(I’m recording a group of 15 year-old rappers.)

Me: “Do you like the way that sounds?”

Rapper: “Yo, can you make me sound like, um… like a maaaaan?”

Me: “Um… I’m not really sure I know what you mean.”

Rapper: “Like, I wanna sound like a big man, ya know?”

Me: “Hrm. Okay, let’s try this…” *I lower the pitch of his vocals a bit* …”like that?”

Rapper: “Yeah! Perfect! Now I sound all strong!”

Me: “The Medic Recordings, how may I help you today?”

Customer: “You know why I’m calling! Can I just come?!”

Me: “Ma’am, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “Oh yes I’m sorry, it’s my son. He’s very sick.”

Me: “Ma’am this is a recording studio. Are you sure you dialed the right number?”

Customer: “WHAT?! The phone book says ‘The Medic’!”

Me: “Uh… it says The Medic Recordings, I believe…”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, I don’t care what you are. I’m coming in, my son has a terrible fever!”

Me: “Ma’am I don’t think we could help you–”

Customer: “JUST BE READY!”

*Click*

(Sure enough, she showed up about fifteen minutes later and was obviously drunk because she had no son nor did she know why she came.)