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Will Be Explaining For Days

, , , , , , | Working | March 19, 2021

I have been offered a new full-time role working overnight at another location run by my boss. I have a regular Monday-to-Friday roster, starting at midnight each night. It’s the start of my second week when I arrive at work at 11:30 on Sunday night, only to have the store manager ask me why I am there.

Me: “I’m rostered to start work at midnight.”

Store Manager: “No, you’re not rostered. I had to bring someone else in because you weren’t rostered on tonight.”

Me: “I am on the roster to start at midnight.”

Store Manager: “No, you are rostered to start at midnight Monday night.”

Me: “Can I check on the roster?” 

Store Manager: “No, I can’t get online to access it at the moment.”

I leave, confused because I was told by the franchisee that I would be working Monday to Friday. I check the roster when I get back home and see that I am rostered from 00:00 am to 8:00 am Monday. I call the store manager to let him know.

Store Manager: “Yes, I know you are working from midnight on Monday, but that’s tomorrow; it’s Sunday tonight.”

Me: “But it’s Monday from midnight tonight.”

Store Manager: “No, it’s Sunday night.”

All I could do was call my boss in the morning to ask him to explain to the store manager how days work.

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Good Thing He Saved On The Chicken As He Has A Big Bill On The Way

, , , , , | Right | March 10, 2021

I’m shopping in a supermarket when I see a reduced hot chicken. As I go to grab it, I’m pushed out of the way by a young guy who looks to be eighteen to twenty.

Young Guy: “Haha, stupid b****.”

He walks off laughing with the chicken. I shrug it off when a deli worker calls me over.

Worker: “Hey, I just saw what happened with that guy. I’ve got a fresh batch just out of the oven; I’ll reduce one for you.”

I thanked her and took it, figuring at least it was fresh and hadn’t been sitting for hours. As I was walking home, I was waiting to cross at a set of traffic lights when the young guy from earlier pulled up in a hotted-up car — illegal for someone on their P plates as this guy was — revving his engine.

When the lights changed, he sped around the corner, lost control, and went through a hedge into an empty car park, ripping off his front bumper and seriously damaging his front end. I didn’t hang around to see what happened but couldn’t stop laughing all the way home.

Gotta love Karma.

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Some People Are Just Born For It

, , , , , | Healthy | February 19, 2021

When my nan was still alive, she had a doctor that she had been going to for many years. He was a nice bloke, friendly, and competent at his job.

His name? Doctor Seewright.

His occupation? Optometrist.

You can’t make this stuff up.

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This Concept Should Not Be This Difficult

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2021

We work in a donut kiosk at a service centre. Due to a blackout, none of the fast food shops can cook or sell food. We can, but we can’t open our till or use the register, so we’re using a small box with some change. People are grumpy when they find out they can’t get their choice of food, and that the only food option is us.

Customer #1: “I’ll have [two flavours].”

Me: “Due to the blackout, we can only accept cash. Is that okay?”

Customer #1: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, your total is [total].”

They hand over their card.

Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t use the register due to the blackout.”

Customer #1: “They just told me the same thing over there! Why can’t I use my card anywhere here?”

Me: “There’s a blackout. No one has electricity. We can only accept cash.”

Customer #1: “I don’t have cash.”

Me: “Well, then, you can’t buy doughnuts. Have a good day.”

Another customer makes an order and pays me in cash, which I put in the cash box. A while later, she comes back.

Customer #2: “Um, I know you are only taking cash right now, but I saw that girl—” *points to coworker* “—put the coins under the counter.”

Me: “We’re keeping our cash box out of reach of customers, ma’am.”

Customer #2: “Hmm…”

She wandered away from the counter but took photos of us “hiding” the money. We got a call from our boss the next day after a complaint was made to head office.

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Can’t Find “A” Piece Of Music

, , , , | Right | February 6, 2021

I work in the music and video department of a big box retailer, when CD singles are still a thing. I know my department inside out, can tell you exactly where a particular CD is and how many we have left, and keep up to date with the latest music to ensure I can help my customers.

Customer: “I’m looking for a song, but I don’t know who sings it.”

Me: “That’s okay! I’ll help you figure it out. Do you remember if it was a man or woman singing?”

Customer: “I’m not sure.”

Me: “What type of music was it? Was it dancey or a ballad? Rock or pop? Fast or slow?”

Customer: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “Do you know when it came out?”

Customer: “Not really, no.”

Me: “Was it a solo act or a band?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Do you remember anything about the song at all?”

Customer: “I think it had ‘A’ in the title.”

I spread my hands to indicate the hundreds of CD singles in front of us.

Me: “That could be pretty much any song we have here. Why don’t you come back when you have a bit more information?”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Guess I should’ve been working on my mind-reading skills, instead.

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