Driven Two Distraction

| Tampa, FL, USA | Working | March 1, 2013

(I am looking to buy a house and have hired a real estate agent to help me find what I’m looking for. This happens after we’ve looked at the first house on the list, and are getting ready to leave for the second.)

Agent: “Okay, next on the list is [address].”

Me: “Let me just get that in my GPS real quick.”

Agent: “You don’t need your GPS. You can just follow behind me.”

Me: “My following skills are questionable.”

Agent: “Not a problem! My driving skills are questionable.”

Me: “…touché.”

America’s Favorite Pastime

| Bloomington, IN, USA | Right | December 16, 2011

(I’m a leasing agent for a local management company. A large percentage of our leasees are college students. I am showing a home to 5 students. On the second floor, there are two bathrooms back to back.)

Me: “Here’s the 2nd bathroom.”

Student: “Can we knock the wall down between the two bathrooms?”

Me: “Um, no. I can tell you now that the owner will not do that.”

Student: “Aww, come on. You should at least ask!”

Me: “Why do you want to knock down the wall anyway?”

Student: “So we can do GROUP POOP!”

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You’d Better Throw In The Cars, Too

| | Right | January 5, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling **** Realtors, this is ****, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m interested in 734 **** Street. Could you tell me more information about it?”

Me: “You must mean 732 **** Street?”

Customer: “No, 734.”

Me: “Does the house have a sign in the yard that says **** Realtors?”

Customer: “No, but the one next door does. I figured I’d just call you guys since you sell houses.”

Me: “Has it occurred to you that somebody probably lives in 734 **** Street?”

Customer: “Well, yeah, but can’t you just, like…give it to me?”

Me: “You want me to call the family and tell them that they have to leave their house because I’m selling it to you?”

Customer: “Yeah, that would be good. And can I move in by Thursday? I’m all packed.”

(It took a good 15 minutes to explain to him that I couldn’t just sell random peoples’ homes.)

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