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The Pun Train Keeps Motoring On

, , , , | Working | December 17, 2020

I work in a small office as a design engineer. It’s getting toward the end of the day, and I’m sort of concentrating on my 3D design. The reason for the lack of full attention is that the director has come out of his office to talk to the technical manager, [Coworker #1], and [Coworker #2], and it’s hard to ignore. Just as well, as when my name gets mentioned, I am already up to speed.

They need a new motor for one of our machines, and our regular supplier is still on furlough. [Coworker #1] has suggested another contact, [Representative]. The director groans and starts moaning about how annoying [Representative] is.

Director: “He just goes on and on about motors. He won’t stop talking about them! Good call, though, [Coworker #1]! I ought to get [Coworker #2] or [My Name] to deal with him. Maybe one of [My Name]’s War And Peace-length emails will put him off contacting us again. [Coworker #2]… if you ever talk to him, you’ll end up learning everything there is to know about motors, even if you don’t want to.”

Me: “So, what I’m getting is that [Representative] is a bit of a motor-mouth.”

There follows a lot of groaning, and the director rubs his forehead. He turns and points at me.

Director: “That’s it; you’re going to have to deal with him, [My Name]!”

With that, he returns to his office.

Coworker #1: “You’ve wound him up, [My Name]!”

There are more laughter and groans.

Technical Manager: “I really want to join in with this, but I won’t.”

He looks at me and nods towards the director’s office.

Technical Manager: “You’re gonna get shafted.”

There are yet more laughter and groans.

Me: “He didn’t seem that phased.”

Groans…

Coworker #1: “He’ll be put in a cage.”

He notices the blank looks and lack of reaction and starts to explain to [Coworker #2], before trailing off.

Coworker #1: “A cage induction motor…”

Me: “Yeah, that was a bit of a leap, and I think [Coworker #2] has lost his bearings.”

More groans!

Coworker #1: “Yeah, he’s not a fan.”

Laughter!

I grab my mug and head to the door.

Me: “Anyway, I need to clean my mug, as I don’t want to stator late!”

Tapping Into A New Vein Of Cheesy Humor

, , , , , , , | Right | November 18, 2020

Our store just got the TAP feature on our PIN pad machines about a week ago and both customers and associates are happy that we finally have it. I am working at the self-checkout. I scan a man and his wife through and click the payment screen for them.

Me: “All right, your total is [total]. You can either TAP or chip in the bottom here!”

The man starts tap dancing.

Wife: “What are you doing?”

Man: “Well, she said I could tap as a way to pay, so I’m tap dancing!”

His wife just shook her head at him and told him to just pay already! I thought it was silly, at least, and it was a nice little laugh for the day!


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for November 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for November 2020!

14 Stories About Puns That Are So Bad They’re Good

, | Right | October 26, 2020

Dear readers,

We aim to entertain you in a variety of ways on this site, from satisfying tales of bad customers getting their comeuppance, to sharing the funny and bizarre happenings that most people miss in this big wide world. Sometimes, however, we just want to throw a bad pun or dad joke your way! The bigger the groan, the better! Puns are not everyone’s cup of tea, but for the NAR editors, there is no tea-total! (Sorry…)

We’ve roundup up fourteen punny stories from our archives that are bound to make you laugh, moan, and hopefully leave a punny reply in the comments!

 

A Positive Ending – This roundup starts salty, and just gets worse…

Bad Jokes Are Music To Their Ears – We hope this is not how they try to talk to wo-man.

So Much Pun – Be prepared for some very PUREX puns.

(more…)

Just Drink Your Tea And Leaf The Puns Out Of It

, , , , , | Working | July 29, 2020

I work in a small open-plan office. I have just finished writing a technical manual, so I hand the hard copy over to my technical manager for checking. As a precursor to asking if anyone else wants a drink, I make a comment.

Me: “Well, I think I’ve earned myself a cup of tea.”

Before I can ask if anyone else wants one, my technical manager responds.

Technical Manager: “You get paid in tea now, do you?”

Me: “There’s a thought.”

Coworker: “The rate you go, you’d be paid a fortune.”

Me: “Can you imagine the problems that would happen if anyone found out about me being paid in tea? Trouble brewing!”

There are a lot of groans around the office, and the admin assistant’s head falls into her hands with a comment of, “Oh, [My Name]!”

Me: “You don’t know how much pleasure your collective cries of agony gave me.”

Will Banana Split Your Sides Laughing

, , , , | Right | May 3, 2020

I work at a chain of family restaurants in the northeast US, and this happens about 10:30 pm, a little over an hour before we close for the night. I am working the ice cream counter. A Jim Dandy is what we call our large banana splits.

Me: *To a waitress* “Hey, what do you call a Jim Dandy with no nuts?”

Waitress: “What?”

Me: “A Jane Dandy!”

She tells her customer, laughs, tweets it, and then tells the joke to another customer at carry-out.

Customer: “This is great; you guys should open a bar!”