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It Will Be All Right Angled On The Night

, , , , , | Right | September 14, 2010

(I had dealt with this customer three hours before this phone call to make a 16×20 frame. I’ve given them a copy of the bill so they can see all the information.)

Customer: “I think the girl who did my order made a mistake! I think she wrote the sizes in backward.”

Me: “Backward? Did she write 61×02?”

Customer: “No. Where it says ‘width’ she wrote 20, but the width is 16!

Me: “Did she write 16 as the height, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes! But that means the frame will be longer than wide.”

Me: “The frame looks the same on all sides, ma’am. 20×16 and 16×20 are the same size. All they’ll have to do is turn it 90 degrees.”

Customer: “They’re smart enough to do that?”

Can’t Take The Heat Of A Melting Pot

, , , | Right | August 24, 2010

Coworker: “Hello, sir. Are you looking for something?”

Customer: “I refuse to be helped by you. You’re Chinese. You’re another one of these darn immigrants stealing the honest Canadians’ jobs!”

Coworker: “Well, my grandmother is from Japan, but I assure you I was born in the province of Quebec.”

Customer: “Lies, lies, and lies!” *spots me* “Finally, a prime example of our good Canadian youth. Young sir, can you help me, please?”

Me: *in my New Brunswick accent* “Sure I can. What are you looking for?”

Customer: “What kind of accent is this? Are you German? Or Russian? Get me the manager! I don’t understand how a sane person could hire these instead of a hard-working Canadian!”

Me: *grabbing the phone* “Calling Maria to front desk.”

Customer: “Maria?! That’s Latino!”

Napoleon Dynamite Goes To The Zoo

, , , , | Right | August 18, 2010

(I am in front of the tigers’ exhibit.)

Visitor: “Excuse me, where is the lion?”

Me: “They are on the other side of the park. Just follow the path to your right.”

Visitor: “What? You don’t keep the lions and tigers together?”

Me: “No. In the wild, they don’t live together.”

Visitor: “But how do they reproduce? The male lion needs to be with the female tiger!”


This story is part of our Clueless Zoo Customers roundup!

Read the next Clueless Zoo Customers roundup story!

Read the Clueless Zoo Customers roundup!

It Will Be Kilo-Hours Before He Gets It

, , , , , , | Right | July 29, 2010

Me: “All right, your cell phone will be in service in twenty to thirty minutes.”

Customer: “How much is that in American time?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Well, in Canada you use the metric system, right?”


This story is part of our Metric System roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

Behaving With Dis-Stain

, , , , , | Right | July 29, 2010

(When clothing comes out of the packaging, we steam it to remove the wrinkles before we put it on the sales floor. A customer picks up a shirt that I have just finished steaming.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you know what this stain is? Will it come out in the wash?”

Me: “It’s water, from the steamer. Just give it a few minutes to dry, and the stain will be gone.”

Customer: “I don’t have a few minutes. If I take it home and wash it, can I return it if the stain doesn’t come out?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Once the article has been washed we can no longer return it. It’s just water, I can assure you.”

Customer: “Well, then can you wash it here?”

(I go and soak it in the sink in our stock room, and hand the sopping wet shirt to the client.)

Customer: “I asked you to wash it! Instead, you just made the stain bigger!”


This story is part of our roundup about customers who are bad listeners!

Read the next story in the bad listening customers roundup!

Read the bad listening customers roundup!