A few years ago, we decided to bite the bullet and start paying a mortgage instead of someone else’s mortgage. We contacted a few reputable estate companies with a long list of our requirements. This would be our first time buying and we’d been planning what we wanted our dream house to look like.

One company’s agent requested we send her a text message and supplied her number, and then she told me I should resend our list of requirements as a WhatsApp message since it was so long.

The next communication I received from her was being added to a group with a few hundred other people, and she started spamming the group with several MLM pitches. She was involved with everything from Tupperware to Avon.

I was pissed off. I am very conscious of my privacy. I absolutely hate bulk emails where my email address was being shared with that person’s entire phonebook, as I know a lot of data mining happens and these details get sold off to spammers and less reputable companies.

I was considering simply leaving the group and blocking the estate agent, but the longer I thought about it, the more I thought about how it reflected badly on the company. She was creating the impression that being an estate agent for this company obviously didn’t pay enough to survive on, but she was also abusing the information given to her by people assumed to be financially secure enough to want to buy a house. I sent an email to head office explaining how she poisoned my perception of their company, but I didn’t expect a reply.

Instead, I received a call from the manager, not of that branch, but the top of the management chain, who apologised and said this wasn’t the image they wanted to create. The manager told me the estate agent would be reprimanded.

Soon after that, I was suddenly removed from the MLM shilling group and blocked by the agent. I received a lackluster not-even-an-apology email from her manager who just said they didn’t know how they could find us a home without any requirements.

I was done with this by then and just never responded.

This happens when I’m around fifteen. My family is looking to move into a new house and are looking at some options. We’re looking over a lovely house in the country that has a fantastic view of a nearby river. Despite the fact that it would have very poor Internet and the river has been known to flood, my mom seems to be warming up to it.

Suddenly, though, we round a corner of the house and she SHRIEKS and simultaneously jumps about ten feet backward while shoving me forward. We all look at her like she’s lost her mind.

Her defense?

Mom: “I just saw a huge snake!”

So much for parental protection instincts!

I’m planning to move from South Carolina to North Carolina and have reached the point where I need to look at houses in person. My brother already lives near my destination, so I’m going to stay with him while looking at houses with my realtor, whom I’ve only spoken to on the phone so far.

I’m looking for something fairly remote — as I put it, “Far enough from the neighbors that nobody will mind if I sing at the top of my voice in the middle of the night, and far enough from the road that my cat can play outside without any danger of getting run over.”

Two days before I leave for my brother’s, I call my realtor to plan our itinerary.

Me: “I’d like to start with [list of addresses]. They’re fairly close together and all looked good online.”

Realtor: “Okay, I can schedule those for [Day I plan to drive to North Carolina].”

Me: “That works, but I’ll be pretty drained from four hours on the road. Rather than both of us driving to each house, can I meet you at your office and both go in your car? I have a terrible sense of direction and I just don’t think I’ll be up to driving to three unfamiliar locations that afternoon.”

I have GPS on my phone, but I get very nervous if I don’t know the way to a destination ahead of time, and I have trouble following spoken directions, so I only ever use it as an emergency backup.

Realtor: “People don’t ask me that very often, but yes, we can do that.”

We talk a bit longer, and I hang up. I have a feeling that I’ve messed up somehow, but can’t put my finger on it at first. Then, I ask my mom:

Me: “Hang on. Did I just ask a man I barely know to drive me to three of the most isolated houses I could find in an unfamiliar state, specifically because I’ll be tired, out-of-it, and incapable of finding my way to or home from them on my own?”

It honestly hadn’t occurred to me until I hung up that that might be dangerous, especially since I’m a woman. My brother ended up taking me to view the houses, and the realtor was a perfectly nice guy, but I don’t think that conversation did me any favors in the “convincing Mom I’ll be okay living on my own” area.

This story happened a few years ago. A friend refers me to his mother, a real estate agent who wants a new website for her business. I call her to set up an appointment.

Client: “So, what is your expertise in real estate?”

Me: “I’ve done two real-estate websites in the past, and they’ve been quite successful. I can provide you with a searchable database of listings where buyers can filter by price and other factors, as well as a homepage with featured listings, your bio, and anything else you’d like to include.”

Client: “Yes, but have you ever sold a house before?”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Why not?”

Me: “Because I’m not a real estate agent. I’m a web developer.”

Client: “So how do you expect to do a website for me if you don’t know anything about being a realtor?”

Me: “I know enough to build a website with a listing database which you can very easily populate with descriptions, photos, and any other info you wish to provide the buyers with. I can also provide other tools, such as a mortgage calculator and a lead-tracking system that allows potential buyers to contact you with listings they are interested in.”

Client: “I really don’t think you know what you’re doing. I think I’m going to have to pass and find someone who knows how to sell a house.”

Later, I discovered she had finished her website. On Geocities. Yellow background. 50pt font. Seemingly designed by a ‘real’ real estate agent…

In the past few months, the real estate market has been crazy in my area. People being out of work and low-interest rates have brought around real estate investors looking to buy houses on the cheap and then rent them out.

My husband and I decided to take advantage of the lower rates and scored a sweet refinance deal. The following day, I get this call.

Caller: “Good afternoon, Ms. [My Name]. I’m [Caller] from [Company]. We’re looking to buy investment properties in your area and we’d really like to help you out. I understand you still owe [amount] on your home?”

Me: “Not anymore. We just refinanced.” 

Caller: “Oh… um… Was it for more than [amount]?” 

Me: “Oh, yeah. Looking forward to upgrading the place.” 

Caller: “Well… Um…” *Audibly shuffles papers around* “Was it more than six months ago?” 

Me: *Laughing* “We closed on it yesterday.” 

Caller: “Oh…” *Long pause* “I… um… don’t think we can help you, then.” 

Me: “Didn’t ask for your help.” 

The guy didn’t even say anything; he just sighed and hung up the phone.