Customer: “You don’t have anything healthy on the menu!”

Me: “Well, the salmon is–”

Customer: “Yuck! No one eats salmon! You people have no healthy options on this menu!”

Me: “The steak is extremely lean and grilled. You can have it with the vegetables, or the salad with no dressing.”

Customer: “Yuck! I hate steak! And I am not having vegetables!”

Me: “The tuna steak is–”

Customer: “Yuck!”

Me: “Or you could try the–”

Customer: “There is nothing healthy on this menu! Give me a bowl of chips. With gravy. And cheese.”

Me: “Welcome, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, what’s the time in the UK now?”

Me: “It’s 9:00 pm. They’re ten hours behind.”

Customer: “Oh, so if I call the UK in another half hour, what time will it be?”

Me: “It’ll be 9:30 pm.”

Customer: “You mean if half an hour passes here, it will also be half an hour later there?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: *surprised* “Oh! So, that’s how it works?”

Related:
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
No Fortitude For Longitude

Tourist: “Lady, how about we make a deal? I wanna buy this bottle from you.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. We only have four of the blue ones and they’re not for sale.”

Tourist: “So you’re telling me I can’t buy this?”

Me: “Yes… I know it’s a nice bottle, but we do need it for the water.”

Tourist: “Lady, I don’t think you understand what I’m getting at.”

(The tourist pulls a wad of US money from his wallet.)

Tourist: “I got REAL money here!”