Entitlement And Laziness Are Two Sides Of The Same Bad Customer Coin

, , , , | Right | December 18, 2020

I go to my car dealership to get an oil filter because I’m bringing my car to my usual mechanic for an oil change tomorrow.

I’m paying via debit and the guy hands me the machine. I’m used to paying with my iPhone, so I put it on the machine automatically only to see that there is a little sticker saying they don’t take Paypass. No problem.

Me: “Oh, sorry, you don’t take Paypass. I’ll use my card; just a sec.”

Worker: “Yes, sorry, you’re going to have to put your card in.”

Me: *Laughing.* “No worries. I’m just so used to paying with my phone that I don’t check anymore.” 

Worker: “At least you’re laughing. A lot of times, old men yell at me for that. Worst part is, most times their bills are over $100, so it wouldn’t work anyway…”

Me: “Wow, that sucks. It’s not as if there aren’t more valuable things to get angry about.”

People give me a headache. Getting angry because you have to take a card out of your wallet? Boy, have we become lazy.

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Many Customers Are Not Used To Thinking A Lot

, , , , | Right | November 19, 2020

I have a destination trailer stationed at a campground year-round. I put it up for sale: the trailer, the storage shed, the deck, and the golf cart. Many people are only looking for a golf cart. I specify in the ad, very clearly, in bold letters, that the cart is not sold alone — that everything is being sold as a whole lot, not individually.

I get an email.

Client: “How much just for the golf cart?”

Me: “Just for the golf cart it’s [full price] and I’ll give you a trailer, a shed, and a deck with it.”

Client: “I mean, I just want the golf cart, not the rest. How much just for the cart?”

Me: “As specified in the ad, if you want the golf cart, it’s [full price], and you’ll get the cart, the trailer, the shed, and the shack.”

Client: “I don’t want everything, just the cart.”

Me: “The cart is not sold separately. It is written in the ad. It is sold as a whole. I sell everything at once or nothing. I won’t give you a price for just the golf cart.”

He never contacted me again. I had my fun.

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One Cent: The Cost Of Her Child’s Life

, , , | Right | October 2, 2020

I work in a well-known toy store. When a toy is rung up as one cent at the checkout, this indicates that it is dangerous and must be removed from sale.

Me: “Hello! You found what you were looking for?”

Customer: “It’s been one hour. I’m here to find a baby shower gift, but I finally found it!”

She throws a card, a gift bag, and a baby toy on the counter. I ring the items but the baby toy is coming up as one cent.

Me: “Oh, sorry to tell you this, but I cannot sell you this toy.”

Customer: “What? And why not?”

Me: “It indicates that it should not be sold for several reasons.”

Customer: “I do not care what your reasons are! I’ve been here for one hour; I want this toy!”

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, I cannot sell it to you—”

Customer: “I want to see a manager immediately!”

I call the manager and explain the situation. He comes right away.

Manager: “Hello, madam, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “I have been here for an hour and I want this toy! Sell it to me!”

Manager: “Sorry, ma’am, but it is the policy of the company. This toy could be dangerous for the child.”

Customer: “I DON’T CARE FOR YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS! I want this toy NOW!”

Manager: “If I understand, ma’am, you tell me that you really want this toy at the expense of the health of a child?”

She didn’t say anything else and left the shop without buying anything.

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The Position You Are Looking For Does Not Exist

, , , , , , , | Working | September 28, 2020

I work for a shop which is about to go under and close. All other locations are gone; we only keep the better selling spot for one last year to try and get all the inventory sold before we are over for good. Obviously, I’m not allowed to tell anyone about our situation.

Unfortunately, one of the “great” ideas higher-up management has to show us as still active and going is to advertise jobs open in the shop. I can’t take the sign down.

That leads to this happening a few times a week.

A job seeker comes in, CV in hand.

Job Seeker: “Hi, may I speak to the manager, please?”

The manager doesn’t even want to be disturbed about that at this point, and any employee is allowed to pretend to be the manager in such a case.

Me: “Yes, it’s me.”

Job Seeker: “Yes, I’m here to apply for [position].” 

Me: “Okay, I see. Actually, I’m not looking to hire anyone. If you insist on leaving your resume here, I’m turning around and putting it in the recycling.” *Points to the bin* “Seriously, don’t waste it.”

This is when they all give me the same look, thinking, “This a test! I’m going to prove my determination!”, and get into a self-selling speech. 

Me: “Yeah, that’s good but I’m not pretending. I’m not hiring and your resume really is going in recycling. This is not a test, filter technique, or any kind of trick. We are not hiring.” 

Job Seeker: “Here’s my availability and contact information.”

They push their resume to me on the counter, since I make no move to take it.

Job Seeker: “Thank you and I hope to hear from you soon!”

They walk away with confidence and no look back.

And… that’s when I grab the paper, turn around, and drop it in the recycling. 

I try. I try as hard as I can but they all leave their resumes with us.

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He Probably Thinks Women Don’t Fart, Too

, , , , , , | Romantic | September 28, 2020

I’ve been seeing this guy for about a few weeks when he comes over to my place. We’re sitting on the couch watching a movie, when…

Guy: “Hey, you smell different today. Are you wearing perfume?”

Me: “No, I got a new shower gel.”

Guy: “Why would that make you smell different?”

Me: *Confused pause* “Because it’s a different scent than the last one?”

Guy: “But the shower gel shouldn’t change the way you smell.”

Me: “Um. When you wash with soap, you smell like that soap. You smell like your shower gel, don’t you?”

Guy: “But you’re a girl! You’re supposed to just smell good naturally.”

Me: “Uh… women do sweat, you know. Why do you think we take showers?”

Guy: “It’s to wash off the sweat and stuff. Then, the natural smell comes through, and some girls just smell better than others, just like some girls are prettier than others.”

Me: “Hold up. You really thought the smell of citrus just… came out of my pores? Dude, I’m not a grapefruit.”

Guy: “So you’ve been tricking me this whole time?!”

Me: “What?”

Guy: “You’re just like those girls who wear perfume and makeup! We’re done. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Me: “Fine by me, but I can absolutely guarantee you that any other woman you date is also going to smell like whatever she washes with. You’re not going to find a lady who ‘naturally’ smells like fruit and flowers.”


This story is part of our Best Of September 2020 roundup!

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Read the Best Of September 2020 roundup!

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