being shipped. We are talking about a half-a-million-dollar screw-up here.

On the same day, our ERP has an update that causes a bunch of bugs with our accounting department. I decide to work on the ERP problem first because the warehouse problem is more of a delay problem and is not actually stopping anybody from doing their job at the moment, while this accounting problem means our bills are not able to be paid. You can guess what kind of issues we will have if bills are not paid.

The ERP bugs turn out to be quite big and numerous, so it ends up taking me a couple of days to figure out, but I fix it before any bills are actually due and decided to take lunch a little early to celebrate a victory. Crisis averted.

The new warehouse manager storms into my office after I get back from lunch and is LIVID. Apparently, the bosses are pinning the blame on him for the warehouse screw-up. And considering he is the one who oversees shipments and personnel in the warehouse, the blame is rightfully placed. He starts laying into me, yelling and screaming like a child.

Manager: “Why haven’t you fixed our problems in the warehouse yet?!”

Me: “I was fixing an ERP issue and have not had time to look at the warehouse problem yet.”

He gets even angrier.

Manager: “It’s funny how you have time to take early lunches but not to do your job.”

That pisses me off but I hold my tongue and keep calm about the situation.

Manager: “You are to only do what is in your job title, and leave the ERP bulls*** to the people competent enough to handle it!”

Since this guy is technically my supervisor, I have no choice but to obey. I ask him to send me that in writing, and he snarks and storms back into his office. Five minutes later, I get an email stating that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES am I to work on anything related to ERP unless it involves inventory.

I do nothing but inventory from that point forward, knowing d*** well that we will be essentially coasting until we hit a problem that I will refuse to fix.

Sure enough, not even a week later, I get an email from a Human Resources employee that some sort of bug in the ERP system is preventing them from accessing payroll to pay employees this week.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I am no longer able to work on ERP bugs due to orders from [Supervisor]. You’ll have to refer to the ERP system help guide for further assistance.”

I know the help guide is not going to help [HR Employee] in the slightest, but it is no longer my problem so I am not going to deal with it.

Skip a few days later to Friday. I check my bank account in the morning before getting to work and laugh because there is no money deposited. That problem never got fixed. I hurry up and get to work, excited to see the chaos unfold. And what I was expecting was an understatement.

When I show up to work, I see the ENTIRE warehouse staff of fifty people walking out of the front door. I stopped one and asked why they are leaving.

Employee: “I didn’t get paid today, so I am not coming back until I do.”

I go into the office and see the warehouse manager in a panic. He has jobs that need material and nobody to load it onto trucks or deliver.

Me: “Do you need help with anything?”

Manager: *Screaming at me* “Leave my office! I’m getting phone calls out the a** from superintendents of jobs asking why our material hasn’t arrived yet!”

I pass by HR on the way to my office and see a bunch of the bosses huddled up over [HR Employee]’s computer with her, with angry and confused expressions on their faces, I guess trying to figure out the problem. I feel bad for her because it really is something out of her control, but I know she will ultimately be okay because she has been there for so long that they would never fire her.

When I get to my office, I see the VP waiting for me there. He has a very pissed-off expression on his face.

VP: “Why didn’t you fix [HR Employee]’s problem when she emailed you about it?!”

Me: “I am no longer allowed to work on ERP problems as it is not in my job title.”

VP: *Shocked* “Why the sudden change of heart?”

I show him the email from [Manager] and I can see the dots connect in his head. He immediately storms out, and I see him heading straight to [Manager]’s office.

They are in there for a few hours, but eventually, [VP] comes back to my office. He seems calmer now.

VP: *Politely* “Can you fix the problem in HR? And can you resume fixing the ERP if needed?”

At this point, I like the relief of responsibility.

Me: “I will only do it if you officially put it in my job title, along with a raise.”

His calmness turns to anger again.

VP: “I cannot believe you!”

And he storms out and returns to his office.

