Their Disbelief Has Been Suspended

, , , , , | Right | June 13, 2018

(I work in an office where we regulate and assist realtors in business, and they pay us for their memberships to different services. The billing cycle has been the same for at least fifteen years. They are given ten days to pay, beyond which point their membership becomes suspended for a month, then finally terminated. Throughout this process we fairly spam them with notices and alerts to make sure they know what is happening. Still, my day is filled with this type of call. This particular customer calls me after we’ve sent out the seventh and final notice.)

Me: “Thank you for calling.” *I do my standard greeting on the phone*

Customer: “Yeah, my account isn’t working.”

Me: *knowing full well why* “Okay, let me go ahead and look up your account.”

(I look him up and see he indeed owes two sets of payments, and has now been charged late fees after the two-week grace period.)

Me: “Okay, sir, it seems that your memberships were due, and as they have not yet been paid, your account was suspended.”

Customer: “No, you all said I had until the end of the month to pay.”

Me: “Well, yes, at the end of the month we have to terminate you, so you have until the end of the month before you lose your membership. However, as it says on your invoices, you have until the 10th to pay before late fees are assigned and your account is suspended. It is now the 21st.”

Customer: “Yeah, I saw that, but you didn’t tell me you would turn off my f***ing account so I can’t use it!”

Me: *unsure what to say to that* “I’m sorry; we thought saying, ‘Your account will be suspended,’ would convey that.”

Customer: “You need to change your invoice. The word ‘suspended’ doesn’t make any sense! And I can’t believe you are making me pay a late fee! I’ve been a realtor for 25 years with you, and this s*** is f****** ridiculous”

Me: *at this point his belligerence has made me cut to the chase* “We gave you a month and half to pay, emailed you seven times, put it on our social media pages, our website, and added a pop up to the system that made you scroll down and click, ‘I understand,’ before it would go away. The due date hasn’t changed for at least 15 years, and you’ve been paying on the same date, so I’m not sure why this time you would have forgotten when they were due.”

Customer: *long pause* “F****** can’t believe this!” *hangs up on me*

(Sometimes I’m frightened at the thought that these people are handling such huge, life-changing transactions for people!)

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All Rent Out Of Shape

, , , , | Working | May 29, 2018

(I am 18 and moving three hours away to work at my grandpa’s business for a year before going overseas for University and then coming back to work at Grandpa’s. I am buying an apartment, and planning to have it rented out while I’m overseas. Therefore, it will be easier to have the apartment in both my name and my mum’s, so she can handle tenants.)

Agent: “So, you want to buy and then list it for rent?”

Me: “Buy it now. But we’re not renting it out right now; we want to list it available for rent a year later.”

Agent: “So, you don’t want to list it for rent? Why are you asking about renting?”

Me: “I’m asking about renting because we do want to have it rented out later.”

Agent: “So, you want to list it for rent, but tell potential tenants they can move in next year?”

Me: “No, we are not listing it for rent now. We are asking about the process of listing for rent so we can list it later.”

Agent: “Do you want to list it for rent or not?”

Me: “Forget it. We are going to just buy now. No rent.”

Agent: “All right. Just buy. No wonder you need your mom on the deed, as well; you’re clueless.”

Me: “…”

Agent: “Ask your mom to come back and confirm things. Don’t come alone next time.”

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Taxing Faxing, Part 22

, , , | Right | March 9, 2018

(I work as an admin at a real estate office, and we often get documents faxed to us. On this particular day, though, I check the fax, and someone’s medical records have been faxed to us. It’s not anyone related to the company, and being trained in medical privacy laws from my previous job, I immediately call the facility the records came from and tell them what happened.)

Woman: “Oh! I’m so sorry. I don’t know how that happened.”

Me: “It’s fine; I just wanted to make sure you knew so you could get them to the right person.”

Woman: “Okay, well, do you think you can fax us back the records?”

Me: *confused* “I could. Do you guys not have them anymore?”

