Getting It Into Their Head(phones)

| Portland, OR, USA | Friendly | August 24, 2016

(I am on the light rail train to work when Passenger #1 gets on playing very loud music on his phone speaker. Obviously, this makes a lot of people very irritated, but none of us speak up until about three stops later when Passenger #2, who is sitting a few seats away from me, approaches the passenger playing his music.)

Passenger #2: “Hi there! I just want to commend you.”

Passenger #1: “What?”

Passenger #2: “I just want to commend you. You’re obviously much more important than the rest of us, but you still use public transportation. That’s very good of you.”

Passenger #1: “What are you talking about?”

Passenger #2: “Oh, maybe I made a mistake. See, I assumed you’re better than the rest of us. That’s why you’re being an a**-hole, right? Instead of using headphones like a decent human being?”

(Passenger #1 told him to f*** off, of course, but a ticket inspector who got on at the next stop made him turn off his music. Passenger #2 was shaking with adrenaline when he returned to his seat and I overheard him telling his friend that he’d always wanted to tell somebody like that off.)

Will Need A Map To Navigate This Conversation

| Portland, OR, USA | Friendly | August 20, 2016

(I recently moved to this city and I get lost frequently. I’ve noticed that many of the public transportation stops have maps. I am going to look at one of those maps and there’s a woman waiting on the bench next to it. Note: I’m male.)

Me: *intending to be polite but not really start a conversation* “Good morning.”

Her: “I don’t know you and I don’t plan on f****** you anytime soon.”

(I don’t know what made her so jaded, but I hope her life got better.)

Arrested For J-Writing

, | CA, USA | Right | August 18, 2016

Me: “All right, sir. If I could have your first and last name for the receipt?”

Customer: “Fred [Last Name].”

Me: “Oh, I don’t know how to spell that. Could you please spell it out for me?”

Customer: “J, E—”

Me: *writes JE*

Customer: “No, ‘J.'”

Me: *looks at receipt*

Customer: “No! It’s a ‘J!'”

Me: “Umm… This is a ‘J,’ sir.”

Customer: “No, you stupid girl. ‘J’ as in green!”

Me: *sighs* “Oh, you meant a ‘G.'” *finishes writing the receipt*

Customer: “You shouldn’t work here if you don’t know the alphabet.”

Me: “Have a nice day.”

Driving Blind To Compassion

, | | Working | July 24, 2016

(I recently moved to Arizona and take the bus to and from work. Most of the bus drivers are fairly pleasant. On this day a woman was sitting up front and very slowly got off the bus, with the driver assuring her we were near the McDonald’s. A moment after we start moving I notice a red and white walking stick (usually used by people with impaired vision) and I jump out of my seat.)

Me: “Driver, did that woman have a cane? I think she left it!”

Driver: “Oh, yeah, she did.” *driver begins to slow down*

Me: “I’ll just pop out and give it to her. We’re less than a block away.”

Driver: *speeds back up* “Eh, well, she left it; it’s out of my hands.”

Me: “I can just get off.”

Driver: “No, this isn’t a stop! She left it!” *bus is now speeding down the street*

Me: *speechless*

A Streetcar Named Backfire

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Friendly | February 12, 2016

(Salt Lake City has a rather extensive mass transit system that provides a direct link to the University of Utah. While riding one train through the city and heading home from the mall, I happen to see a number of students from the U all pile on. They’re pretty loud, having an obvious good time, right up to the point we near the next stop.)

Student #1: “Hey, he missed our turn!”

Student #2: “What, no way.”

Student #1: “Yeah, the d*** driver didn’t turn back there. Don’t they teach these idiots how to drive?”

Student #2: “Dude, it’s a bus. How smart do you have to be to drive it?”

Me: “Ah, just so you know, this isn’t a bus. It’s a streetcar. You know, a kind of train? They only go where the rails take it. No steering wheels. I wonder how smart you have to be then to get on a train and think it’s a bus. Wait, aren’t you in college?”

(Student #1 and #2 looked very sheepish, shut up and made no sound, and got off at the next stop and took off walking.)

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