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No Rest(room) For The Wicked

, , , , , , | Right | October 26, 2020

I work at a café/bakery that has some indoor tables, but mostly outdoor ones. Due to the current health crisis, we have some restrictions in place, including not letting the customers use our restroom anymore. A regular and his five-year-old son walk in and make a couple of purchases.

Customer: “And by the way, can my son use your toilet?”

While we occasionally make exceptions, I know this customer, like most, lives close by, so I don’t consider it.

Me: “No, sorry. We’ve restricted it to staff only because of the health crisis.”

Customer: “Oh, I see… [Child]! You can’t use the toilet here. But I’ll help you pee in the garden in a moment. Why don’t you go outside already?”

I am absolutely dumbfounded by his suggestion, so it takes me a moment to reply while he gathers his purchases.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I absolutely cannot let your son pee in our garden. You may let him pee against a tree on the street for all I care, but this is private property.”

He left, confused and irritated, but thankfully, neither caused a scene, nor did the man let his child pee into our outside seating area.

We have several “Do not let your dogs poop/pee here” signs up in the garden. I guess we need one for customers and their kids, as well.

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I Have A Sinking Feeling About This, Part 4

, , , , , , | Right | October 5, 2020

I’m washing my hands in an airport bathroom and there’s a sink closest to the door which is completely filled with water. There’s a sign on the wall saying, “Sink broken, management aware. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Seeing that this sink clearly won’t work, I use one of the other nine available sinks. 

As I’m drying my hands, I see another patron walk up to the broken sink, look at the sign, and then dunk his hands in the stagnant water and then walk out without even trying to look for some soap or drying his hands.

Related:
I Have A Sinking Feeling About This, Part 3
I Have A Sinking Feeling About This, Part 2
I Have A Sinking Feeling About This

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Anxiety Is Building

, , , | Right | September 27, 2020

We only have a bathroom for employees, but just around the corner is another store where people can use the bathroom and no one ever fusses about that.

It’s a slow night and I’m with my coworker. She’s new, and while I’ve worked there for quite some time, I never know how to react to weird customers. An elderly man comes in.

Me: “Hi there. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I don’t need anything; I just wanna go to the bathroom.”

Me: “Sorry, our bathroom is for employees only, but you can head around the corner to [Other Store] and use theirs!”

The customer is heading straight toward the curtain that separates the store from the back.

Customer: “I’m the owner of this building. Let me use the bathroom.”

I am really confused, because I don’t actually know who owns the building. I know who owns the store, and I know all my bosses, but I’ve got no idea if the building is rented or bought.

Me: “Uh. Sorry, our bathroom is for employees only!”

Customer: “I’m not a customer! I’m the owner of the building!”

I am wondering if I should block him physically, but my coworker and I are both tiny girls and he’s about sixty years old and way taller and heavier than both of us.

Me: “I know the owner of the store, and you’re not her!”

Customer: “I’m the owner of the building!

He walks straight into the back. I’m kind of frozen, just exchanging looks with my coworker. I really don’t think that they’re actually the owner, but I don’t KNOW.

Customer: *Coming back out* “See, that wasn’t so hard. Next time I come in, you’ll know who I am.”

Me: “…”

The customer walked out. I ran into the back to check if our valuables were still there. He left the light in the bathroom on and the door wide open, which is strictly against store policies. I have no idea who he was, but I’m about 99% sure he was just a random guy. I never saw him again.

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The Midwest Will Be Mine, One Big Gulp At A Time!

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 4, 2020

Our family had planned a trip to see family in another state. Unfortunately, my husband had to work so he couldn’t go with us after all.

I was telling a friend in that state that we would have to cancel the trip. Unexpectedly, her husband — a high school friend of mine — volunteered to pick up my sons and me if my husband could drive us halfway there.

We made the switch. My friend and I were chatting as we neared an exit. My middle son asked if we could stop for a bathroom break. We did. As we were getting drinks, my friend whispered, “He’s asked to stop at almost every exit. Is he marking his territory?”

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Please Be Neat And Wipe The Seat

, , , , , , | Working | September 1, 2020

I recently transferred offices from one with a staff pushing forty, with full, multi-stall bathrooms, to one with a staff of five and two single bathrooms. I am the only woman at this new office and, while one of the bathrooms technically has a “Women” sign on it, no one really enforces that, since there are only the two toilets. This doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is pee on the toilet seat.

After the first few times it happens, not wanting to directly confront my new coworkers, I put a sticky note on the toilet simply reading, “Please don’t pee on the toilet seat. It’s rude.” The note seems to do the trick, as the toilet seat remains piddle-free for several weeks.

Then one day, I walk in to see a nice yellow spot drying on top of the toilet. Not the seat. The top of the tank. I leave a second note. This time, I draw an arrow to the spot and write, “Is your aim really this bad?”

The next day the note is gone and the toilet is clean, and the outside of the toilet has remained pee-free forevermore.

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