(My radio station decides to take on a work experience student from the local high school, and I am put in charge of him. One of the tasks I give him is to go through all the posters and flyers we’re given for upcoming events, and type them up into a comprehensive community calendar for the announcers. I give him an old copy of the community calendar to use as a style guide. Not more than two minutes after I give him this job, he comes to me in a huff, and drops the old copy of the community calendar on my desk.)

Student: “I don’t need to do this. It’s already done.”

Me: “No, it’s not. That’s an old version. You need to take off the old events and add the new ones.”

Student: “I said I don’t need to do this. It’s obviously already done.”

Me: “Okay then. If it’s done, email it to all the announcers.”

Student: “I can’t do that. I don’t have a copy on the computer.”

Me: “How do you think you’ll get a copy on the computer?”

Student: “Uhh… type it up?”

Me: “There you go. Now, go type it up, take the old events off the calendar, and add the new ones while you type.”

(The student sighs and walks away. Rather than go back to his computer, he goes into my boss’s office and closes the door. After a few minutes, the boss comes storming out of her office and over to me.)

Boss: “How DARE you put him to work doing such a menial task! We didn’t hire that student to type things up! We hired him so he could do fun stuff! Only put him to work doing fun stuff!”

(The boss and the student’s idea of ‘fun stuff’ was to put him in charge of the station’s Facebook page. He did nothing but play FarmVille until he flunked out of the work experience program.)

(One particularly cold winter morning, I wake up to discover my car wouldn’t start. So, I bundle up nice and warm and make the half-hour walk to work. As I am settling in at my desk, I get a call from my coworker.)

Coworker: “Yeah, hey, could you cover for me? I’m not coming in to work today.”

Me: “Why?”

Coworker: “It’s so cold, man. My car won’t start.”

Me: “So? My car wouldn’t start either. I walked. You can too!”

Coworker: “But, dude, it’s so cold and so far!”

Me: “What are you talking about? I live on the other side of town. You live across the street!”

(Sure enough, I look out my window, and lock eyes with my coworker, who is looking at me through his kitchen window. He quickly closes the blinds.)

Coworker: “I SAID I’M NOT COMING IN TODAY BECAUSE MY CAR WON’T START!” *click*

(I work at a radio station. The station manager likes to keep her desk close to the control room to be in on the action. One day, the morning show host is on the phone to a manager in another department, and has had to hang up the phone rather quickly to do his cut-in.)

Announcer: “The Boss, Bruce Springsteen here on [Radio Station’s Name]…”

(The announcer finishes his cut-in. When he’s done, the station manager jumps up from her desk and comes running into the control room.)

Manager: “How DARE you call [Other Manager] ‘the boss’! I AM YOUR BOSS AND YOU NEVER FORGET THAT!”

Announcer: “I wasn’t talking about [Other Manager]. I was on the air. I was talking about Springsteen.”

Manager: “Why would you call Springsteen the boss?!”

Announcer: “‘The Boss’ is a fairly common nickname for Springsteen.”

Manager: “Oh. Well, he’s not your boss either! I AM, AND YOU NEVER FORGET THAT!”

(I work at a radio station. This caller is live on the air.)

Me: “Hello! What would you like to hear?”

Teenage Girl: “Fireflies!”

Me: “By Owl City?”

Teenage Girl: “Woah! I hear my voice!”

Me: “Yeah, you’re on the air.”

Teenage Girl: “Molly! If you can hear this, I’m so totally sorry about kissing your brother!”

Me: “Uh…”

Teenage Girl: “Are you going to play I Like Big Butts or not?”