I call to make an eye appointment for my husband and myself at a new practice.

Receptionist #1: “Okay, and his name?”

Me: “Jonathan. J-O-N—”

Receptionist #1: “Okay. And his last name?”

Me: “[Last Name].”

Our last name is not common and definitely not American. I often have to spell it for people, so I automatically give the first three letters before she cuts me off to ask for the rest of his information.

Receptionist #1: “Okay, you’re set for Friday at 3:00 and 3:30. See you soon!”

Friday arrives and we approach check-in. The receptionist cannot find our information.

Receptionist #1: “Are you sure it was here?”

Me: “Yes. The phone number here is [number I called], right?”

Receptionist #1: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, it’s in my call log that I called here on—”

Receptionist #1: “I’m sorry, you’re not in our system.”

Husband: “How can that be? We have the confirmation email. ‘Dear Mr. [Last Name]…’”

Receptionist #2: “What’s wrong?”

Receptionist #1: “They said they made an appointment, but it isn’t here.”

Receptionist #2: “Can I see your ID and insurance?”

My husband hands over his cards.

Receptionist #2: “Oh, here. See, whoever set this up in the system spelled it wrong. In here it’s ‘JAHNOTHON’ [Last Name].”

Receptionist #1: “Oh. Yeah, when you sign up, your information has to match your ID.”

Husband: “We did this over the… Oh.”

Receptionist #2: “When was this?”

Me: *Holding out my phone* “I didn’t get their name.”

Receptionist #1: *Blushing* “Oh. Well—”

Receptionist #2: “You’re good to go. Thank you.”

Receptionist #1: *Quietly* “He could have spelled it instead of assuming I would spell it that way.”

I work as a receptionist at a vet’s office. This call I received was from the most dimwitted yet devoted vet receptionist I have ever spoken with.

Receptionist: “Hi. I’m calling about a new client coming into the area, but the previous vet they put down was just ‘[City] vet clinic’, so I’m calling all the vets in [City] to see if they have the records.”

Me: “Okay, well, you know there’s a vet clinic called ‘[City] Vet Clinic’? Would you like their number?”

Receptionist: “Yeah, they’re on my list to call, but if you don’t mind checking your records for me, that would be great!”

I face-palm, take the information, and check the records to entertain myself.

Me: “Nope, we don’t have them in our system.”

Receptionist: “Okay! Thanks!”

After the call, I looked at the caller ID, and she was calling from a vet’s office in Minnesota. We’re in Michigan. But there is a [City] in Minnesota. I did a quick Google search and, yup, there’s a [City] Vet Clinic in Minnesota. She probably wasn’t even calling the right state.

After ten years without a trip to a dentist, I decided to look for a local office after my new job’s insurance kicked in. This conversation happened upon my first phone call to a dentist’s office in the next town over. The nice woman asked me to provide some basic information, and the question of my insurance came up.

I was on break at work at the time and thus hadn’t thought to have my insurance card handy to give her the information. Since I was wearing gloves and my work pants had some odd back pockets, I struggled to fish my wallet out. I felt I was taking a little long, so I decided to break the silence.

Me: “So, how are you doing today?”

There was a long silence. I figured the woman didn’t hear me somehow, and I was willing to just not ask again as my wallet was now in my hand.

Lady: “Oh, were you talking to me?”

Me: “Yeah! How you doin’?”

Lady: *Suddenly very giddy* “Oh! I’m doing good, thank you! How are you?”

The rest of the conversation went normally. I imagine this woman deals with a lot of rude people in her day to day or just isn’t used to being asked such things. Either way, the joy in her voice was enough to make my day.

Several years ago, I worked for a staffing agency as a receptionist. I took a call from someone who needed a job. I offered to make him an appointment to come in and fill out an application, and he said he would just call back later.

The next day, my grandmother passed away, so I was off for a few days in preparation for her funeral and to grieve. I came back on Monday, and my boss told me about a conversation she had with the same man that I had spoken to earlier in the week.

Man: “My wife and I need jobs. When can we come in and fill out an application?”

Boss: “I can schedule you for an appointment for either Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday. Would you like morning or afternoon?”

Man: “Oh, I can’t come in any of those days this week.”

Boss: “Okay, what day works for you next week?”

Man: “Well, I can’t come in any day next week.”

Boss: “Okay, how about the following week?”

Man: “No, I can’t come in any time Monday through Friday. I am available to come in on Saturday or Sunday.”

Boss: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are not open on Saturday or Sunday.”

Man: “You’re not? Can’t you come in on Saturday or Sunday and interview me?”

Boss: “No, sir, I am off on the weekends, and we are closed.”

Man: “So, there’s no one that works in that office that could come in on Saturday or Sunday? I spoke to a young woman the other day on the phone. Can she not come in on one of those days and interview me?”

Boss: “No, sir, those are her days off, as well, and again, we are closed on the weekend.”

Man: “Well, that young girl should come in and interview me on Saturday, then.”

Boss: “No, sir, she cannot. She is going to a funeral on Saturday. She will not be coming in to interview you.”

Man: “She can either come before the funeral or after the funeral. I do not understand why I cannot get an interview on Saturday or Sunday.”

Boss: “Are you currently working? Is that why you are unable to come through the week? Or is it transportation issues that would not allow you to come in through the week?”

Man: “No, I am not working anywhere, and I have transportation. Can the girl come in? It would only take a few minutes of her time.”

Boss: “No, sir, she will not be coming in on Saturday or Sunday to interview you. If you are not available to interview through the week, then I’m afraid we are not interested.”

Man: “Can’t you make an exception this one time?”

Boss: “No, sir, we do not make exceptions here. We have policies and rules to follow. As I said we are not interested; please try another agency.”

Man: “No, I want you to make an exception for me.”

My boss hung up on him.

He did not call back.

I wanted to start therapy to try to talk through some things that I’ve been dealing with. I found someone who took my insurance and had an opening in the next week.

On the morning of my appointment, someone from the office called. 

Office: “We need to reschedule your appointment for today. [Doctor] is overbooked and can’t take any new patients this week. We have [date two weeks from now].”

Me: “Oh. Yeah, okay, I understand.”

Office: “Great! See you then!”

Two weeks went by without a word. Then, on the morning of my appointment, they called again. 

Office: “We need to reschedule your appointment for today. [Doctor] is overbooked and can’t take any new patients this week. We have [date three weeks from now].”

Me: “Oh. Well, is anyone else available sooner? I—”

Office: “No, only [Doctor] is taking new patients. Do you want that appointment?”

Me: “Yeah, I’ll take it.”

Office: “Okay, sounds good. See you then!”

If you’re guessing what happened on the morning of my third first-appointment, you’re right. They called again.

Office: “We need to reschedule your appointment for today. [Doctor] is overbooked and can’t take any new patients this week. We have [date one month from now].”

Me: “You know, I’m just going to cancel.”

Office: “We really don’t advise that. We—”

Me: “You have cancelled my intake appointment three times because [Doctor] is overbooked. It’s clear that you’re overwhelmed and I’m just not going to be seen anytime soon. Thank you for your time, but I will not be rescheduling.”

Office: “Okay, good luck getting care somewhere else when you act like that.”

Me: “Excuse me? Who—”

She hung up without answering. I received an email saying I was dismissed from the practice for my behavior and lack of cooperation with the office staff. I feel like I’m better off looking elsewhere.