GPS: Great Practitioners Of Stupidity

, , , , , , | Right | January 3, 2011

Me: “Hello, this is [Taxi Service]. Can I have your pickup address, please?”

Caller: “I don’t know!”

Me: “Well, you will need to tell me some kind of an address.”

Caller: “Why can’t you just ‘GPS’ me?”


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Likely Not A Fan Of Spell Checking

, , , , , , , | Right | November 15, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “I want to return this laptop I bought from you yesterday.”

Me: “Oh, really? Why? Is there a problem with it?”

Customer: “Yes there is! It has witchcraft in it!”

Me: “Witchcraft?”

Customer: “Yes! When I tried to install a program on it, it said it was starting a wizard. Wizards and witchcraft are evil! I don’t know why you would sell such things at a store like this!”

Me: “Ma’am, a ‘wizard’ on a computer is just the name of the program that helps the install process. It makes it quick so that it is like magic, hence the name ‘wizard’.”

Customer: “I don’t care about your make-believe hullabaloo religion! It goes against my beliefs to have anything to do with that type of thing! Now give me my refund so I can be out of this evil place!”

Me: “Sure, ma’am, this way.”

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Stealthy Healthy

, , , , | Right | June 8, 2010

Customer: “You don’t have anything healthy on the menu!”

Me: “Well, the salmon is–”

Customer: “Yuck! No one eats salmon! You people have no healthy options on this menu!”

Me: “The steak is extremely lean and grilled. You can have it with the vegetables, or the salad with no dressing.”

Customer: “Yuck! I hate steak! And I am not having vegetables!”

Me: “The tuna steak is–”

Customer: “Yuck!”

Me: “Or you could try the–”

Customer: “There is nothing healthy on this menu! Give me a bowl of chips. With gravy. And cheese.”

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No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | April 13, 2010

Me: “Welcome, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, what’s the time in the UK now?”

Me: “Its 9:00 pm. They’re ten hours behind.”

Customer: “Oh, so if I call the UK in another half hour, what time will it be?”

Me: “It’ll be 9:30 pm.”

Customer: “You mean if half an hour passes here, it will also be half an hour later there?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: *surprised* “Oh! So, that’s how it works?”

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