(The morning show host at my radio station has seen that Howard Stern movie one too many times, and as such, believes the key to being a great radio announcer is being hated. He goes out of his way to be as unlikable as possible, antagonizing anyone he can: listeners, coworkers, the boss. One day, I come into work to see that he’s cleaned out his office.)

Me: “Hey, [Morning Guy], why is your office cleaned out?”

Morning Guy: “I just got a job at [Other Radio Station]. When the boss comes in today, I’m going to give my one month’s notice. I have no doubt that they’re going to turn around and fire me as soon as I give it in.”

Me: “What makes you say that?”

Morning Guy: “Because they did it to [Former Coworker].”

Me: “Dude, that was different. [Former Coworker] was a jerk, and he turned into a total a**-hole after he turned in his notice. But you… the boss loves you, for some reason.”

Morning Guy: “Nope. I’m a much bigger a**-hole than [Former Coworker] ever was. Just you wait and see. As soon as I give my notice, they’ll have security escorting me to the door.”

(Later that day, the boss comes in, and the morning guy goes in to deliver the news. The boss closes the door, they have a long meeting, and the morning guy eventually comes out, just stunned.)

Me: “So, are you fired?”

Morning Guy: “No…”

Me: “Then what happened?”

Morning Guy: “They offered me a raise to stay.”

(He went back to his empty office, just flabbergasted, muttering about Howard Stern and how the boss is supposed to hate him. Never have I seen a man work so hard to be unlikable, and fail!)

(This is a discussion I have with a listener on my station’s Facebook page.)

Listener: “You’re the worst radio DJ ever, and I’m going to do everything it takes to get you fired!”

Me: “In that case, you’ll need my boss’s phone number, so you complain about me directly to him. You can reach him at [Head Office’s phone number].”

Listener: “NO!  Complaining on Facebook is easier!”

(I am selling discount coupons for clients at our radio station for advertising dollars. I am working the window helping a regular when the phone rings. When there’s only one person there [me, this day], our policy is to answer the phone and then continue with the customer at the window. The customer I’m helping is a regular and doesn’t mind. This is the phone call:)

Me: “[Radio Station], this is [My Name].”

Caller: “Sshbsjrfjfj.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “Dhwrfkgh.”

Me: “I beg your pardon; one more time please?”

Caller: “Hdkdhd.”

Me: “I’m so sorry about that. How can I fix that?”

Caller: “WHY AREN’T YOU PLAYING THE CHURCH SERVICES?”

(I finally understand the issue.)

Me: “We play the services on Sunday morning from 8:45-11:30.”

Caller: “Yes, HELLLOO! WHY AREN’T YOU PLAYING THEM?!”

Me: “It’s currently 11:45 and today is Saturday.”

Caller: “I want to hear the church services!”

Me: “Tune in tomorrow between 8:45 and 11:30.”

Caller: “Why aren’t they on now?”

Me: “We play them on Sunday, tomorrow, from 8:45-11:30. You can tune in then.”

Caller: “I know the owner and I’m calling him if you don’t play them now.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll put them on right away.”

Caller: “Was that so hard?” *click*

(It was then 11:55 and we stop selling coupons at noon. I finished the regular customer and closed up shop. As I was putting the phone into weekend voicemail mode I saw the number from the caller on the caller ID. I knew what it was about and chuckled. When I got to work on Monday, I found out that she called and left ten voicemails on Saturday and four more on Sunday. She wanted to know why we changed the days of the week.)

(You work pretty odd hours as a reporter at a small town radio station, being out until really late at night covering events and then up at five am to get the story on the morning news. My boss starts thinking that her boyfriend is going to be the next big thing in radio, and tells me to start training him. So, his first night, we’re out covering a council meeting until 11 pm. When the meeting finishes, he turns to me.)

Boss’s Boyfriend: “Now let me get this straight. You’re going to be up at five am to write this up and get it on the morning news.”

Me: “Yup.”

Boss’s Boyfriend: “And how many times a week do you do this?”

Me: “Once or twice. This week, we’ll be doing it three times.”

Boss’s Boyfriend: “Yeah. This isn’t going to work for me.”

(And that’s the last I heard about the boss’s boyfriend being the next big thing in radio.)

I do the morning show at a radio station. Because we’re in a small town and have a small staff, we close our offices at noon. I give away tickets to a concert that night, and tell the winner that she has to be at the station before noon to pick up the tickets. She says that she can’t make it by noon, but can be there shortly after noon, and asks that we stay open late to accommodate her. I ask her how late she’ll be, and she says just a few minutes after 12:00…12:15 at the latest. Since I can wait around a few minutes, I say we’ll stay open late for her.

12:15. She’s not here yet. 1:00 pm. She’s not here yet. 2:00. She’s not here yet. 3:00. I’m still waiting for her. I’ve also been at work since four am and hadn’t eaten anything all day. I decide to close up for a few minutes and run across the street to the store to grab something. I come back at 3:10 to find an angry note taped to the door. Sure enough, it’s from our contest winner, calling us a bunch of lying SOBs for saying we’d stay open late for and then not doing so, and calling us various other nasty names.

Ever since then, I’ve made no more exceptions for contest winners who’ll be “just a few minutes late.” If you can’t make it by closing time, tough.