Rental Mental

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2019

(My husband gets a great promotion but it requires us to move to another state. I begin the process of selling our old home while my husband is looking for a new home. We both know a lot about buying and selling a home and have done so multiple times, so I know where and how to advertise. I have just listed our house for sale on the real estate websites when I get an email from a gentleman.)

Client: “Saw the pics and it looks beautiful.”

(He asks about the school district and the age of the appliances, condition of the roof, etc. Everything looks great.)

Me: “Would you like to schedule a time to come to see it?”

Client: “Yes, I would also like to know if you would be interested in renting it to me.”

Me: “No, I am not a landlord nor do I have any desire to be. The house is for sale only, as clearly stated in the listing.”

Client: “Well, I really need a place I can rent. I am a single father of three girls and we really need a place to live. I can pay about $900 a month. I really want them to stay in this school district.”

Me: “I sympathize with you, but I cannot rent it or I would be homeless. I need the money for the sale of this house to pay off the mortgage and then use the excess as the down payment to get a mortgage on the house I am buying in the state I am moving to.”

Client: “Please, my kids and I really need a nice home.”

Me: “So do my kids. I will not move them into a car so that you can have a nice home.”

(A few days later I get another email from him.)

Client: “I have a relative that can help; would you take payments?”

Me: “I will take one payment. If you want to do multiple ones, call a bank.”

(I blocked his email after that. What is sad and annoying is that he wasn’t the only one contacting me wanting to know if I would rent to them. If I have a house up for sale, it’s obvious that I am trying to sell it, else I would advertise it as a rental.)

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Might Want To Fold Out A Chair For This One

, , , , , | Right | March 22, 2019

My family has been getting ready to move, so we start auctioning online a lot of things we find around the house that are still in good condition. The buyers, however, have been a huge pain, for the most part. We get a few good ones, but they’re the minority, unfortunately.

We arrange a date and time, and they either don’t show, or they show up hours or even days later without even an apology. Sometimes my parents have to go out of town for something or another, leaving me to wait for these errant buyers for a few days, messing with my sleep schedule and leaving me tired and cranky.

One, however, stood far above the rest. The buyer arranged to show sometime before noon. I had a pet-sitting job I had to get up early for that same day, so after I got back I waited for the buyer to show so I could get in a nap. He finally showed up at half-past six, and he was smoking right on our doorstep without a care in the world. Everyone in my family has asthma, and he clearly wasn’t paying attention to how uncomfortable the smell of the smoke was making me. I had to drench the entryway with air freshener and leave all the windows open for hours, and I was still coughing long after he had gone. And what was all this mess for? A $7 folding chair.

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This Time, It’s Personal

, , | Right | January 19, 2019

(I’m a property manager at a small real estate agency. I generally work at the front desk, so I also take calls in. My bosses are of retiring age and are VERY hard workers; they work ten hours a day, seven days a week, and some public holidays. They have finally gotten a vacation: a week-long trip to China. I am instructed to take all calls for them and just pass the calls along when they get back, etc.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Realty Agency], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Client: “Hi, I’m looking for [Boss].”

Me: “I’m sorry, [Boss] is currently on leave and is not available right now. I am the agency’s property manager, so I may be able to help you, however. If not, I’ll be—“

Client: *irate* “No, I need to speak to her directly! Put me on the phone with her!”

Me: “Unfortunately, as I mentioned, she is currently on leave and won’t be back until Tuesday next week. I can leave a message for her if you’d like to leave a name and message.”

Client: “I sent an email to her two hours ago and she still hasn’t responded!”

Me: “Ah, I see. Due to her staying in another country, she has notified me that she will only be checking her emails once every day due to a lack of Internet connection.”

Client: “Well, then, you need to check her email, please. It’s from [Company]!”

Me: “Sorry, was that sent to her personal email or her business email?”

Client: “Personal, obviously!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have access to her private emails. She’ll have to call you back.”

Client: “You don’t have access to her private emails? Well, that’s a bit stupid.”

(The client then hung up.)

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What On Earth Are You Looking At?

, , , | Right | October 8, 2018

(My family owns a small real estate company. About a year and a half before this story takes place, my family’s company merged with a bigger, more well-known company, and therefore, no longer exists. One day, my mother answers this call.)

Mother: “[Bigger Company]. This is [Mother]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “[Bigger Company]? I thought this was the number for [Old Company]!”

Mother: “We merged with them about a year and a half ago, sir. [Old Company] no longer exists, but we are still the same people. Can I be of assistance?”

Caller: “NUH-UH! I can tell you, I am sitting here, looking at [address] right now, and there is an [Old Company] sign in front of it with this number!

(This man continues to insist, so my mother takes down his contact info and says she will investigate it. She calls her coworkers and asks if there is any possibility they have that address for sale with an [Old Company] sign still there. One of her coworkers even tells her he drives past there a couple times a week and there’s no sign there at all! Finally, she calls the man back.)

Mother: “Sir, I have done some investigation, and there is absolutely no [Old Company] sign still at that address.”

Caller: “Yes, there is! I’m looking at it right now on Google Earth!”

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Their Disbelief Has Been Suspended

, , , , , | Right | June 13, 2018

(I work in an office where we regulate and assist realtors in business, and they pay us for their memberships to different services. The billing cycle has been the same for at least fifteen years. They are given ten days to pay, beyond which point their membership becomes suspended for a month, then finally terminated. Throughout this process we fairly spam them with notices and alerts to make sure they know what is happening. Still, my day is filled with this type of call. This particular customer calls me after we’ve sent out the seventh and final notice.)

Me: “Thank you for calling.” *I do my standard greeting on the phone*

Customer: “Yeah, my account isn’t working.”

Me: *knowing full well why* “Okay, let me go ahead and look up your account.”

(I look him up and see he indeed owes two sets of payments, and has now been charged late fees after the two-week grace period.)

Me: “Okay, sir, it seems that your memberships were due, and as they have not yet been paid, your account was suspended.”

Customer: “No, you all said I had until the end of the month to pay.”

Me: “Well, yes, at the end of the month we have to terminate you, so you have until the end of the month before you lose your membership. However, as it says on your invoices, you have until the 10th to pay before late fees are assigned and your account is suspended. It is now the 21st.”

Customer: “Yeah, I saw that, but you didn’t tell me you would turn off my f***ing account so I can’t use it!”

Me: *unsure what to say to that* “I’m sorry; we thought saying, ‘Your account will be suspended,’ would convey that.”

Customer: “You need to change your invoice. The word ‘suspended’ doesn’t make any sense! And I can’t believe you are making me pay a late fee! I’ve been a realtor for 25 years with you, and this s*** is f****** ridiculous”

Me: *at this point his belligerence has made me cut to the chase* “We gave you a month and half to pay, emailed you seven times, put it on our social media pages, our website, and added a pop up to the system that made you scroll down and click, ‘I understand,’ before it would go away. The due date hasn’t changed for at least 15 years, and you’ve been paying on the same date, so I’m not sure why this time you would have forgotten when they were due.”

Customer: *long pause* “F****** can’t believe this!” *hangs up on me*

(Sometimes I’m frightened at the thought that these people are handling such huge, life-changing transactions for people!)

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