Woman: “No, we have them. But if you fax them back to us, that way you won’t have them anymore.”

Me: *trying really hard not to laugh* “That’s… That’s really not how that works.”

Woman: “It’s not? What?”

Me: “No. You know how you faxed over the documents but still have the originals? That’s what would happen if I faxed them back over; you’d just get a copy of what I sent you. How about I just shred them?”

(She agreed but still didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. Here’s hoping everyone’s medical records got to where they needed to be.)

Taxing Faxing, Part 2017
Taxing Faxing, Part 21
Taxing Faxing, Part 20

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The High Cost Of Housing

, , , , | Working | January 27, 2018

(I am looking for a new house and decide to enquire with a new set of houses being built locally.)

Me: “Hi, I was wondering if you could give me some information on your houses. I may be interested in buying.”

Worker: “I’m sorry. We aren’t accepting new residents at the moment.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Worker: *looking shifty* “I’m really sorry, sir.”

Me: “No, it’s all right—”

Worker: *leaning down* “I genuinely am sorry for the inconvenience—”

(A small siren sounds and she runs for a door behind her. I assume she pressed a panic alarm. I’m shocked enough that I stand there for a few seconds, looking around, wondering what’s happening. A security guard appears and walks up to me shaking his head. He walks by and leans over the desk. The siren stops and he turns to me.)

Guard: “Sorry about that. She’s my sister-in-law, and she’s high as a f****** kite. Probably best to try again next week.”

(He escorted me out and I agreed to come back later. When bumped into him again, the guard told me that he reported the worker and she was promptly dismissed. It pretty much ruined his relationship with his family, but he seemed quite happy about it. I ended up getting a house, and I move in next month.)

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Real Estate Just Got Real

, , , , , | Hopeless | January 19, 2018

(I’m a property manager. I’m showing a house for rent to a young couple. Having just been in the house to unlock and check it over, I cringe a little when I see the couple pull up and get out of their car. The man is very clearly wearing a collar that indicates he is a priest or pastor of some kind. I’m an atheist and don’t have a lot of good experiences with religious people, plus, I’m well aware of what the inside of the house looks like. They greet me very warmly, take their adorable toddler out of the backseat, and start commenting on how nice the street is.)

Preacher: “Shall we go inside? It’s in a great location, only a few blocks from my church! We’re so excited to finally take over our own church; our last one was a challenge.”

Me: “Uh, yes, but I have to warn you, it’s currently being used as a share house for a few university students.”

Wife: *laughs* “We’re no strangers to a bit of mess!”

(We walk inside the house and I brace myself for impact. Obviously the occupants of the house are an eclectic bunch, because in the lounge-room there is some kind of Wiccan altar set up, and nailed above the door is a Jewish star. Just inside one of the rooms there are mannequins set up with drag costumes hanging on them, several pictures of two young men dressed in said costumes, along with pictures of those two young men out of drag, kissing. The couple says nothing about any of this. They ask me about school districts, local shops, and other mundane questions about parking and ceiling fans. I relax more and more as they talk, and eventually they glance at each other and start laughing.)

Preacher: “Ma’am, if you don’t mind me saying, you walked in here as nervous as a lizard on a hot road.”

Wife: *still laughing* “Did you think we were going to flip out?”

Me: “Well, I wasn’t sure how you were going to react to all this. I mean, it is a lot…”

Preacher: *points at the Star of David and addresses his daughter* “What’s that, honey?”

Little Girl: “Star of David! Like Aunty’s necklace! And look, Daddy: those boys have pretty dresses! They’re in love!”

Preacher: “They sure do!”

Little Girl: “They gonna get married?”

Preacher: “I hope they can soon!”

(While the couple ended up going with a different house closer to their church, I will never forget the faith in humanity they restored for me that day. I feel like they are what Christians are supposed to be. I still see them regularly; their church rents a few of my houses as women’s safe havens and a halfway house for homeless in our area!)

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