A few hours later, he sends out a mass email informing us all that he has hired the old ERP consultants to fix the problem and that next week, everyone will be paid the money they are owed, along with the money they earned if they return to work. This one surprises me as [VP] would rather pay over $60,000 a year to consultants than give me a few extra bucks an hour for better work. I think he expects me to change my mind and just do it for my own paycheck, but I decide to wait because I know how these consultants are, and if they manage to fix this problem in a week, I will streak naked through the office. Most of the warehouse staff agree to return but are still upset about not getting paid.

Sure enough, next Friday comes around. Nobody gets paid again. At this point, it is becoming a real problem and the entire staff is becoming agitated. They have bills to pay. I even hear a bunch of the warehouse staff talking about some competitors nearby they could go work for. At this point, I even consider just fixing the problem because the warehouse doesn’t deserve to be treated like that due to poor management. Maybe I am a jerk for this, but I am severely underpaid and can barely afford my apartment; there is no reason I should do extra work for free.

That same day, [VP] returns to my office and hands me papers. These papers say that I will be promoted to a newly created position that deals with inventory and ERP upkeep. It will be its own department and [VP] will be my direct supervisor. It also comes with a hefty raise. All I have to do is sign and agree. I look up at him after reading the paper, and he has the saddest look on his face.

VP: “Please just sign it. The consultants said it would take them weeks to get around to fixing it due to the high volume of clients they have taken on, and we cannot keep skipping paychecks.”

I happily signed it and immediately got to work on the HR issue. I even managed to fix it that same day. It was just a simple problem with the permissions of HR and payroll in the ERP due to the update.

This story is part of our Not Always Working Most-Epic Stories roundup!

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I work in customer services for a pretty big department store in the UK. A customer orders a bunch of baby stuff, including a car seat with a separate base it sits on you can rotate it, to make it easier to get the baby out of the car.

I get a call from that customer later.

Me: “Hello there, you’ve reached [Retailer] customer services. My name is [My Name]. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I received the wrong car seat.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. Let’s get that swapped for you… So… you said you got the wrong car seat?”

I must repeat things back to the customer to ensure I’m taking the correct notes to get the order fixed.

Customer: “YES! I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU I NEED THE OTHER ONE, NOT THIS ONE!”

Me: “All righty, that’s easy enough to fix. I’ll just speak to our delivery team and get this sorted for you, quick as a button.”

I gather some information and call our delivery team.

Me: “[Customer] didn’t get the right car seat; she got [model #1], not [model #2].”

According to the delivery team, the system says her car seat hasn’t shipped yet, so now we spend twenty-five minutes trying to figure out how she somehow got an extra car seat on in her delivery. It shouldn’t be possible.

Eventually, we manage to arrange a collection for the incorrect one and for the right one to be sent out via next-day delivery since she paid for that delivery type.

I go back to the customer and tell her that it’s sorted.

Customer: “So, I’m getting it tomorrow, then? Good. It wouldn’t do for me to have my car seat on Thursday if I didn’t have the base for it to sit on.”

I literally stayed silent for like twenty seconds and slammed my head on the desk in defeat.

She hung up, and I spent the next twenty minutes correcting the mistake since she told me the wrong item was missing. To clarify: the base didn’t arrive, but she received a second, different car seat instead, while the correct seat was due to be delivered in a few days.

She told me that it was the car seat itself that was missing and wasted loads of time getting us to replace an item she hadn’t yet received. And getting everything corrected caused me to leave work late and miss my train home.

My company takes safety very seriously. We have safety briefings on a regular basis to keep us updated. One day, we have a talk on compactor safety. One of our big rules is to never, EVER, under any circumstances climb into a compactor unless it’s unhooked from any power sources. Sounds like common sense, right? Well, dear reader, as you’re about to learn, apparently common sense isn’t that common.

