Unfiltered Story #151670

, , , | | Unfiltered | May 20, 2019

Me: “Hi folks, we’re very sorry but our coffee grinder is currently not working, so we are unable to serve coffee for another 2-3 hours while we wait for the repairman to get it fixed.”
Customer, a female in early 20’s: “So… you can’t do any milkshakes?”
Me: “…”

Unfiltered Story #149613

, , , | | Unfiltered | May 8, 2019

This all happened about a week after the Sydney siege in January 2015While working behind the till, an elderly gentleman comes to my till with a few items to ring up.

Me: Hello sir, how are you today?
Elderly gentleman: I see you guys sell Vegemite. Is it an Australian product?
Me: Yes sir.

As Vegemite is an Australian brand, I am already quite amused by the gentleman.

Elderly Gentleman: You people should stop selling it.

As the gentleman is speaking with a very heavy Australian accent, I get very confused.

Me: Excuse me sir?
Elderly Gentleman: See this ticker?

Shows me a Halal sticker.

Elderly Gentleman: This is Halal approved, which means Kraft (the manufacturer) supports Muslims, which means they support ISIS, which means by selling this, you people are supporting ISIS.

My manager hears what is happening, and knowing I am very outspoken about freedom of religion, comes over.

Manager: Sir, what is the problem?

Elderly gentleman tell him the story.

Manager: We’ll see what we can do.

A Nose For Violence

, , , , , , | | Learning | May 4, 2019

(It’s cold and flu season. Unfortunately, not everyone at my university has the sense to stay home when they’re sick.)

Classmate: “If [Student] blows his nose in the middle of an important sentence one more time, I’m going to break it!”

We’re Sure Magic Mike Tastes Just Fine, Too

, , , , , | | Right | May 3, 2019

(I work in a confectionery store, and in no way do we sell anything to do with “Magic Mike.” An older man has come into the store with a look of determination. He turns this way and that until he throws his arms up and approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey…” *thinks for a moment* “Magic Mike! They’re just so delicious I can’t stop craving them.”

Me: *cough* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Magic Mikes, do you have them?”

Me: “Magic Mike… I… What? I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, come on! I’ve been thinking about them all week; please don’t tell me they’re not here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, are you sure they’re called Magic Mikes?”

Customer: “Yeah, of course, they’re called Mag—“ *sudden realisation* “Oh… Mike and Ikes… Yeah… I’m after Mike and Ikes.”

Me: “That I can get you; I agree they are delicious!”

Customer: “Heh… yeah…”

April Fools: Holiday Special

, , , , | Right | April 1, 2019

(It’s April.)

Customer: “Do you have those Christmas tree ones you had a while ago?”

Me: “No, we only have those around Christmas.”

Customer: “When will you have them back?”

Me: “December.”

Customer: “Oh. Why don’t you have them all the time?”

Me: “Because you’re literally the only person since Christmas to ask for them.”

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