You Don’t Want To Understand

, , , , | Right | June 21, 2018

(I work in a store in a new department that they just opened. The store is now bigger with this new department, but the storage area is not, so we put the merchandise that we can’t place on the racks in shelves just on top. A woman has an item in her hand and is looking at our shelves with determination…)

Me: “Hi there. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need this item—” *pointing to the one in her hand* “—do you have more up there?”

Me: *looking on the rack, there are about five of them right in front of her* “Well, I know that there are those ones, and maybe two or three more up there. How many do you need?”

Customer: “Only one.”

Me: *confused* “Do you need another color than that?”

Customer: “No! Only one just like that!

Me: “Okay? Is this one broken?”

Customer: *yelling* “Oh, you don’t understand!”

(She then left without the item… I still don’t understand.)

Unfiltered Story #114797

, , | Unfiltered | June 17, 2018

(I am working as a copier service rep, doing regular maintenance and service calls. Sometimes, the maintenance, or repair requires the machine to be taken apart. On occasion, a customer will enter the room where I have dismantled the copier, with parts and tools every where and would say:)

Customer: “Oh, my dear Lord!”

Me: “Wow, thank you but, just call me [My Name]. It’s sufficient.”

(The customer just laughs it off. The situation happened once while one of my supervisors, a joker himself, is with me. He cracks up, saying:)

Supervisor: “I have to remember that one!”

(That helped deal with “not so great” customers, like that one, calling non stop for the same reason:

[customer] “The copier states that it’s out of toner.”

[me] “Well… did you add some?”

[customer] “No. You think it will fix the problem?”

Do Not Copy, Do You Copy?

, , , , | | Right | May 31, 2018

(I am a service representative for a large copier company. I’m at an office doing maintenance on their copier. It’s a large, ten-foot-long machine with a sorter and stapler module. I have covers removed, new and old parts here and there, my toolbox wide open, and tools scattered over the floor and on the machine. The machine is turned on, but the display shows, “Diagnostics,” instead of, “Enter number of copies,” with interlock cheaters to compensate for the open panels. I’ve just finished the main maintenance and the copier is ready to be put back in normal mode, but I have to go back to my car to get some more parts to finish the job properly and clean everything up. I’m gone five minutes. When I come back, I hear the copier cycling down as I enter the room and find a secretary about to make copies.)

Secretary: “Oh, sorry… Were you working on it?”

Me: “Er… Yes… Didn’t you see the display with ‘diagnostics’ instead of ‘ready to copy?'”

Secretary: “Yes, but I simply turned the copier off, then on, and it cleared. You should put a sign not to use it when you do this.”

Me: *politely* “You mean to tell me that the open doors, the missing panels, the open tool box, the tools on top of the copiers and on the floor, old parts, rags everywhere on and around the copier, and the diagnostic display… all of those were not enough of a sign?”

(She grunted, took her papers, and stormed out.)

Totally Overwatch

, , , , | Right | May 15, 2018

(I work in a call center for a company that sells protection plans online. When it comes to watches, we will repair the watch if it is over a certain price, and if it’s a cheap watch, we only issue a check to reimburse it. Keep in mind we only cover mechanical failures coming from the dial; we don’t cover water damage or drops.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “Hi, I want to file a claim on a watch.”

Me: “No problem. I’ll be glad to help you with that. May I have your information so I may access your file?”

(She gives me her information, and I ask her for the price of her watch.)

Customer: “$3.78.”

Me: *pause* “You’re filing a claim for a $3.78 watch?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay, what exactly is the issue with the watch?”

Customer: “I wore it in the shower and it stopped working.”

Me: *pause* “Is it waterproof?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but I will have to deny your claim due to accidental damage handling.”

Customer: “Oh, well, this is stupid.” *hangs up*

(Even if we had taken her claim, the shipping label we would have sent to her would have cost more than her watch.)

Unfiltered Story #109649

, | Unfiltered | April 30, 2018

I had been working in that lingerie shop for about a year when that couple walked in. Couples in their fifties usually are the best, especially the naughty, funny ones that crack sex jokes with us. This time, my coworker served the lady, and when they came to pay, the gentleman asked for another bag. Conversation went something like this.
Customer:  Can I have another bag, for my newspaper?
Me: Mmmmmh…
Customer: I can pay!
Me:I only accept ice cream!
Customer: What flavor?

They went out and I laughed about it with my coworker…until the customer came back two minutes later with a gigantic grin on his face and a chocolate ice cream cone in his hand. This was a pretty cool breakfast.

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