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A Venomous Reaction

| Friendly | March 6, 2015

(I am waiting for the bus right in front of my old high school. I’m wearing a Venom hoodie, a power symbol necklace and 1-UP mushroom earrings. A teen with a couple friends come out of the school as it let out fairly recently.)

Teen: “You know wearing a Spawn hoodie doesn’t make you a real geek, right?”

Me: “Venom.”

Teen: “What?”

Me: “It’s Venom, not Spawn.”

Teen’s Friends: *laughing* “You got told!”

Teen: “Whatever, still not a geek. I’m gonna find your classes and show up just to piss you off now!”

Me: “Unless you can time travel, good luck with that. I graduated in 2005.”

(His friends told him to leave me alone amid their laughing while they all wandered off. I know I look young, but still…)

The Oregon Fail, Part 3

| Right | March 5, 2015

(I am in Germany on a school trip. I have never been before, nor do I speak German. I am currently with two of my friends talking about going out to dinner on the train platform.)

(A middle-aged man hurries up to me.)

Man: “Guten tag!”

Me: “…guten tag.”

Man: *over enunciating* “Do. You. Speak. English?”

Me: “…yeah?”

Man: “Oh, thank god. Everyone’s so unhelpful around here! How do I get from [rattles off a number of places in quick succession].”

Me: “I’m sorry…”

Man: *cutting me off angrily* “I thought you said you spoke English!”

Me: “I do. I just don’t know any of those places.”

Man: “Why the h*** not?!”

Me:” I’m from Oregon…”

Related:
The Oregon Fail, Part 2
The Oregon Fail

Put Her In The Hot Seat

| Friendly | January 30, 2015

(I’m American. I have a fairly significant [but not readily visible] physical disability and so I always take an ADA seat on public transportation when the other seats are full. I have just taken one of the ‘disabled, elderly, and mothers’ seats on the train. The other three such seats are open. I am 30 but seem to look much younger. A middle-aged lady in a regular seat next to me starts talking:)

Lady: “You know, people need that seat.”

Me: *politely* “Um, there are three others.” *looking around and realizing the only people standing in our car are a group of young men* “There doesn’t seem to be anyone in need of any of them.”

Lady: *haughtily* “I’m sure you don’t realize this since you’re…” *sneers*American, but those seats are for elderly passengers only!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, they’re for elderly passengers, pregnant mothers or mothers with young children and/or prams, and the disabled. As I’ve had a grade-nine spinal fusion and stabilization and suffer from brittle skeleton, the latter applies to me. I am not supposed to stand in a moving vehicle because a fall poses much more danger to me than the average person.”

Lady: *speechless*

Me: “For the record, my deceased grandfather was an English titleholder and my uncle currently sits in Parliament.” *train arrives at the concourse* “Have a lovely day!”

Hormones Aren’t The Only Thing Imbalanced

, , , , , | Friendly | January 15, 2015

(After a long day, I sit down on the subway ride home. A few stops later, a clearly pregnant woman comes in, “Baby On Board” T-shirt and all. Trying to be polite, I ask her if she wants to sit down.)

Me: “Miss, would you like to sit down?”

Woman: “WHY?! DO YOU THINK I’M PREGNANT?!”

Me: *slightly confused* “No, miss. I just wanted to be polite.”

Woman: “Oh. Well. Okay. Keep your seat.”

(We remained in silence until shortly after the next stop.)

Woman: “YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE S***! I’M CARRYING ANOTHER SOON-TO-BE HUMAN, AND I’LL BE D***** IF YOU DON’T GET UP RIGHT THIS SECOND AND LET ME REST MY TIRED FEET. ”

Me: *slightly confused* “Of course. I’m sorry.”

(I got up and let her sit down. Of course, she got off at the next stop.)


This story is part of our Subway roundup!

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Read the Subway roundup!

His Bad Behavior Is Off The Tracks

| Friendly | January 5, 2015

(As anyone living in Metro Manila can tell you, the train along the busiest thoroughfare in the country is almost always packed, especially during rush hour. The first few carriages are reserved for female passengers, as well as the elderly, disabled, and those with small children. The train that rolls up when it is my turn to board is surprisingly roomy, thus the passengers pile in, moving around an elderly man standing at the entryway. Things go smoothly until the train eventually fills up, and a woman tries to step into the space next to the man. All of a sudden, the elderly man attempts to shove her out much to everyone’s shock, but she manages to get on before the doors shut behind her.)

Woman #1: “Sir, what did you do that for?!”

Man: “You think you can just get away with pushing me?”

Woman #1: “I wasn’t pushing you on purpose. The people behind me were trying to get in, and I was pushed along by them.”

Man: “Just because I’m old, you think you can push me around? You can’t do that to me!”

Woman #1: “I’m only giving in because you’re elderly, but you should have more shame as a man.”

(The man continues to rant and mutter about his rights, and the woman is clearly agitated, but eventually settles down. Meanwhile, the rest of us watch in disbelief as the elderly man continues to shove everyone that comes near him for each station that we stop at.)

Woman #2: *whispering* “Does he think he’s a security guard?”

Woman #3: *whispering* “He’s consistent!”

(When it was my turn to alight from the train, I made it a point to give him a wide berth. He looked like he had a mean elbow shove to match his attitude!)