This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 78

, , , , , , | Right | June 26, 2018

I run a small landscape company. I get a call from a customer whose lawn has been destroyed by grubs.

I go over to her house, and we walk around discussing various issues with the property. Looking at the lawn, it is clearly destroyed, and I ask her who mows it. She tells me she has this guy who cuts a few lawns on the street. I ask why he did not tell her when the grubs first came out so that she could treat them. Her explanation is that he is “just a grass cutter, not a landscaper.”

I take some measurements, and after figuring it out, we sit down and tell her the job will need a good 50 cubic yards of soil, and that I will have to move it around then spread it out. After that, it needs to be york-raked, hand-raked, and hydro-seeded. The cost would be $5,000 plus tax.

She asks how much I will charge to cut the lawn, and I reply $40.

She says that was too much. I explain that if I had been mowing the lawn, I would have seen the grubs, notified her, and treated for them at a cost of under $100.

She says that she does not want to spend the extra $10 a week. I explain that she is not saving $10, as it is going to cost $5,000 to fix the lawn now, but if she had spent the extra $10, it would have taken seventeen years of weekly mowing before she spent the $5,000. All she keeps saying is that she is saving $10.

I finally give up, sign the contract, get the $5,000, and she is happy as she is still “saving” $10 a week.

Got to love stupid people: spend $5,000 to save $10.

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 77
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 76
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 75

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 77

, , , , , , | Right | April 29, 2018

Customer: “Hi. I need to apply for a credit card.”

Me: “May I see your driver’s license?”

(The customer hands me his license and starts making conversation as I begin his application.)

Customer: “I need to get new cards because my daughter messed up my credit. I was a month behind on my bills!”

Me: “Oh, no!”

(I continue with his application, thinking all the time that this is a bad idea. I call our in store credit department with the customer’s referral number.)

Me: “You are approved!”

Customer: “What’s my limit?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 76
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 75
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 74

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 76

, , , , , , | Working | April 26, 2018

(A coworker comes in one morning with a question for me.)

Coworker: “You’re into cars, yeah? Can you tell me what you think? My boyfriend bought a secondhand car on finance — £200 a month for three years — and then he wrote it off two weeks later. The finance company are still demanding money from us every month, and WE DON’T EVEN HAVE THE CAR ANYMORE!”

(Even though I’m not really an expert on car finance, more of a car enthusiast, even I can see the problem.)

Me: “When your boyfriend crashed his car, was he at fault?”

Coworker: “Well, yeah. He spun off into a ditch and ended up upside down in a field.”

Me: “And no one else was involved?”

Coworker: “No, he was just going too fast.”

Me: “And did the insurance pay out?”

Coworker: “No, they said because he only had, like, third party, or whatever, that they weren’t going to give him anything.”

Me: “Right, so, he buys a second car worth about £7,000, only gets third-party insurance, wrecks it, and now doesn’t understand why he still has to pay back the loan?”

Coworker: “But we DON’T HAVE THE CAR ANYMORE! Why do we have to keep paying if we DON’T HAVE THE CAR?”

(There was no convincing her. The finance company were screwing them, and she was going to let them take her boyfriend to court.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 75
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 74
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 73

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 76

, , , , , | Right | April 2, 2018

(Financial institution contact center work puts you in touch with some of the crème de la crème, intelligence-wise.)

Client: “Yes, I need to transfer money into my account.”

Me: “And how were you making the transfer?”

Client: “Cash.”

Me: “You want to do a cash deposit over the phone?”

Client: “Yeah, PNC allows you to take photos of checks and send them in for deposit.”

Me: “So, you want to send us a photo of some cash and honor that as a deposit.”

Client: “Yeah, can you do that?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 75
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 74
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 73

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 75

, , , , | Right | February 26, 2018

(I work as a phone banker, specifically dealing with credit cards. I get an interesting call from a younger woman, asking about why her purchase isn’t going through.)

Customer: “Why isn’t my charge going through?”

Me: “The transaction you’re trying to run is for $2,000; you only have a credit limit of $300.”

Customer: “You’re telling me I can’t charge more than $300? What’s the point of a credit card if I can’t go over the credit limit?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 74
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 73
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 72
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 71

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