After getting our briefing, we get our assignments and are sent on our merry way. I go to my area, clean it, and pull trash. As I’m walking to the compactor, what do I see sticking out of it but two trousered legs? After the shock lasting a nanosecond wears off, I start yelling.

Me: “What are you doing, you idiot?! Don’t go crawling around in there!”

I know I shouldn’t yell but I am so mad. My coworker falls out of the machine and starts yelling at me.

Coworker: “Don’t you go yelling at me! Where is your manager!? Get them here right now!”

Malicious Compliance mode activated.

I put on my sweetest smile.

Me: “Of course, I’m so sorry. Let’s get my manager here.”

Coworker: *Smirking* “Good girl.”

I call my manager over and ask her to come over. Meanwhile, [Coworker] is smiling like the cat who got the cream. I’m fighting to keep from smiling because my manager takes safety as seriously as I do. I’ve seen her reduce full-grown men to tears over safety issues.

Coworker: *To [Manager]* “You should train your workers to not yell.”

Manager: *To me* “And why were you yelling at him?”

Me: “Because I caught him climbing into the compactor and I got scared he’d be crushed.”

In a nanosecond, [Coworker] went from looking like a contented cat to looking like a scolded dog.

After a sound verbal thrashing, [Manager] called [Coworker]’s manager. Within thirty minutes, [Coworker] was clearing out his desk, still smelling of garbage.

I work in a restaurant. Yesterday, two people sat themselves in my section at a dirty table; the tablecloth hadn’t even been changed. The people weren’t RUDE exactly. While we reseated the two, they asked:

Customers: “Where’re our menus?”

This was while the busser, hosts, and I were trying to move around them, clearing glasses and plates. They acted confused if anything, like, how DARE this table not be ready for us at a reservation-based fine-dining restaurant?

I got water for them and tried to do my spiel — the whole “These are our chef specials, etc.” thing — and they interrupted me.

Customer #1: “If I order a glass of wine, do I pay for it?”

I thought I misheard.

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer #1: “If I order a glass of wine do I pay for it?”

Me: *Very professionally* “Yes, it will be on your bill at the end of the dining experience.”

Customer #1: *Disappointed and confused* “Oh…” *Pauses* “Do I want the burger or the salmon?”

Me: “Hmm, are you in the mood for red meat or seafood? The burger is garnished with [items] and sits between a baked in-house [bread] bun, and it has rich, savory flavors, while the salmon comes with [vegetables] and a brightly flavored [flavor] glaze.”

I received a stare of confusion.

Me: “I can give you a moment if you would like to review the menu further.”

Customer #1: “No, we’re ready now.”

Me: “Okay, what would you like?”

Customer #1: “I don’t know.”

I was just wondering, “What the f*** is happening?” There was no language barrier. There didn’t seem to be a culture barrier. They weren’t acting rude or upset, just confused. They were well-dressed and at least forty; they HAD to have gone to a restaurant before to know how this works.

Customer #2: “She’s asking you what to order.”

Okay, all right. She wanted me to decide for her. That’s actually pretty common; you just need to explicitly say that.

Me: “All right, I suggest the salmon, then.” *To [Customer #2]* “And for you?”

Customer #2: “I’ll have the [filet], well done — absolutely no pink.”

I repeated the order back, they agreed, I thought I was in the clear, and I was about to walk away.

Customer #1: “Will you bring us appetizers?”

Me: “Of course, what would you like?”

They responded without even opening the menu.

Customer #1: “Chicken wings.”

Me: “I apologize, we don’t have chicken wings. Might I suggest [appetizer #1] or [appetizer #2]? We also have [chicken entree], which would be the closest thing to chicken wings and is an excellent sharing option.”

Blank stare.

Customer #2: “She just wants something fast.”

I explained our from-scratch kitchen and how all of our appetizers took as long or longer than the entrees. (Yes, even a well-done steak.)

I offered to bring extra bread, and I repeated their order again. They decided on entrees only and extra bread.

