Unfiltered Story #93707

, , , | Unfiltered | September 15, 2017

I’m at a dollar store, looking at dog toys. I find a small pig, I want to know if this will wistle each time the dog bite it (which would drive me crazy within 5min) so give it a squeez. To my surprise, it don’t wistle, it’s grunting like a real piggy!
Unfortunalty, a couple passed by at the same time and it went like this:

Him: Oh! Just like you laughing!
Her, angryly: No!

And that’s how the fight started…

(If you are wonderring, I just putted back the toy and slowly backed off…)

I’ll Tell You When You’re Older

, , , , | Related | August 17, 2017

(When I was born, my older sister was initially ecstatic to have a baby sister to play with and dote on. As siblings do, however, we get into fights at times. One day, I snub her like I sometimes do when she attempts to interact normally with me, thinking that she just wants to poke fun at me as usual. This apparently greatly upsets her, as she goes crying to our mom, fed up.)

Sister: *wailing* “Why did you have to give birth to a little sister?”

Mom: “Well, if not a little sister, what did you want?” *thinking that the answer would be a ‘little brother’*

Sister: “Why couldn’t it be… WHY COULDN’T BE IT AN OLDER BROTHER, INSTEAD?”

(My mom had to keep a straight face as she gently explained why it couldn’t be.)

All Manner Of Craziness

, , , , | Related | July 24, 2017

(I’m at a family dinner, for the holiday seasons. We are all at the table, ready to eat, when I notice onions in my plate. I hate them, but resign to just pick them out and pass them to my father and uncles who will gladly take extra. My cousin, 13 years old, who’s sitting beside me, notices and decides to comment. I’m 19 years old.)

Cousin: “[My Name], what are you doing?”

Me: “I don’t like onions; I’m taking them out.”

Cousin: *cringe* “I don’t like them, too, but my parents showed me manners!” *she then proceeds to hold her breath in an attempt to numb the taste and forces herself to eat some*

(Truth be told, parenting never was a strong point in this family. I pretty much raised myself up but I always have had a love for education, etiquette, and protocol — which the rest of the family loathes. So, no one cares about “proper manners,” and she’s really only imposing it on herself. I don’t reply, thinking if it makes her feel great, why not? But, soon enough, I can see the struggle. She looks pretty green, has to take a pause to breathe in and out before taking a bite, and is clearly getting a gag reflex.)

Me: “You know, you look super green. Stop. Nobody cares if you just pass on the onions and not eat them yourself. It’s ok, I swear. Don’t do that to yourself, please.”

Cousin: “No, I’m fine. I have manners, [My Name].”

(She’s having tears forming at this point and won’t listen to me. The rest of the family are being oblivious to the situation. I know what’s coming and distance myself as much as I can from my cousin. I make a last attempt to talk her out of it.)

Me: “[Cousin], look, good manners are important but vomiting on the table is not appropriate, too…”

(She opened her mouth to reply to me, only to empty her stomach all over her plate, table, floor, and herself. Cue for the rest of the family to wake up and start a crisis. Who got blamed? Had to clean up? And somehow got talked into taking her cousin to a medical clinic? Yes, that would be me. I didn’t mind as it excused me to leave early. I also know I’m the only one who would decide it was bad enough and not to blame my cousin who just had good intentions despite the results. And, that’s how we found out that night that she has an intolerance to onions.)

Unfiltered Story #90269

, , | Unfiltered | June 23, 2017

(I work in the offices of a factory. The accounting technician who processes the employees’ pay sits next to me. She also manages employees group insurance. We have a worker who was injured outside the job, and had to stop working for a long period. When that happens, the worker can choose to stay insured through the group insurance. However, as we don’t pay him for that period and cannot deduct the premium from his pay, he has to set up a weekly transfer from his bank account to the company’s.)

Technician: You have to go to your financial institution and set up the transfer. I believe you are with [Bank #1], right? If so, you can also do it online, it only takes a few minutes.

Injured worker: That seems complicated. Can you just do it yourself and take money directly from my account?

Technician: Unfortunately, we cannot. The bank doesn’t allow us to do that. They need you to set it up so they have the authorization.

Injured worker: Oh, okay. I’ll do that I guess.

(One hour passes. My technician gets a phone call from the injured worker.)

Injured worker: Hey, I thought about what you said and it just sounds too complicated. I was thinking maybe you could set it up yourself and take money from my account?

Technician: No, I’m sorry, but as I told you earlier I cannot. The bank won’t let me do that. You have to do it by yourself.

Injured worker: But it’s difficult. And I’d have to go to the bank, and my leg hurts.

Technician: There’s no way around it. But you don’t need to go to the bank. You can do it on [Bank website], it’s really simple and it only takes a few minutes.

(The injured worker agrees to set up the transfer himself. One week passes, and the technician notices we still haven’t received payment from him. She contacts him and asks him why.)

Injured worker: I went to my bank, and they said they cannot do that. I think you need to do it.

Technician: (*seriously facepalming at this point) What do you mean? Of course they can do it. That’s what everyone who is out for a long period does. I don’t know what you asked exactly, but never mind. Go on the bank website, and do exactly what I say.

(The technician told him step by step how to set up a transfer, even though it’s really easy. It still took 3 more weeks for the worker to set up the bank transfer.)

Two Plus Deux

, , , , , | Right | June 20, 2017

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a book about the history of mathematics. Can you help me?”

Me: “Sure, do you want a book that’s in French or in English?”

Customer: “In mathematic!”

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