This Customer Isn’t As Sharp As The Average Razor

, , , , , , , | Right | January 25, 2018

(I’m working with my manager one day, when a customer comes in with a bag of shaving supply items that he purchased two months ago. We don’t accept returns on items over 15 days, but he won’t leave the store.)

Manager: “Go ahead and do a return. Just make sure the items haven’t been used; the shaving stand should be fine, though.”

Customer: “What do you mean? What if I tried the razor and didn’t like it?”

Me: “We wouldn’t be able to return it because of hygiene concerns.”

Customer: “But I only used the effing thing three times! You can resell them!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take back or resell shaving items that have been used. It’s like with underwear; we wouldn’t be allowed to take back used underwear, because it’s gross.”

(After he argued with me, we found out he used every item he had purchased, and the shaving stand was broken, so we couldn’t return that, either. He left the store and came back the next day with the same items, hoping I wasn’t in, so he could return them.)

Some People Go Dull Quicker Than Knives

, , , , , | Right | September 22, 2017

(I am working on family day when I have a customer come in.)

Customer: “I want a knife that never goes dull.”

Me: “That’s impossible.”

Customer: “Why is it impossible?”

Me: “Because after about 6,000 cuts, which is about six or seven months of using a kitchen knife, it starts to go dull, because the cutting board starts to dull the knife.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I had a kitchen knife that never went dull! You’re just selling us cheap, dollar-store brand knives.”

Me: “Ma’am, we are representing knives that have been around for hundreds of years. These companies have won many innovation awards, and are most commonly used by chefs who work in the culinary industry. Do you mind asking me what happened to your knife that never went dull?”

Customer: “It stopped cutting things after about a year, so I threw it out.”

Me: “…that’s because it went dull.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid; knives don’t go dull!”

(After about ten more minutes of explaining why eventually all knives go dull, she felt the need to call my district manager, who told her the same thing I did. Needless to say, she was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.)

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