I brought two portions of bread.

Me: “Here you are, our [Restaurant] freshly-baked bread and whipped butter.”

Our bread looks like bread. There is no mistaking for anything else.

The table looked at me aghast and confused like I had messed something up.

Customer #1: “This is bread?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer #2: “So, this is bread?”

Me: “Yes, it is our baked-in-house bread.”

Customer #1: “At [Popular Restaurant] they have [bread], and it’s served with oil. Why is this your bread? It’s not [bread].”

Me: “You are right; it is different bread. I would be happy to bring you olive oil for dipping. Would you like olive oil?”

Customer #1: “No… Are you sure you don’t have [Popular Restaurant]’s bread?”

Okay, if you want their bread, maybe go there?

Me: “Yes, I am sure I don’t. I apologize. Is there anything else I can bring for you at the moment?”

Customer #1: *Filled with disappointment and confusion again* “No…”

Thirty or forty minutes later, a food runner found me with a [filet] in hand.

Food Runner: “Table [number] said they didn’t order this.”

I went up to the table.

Me: “You ordered the [filet], cooked well done, correct?”

Customer #2: “Yes, I want the [filet].”

Me: “Okay. Here is your [filet].”

Customer #2: “No, no, no, that is not the [filet]. It doesn’t have the…”

She then described a completely different steak with other garnishes and sides — sides that we don’t carry.

Me: “I see. I apologize that the [filet] was not what you envisioned; however, this restaurant does not have the meal you described. Would you like to enjoy this meal, or order something else from our menu?”

Customer #2: “Yes. I want the [filet].”

My brain was melting. I felt like I was losing my grip on reality. Was I not communicating properly? Why were this table and I not living in the same reality? What was happening?

Me: “This is the [filet].”

I gestured to the plate in front of her.

Customer #2: “Oh, no… it’s not.”

After a few back-and-forths, she decided she did not want the [filet] or to order anything else. She sat and watched her friend eat her dinner in record time. Chicken wing lady was really hungry.

I dropped off the check and processed the card, easy. When I saw that one of them had finished signing the check, I went back to the table.

Me: “I can take the check presenter if you are all set with it.”

She then handed me her untouched, still folded cloth napkin. To her credit, both were black and rectangular, but there was definitely a texture, weight, and material difference you would immediately notice.

Me: “I can clear this napkin for you, but may I have the check presenter?”

Customer #1: “I just gave it to you.”

She had no malice or anger in her voice. I double-checked, and nope, it was a napkin.

I eventually got the check, and they tipped 15%, which was honestly better than I’d hoped. They left their jacket, and no surprises here, the tags were still on. OF COURSE, they were the type of people who wear things and return them.

The whole thing just left me exasperated and bewildered. It completely drained my social and emotional battery. I felt like Kate McKinnon in the “Saturday Night Live” skit where they reenact “Gaslight”; Will Forte is like, “This is a steak,” and she’s like, “Uh, I’m pretty sure it’s a pineapple.”

Several years ago, I was working on the register at a large department store chain. A woman came to my register. She had a full cart and was on a phone call while she waited in line.

Eventually, she came to the front of the line but remained on the phone, and she didn’t even look in my direction.

Then, the call finally ended.

Customer: “Why didn’t you scan or bag my items?!”

Me: “You didn’t even give them to me. And I didn’t want to interrupt your phone call.”

Customer: “You’re a f****** idiot.”

I finally did get to scan and bag her items. Then…

Customer: “You should compensate me with a discount for being an idiot!”

Me: “I just can’t do that, ma’am.”

She paid full price and walked out, but she walked back in and found a manager, and then they walked to my register.

Customer: “This cashier gave me an attitude and wouldn’t do their job!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I heard the conversation you two had. You’re a liar.”

She stormed out, yelling over her shoulder:

Customer: “I’m calling corporate! I shop here all the time!”

I had never seen her before. And she didn’t call corporate.