Unfiltered Story #167597

, , | Unfiltered | September 21, 2019

(This happened on a fairly busy day in a popular pub with a seaside location. We get lots of older visitors in the months after summer. I’m in hour 9 of a 10 hour shift having already banged my head in the store cupboard, showered myself in orange juice and cleaned fresh poop out of a toilet. The customer is an older man and is not paying attention)

Customer: ‘pint of 1664 an’… uh…a kronenbourg please.’ (they are the same thing. He is not listening to me but points at the beer)
Me: ‘so, is that one pint or two?’
Customer: …’yes.’
Me: (thinking he hasn’t heard me but knowing he is not listening and he is still not looking at me) ‘one pint or two? ‘
Customer: ‘what?’
Me: ‘ONE pint or TWO?’
Customer: ‘What??’
Me: ‘ONE PINT OR TWO?!’
Customer: (finally looking at me) ‘oh no, we’ll have food later.’

Me: *eye twitch*

(I smile, nod, and serve him a pint. He seems happy enough and, after a second or two, goes back to his table, unscathed by the whole event.

I am left wondering if it really was just one pint, or two. )

Unfiltered Story #167593

, , | Unfiltered | September 20, 2019

(We are serving breakfast and we get a lot of builders coming in before they go to work, or for a morning break. One orders pancakes on table 50, which is easily seen from the bar.)

Coworker: ‘hey, table 50’s pancakes, the lady says she didn’t order them’
Me: *looking up* ‘uh, no, she didn’t. It was a guy in a grey hoodie, he’s been sat with his friend while his friend ate breakfast. You’ll know it’s him because his hands are covered in paint’
Coworker: ‘oh, right well I’ll have a look for him’
He eventually comes back having had no luck, so I go and see if I can find him on the floor. I look inside the pub and out to see if he’s having a smoke, I even look on our roof terrace which is currently closed for food but open to take drinks. He is nowhere to be found.
Me: ‘hey, I can’t find him either, he’s not in the pub’
Coworker: ‘well they can stay here until he claims them, why would you order pancakes and then just disappear?’
Me: ‘I don’t know, I’ll let him know if I see him’
I told another co worker about this later, saying I never saw him come back. She says I should have told her earlier, thinking she’s seen the customer I asked if she had served him, she replied ‘no, but I was hungry and they were free pancakes!’

He never did come back for them.

Free Will Gets Free Drink

, , , , | Right | September 14, 2019

(I work in a small pub. It’s a small village and we get quite a few regulars. One of these regulars is my uncle’s best friend. My uncle has recently passed away from bowel cancer, and his best friend is taking it especially hard. Neither men married and my uncle died quite young. I’m behind the bar.)

Me: “Hi, [Best Friend]. How are you today?”

Best Friend: “Not good, love. Can’t wait to get this will business out of the way.”

Me: “Put your money away; this one’s on me.”

(I make a note in the employee book to charge for the drink and pull the pint. Just as I pass it over, this happens:)

Woman: “Why does that man get a free drink? I want a free drink!”

Me: *ignoring the woman* “The restaurant through there is empty at the moment, [Uncle’s Best Friend]. Feel free to go sit down for a minute. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Woman: “Don’t you ignore me! I want a pint of Carlsberg and I’m not paying for it!”

Me: “I bought that man a drink out of my own money as he’s going through a tough time right now. I don’t even know you!”

Woman: “Well, I’m [Woman]; buy me a drink!”

(My manager comes out of the back and the woman’s eyes widen.)

Woman: “Oh, f***.”

Manager: “You’re still barred, [Woman]! Get out!”

(The woman scurries away.)

Me: “What did she do?”

Manager: “She pissed in someone’s pint when they went to the bathroom.”

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Very Bitter About It

, , , , | Right | September 5, 2019

(I work in a rock pub, and on this particular Saturday we are short-staffed and low on our draft beers — so low, in fact, that by 10:00 pm we are out of cider, lager, pilsner, and bitter! We still have about four other drafts to choose from, and a selection of bottled beers and ales. All of the drafts that are off have a glass over them to show they are empty. One customer has been in since before my shift started at 8:00, and so is aware of which drafts are off.)

Customer: “Can I have a pint of [Bitter]?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we’ve run out of that; can I get you something else?”

Customer: “For f***’s sake. Fine, what bottles have you got?”

Me: “Well, [Bottle #1] and [Beer #1] have been popular substitutes.”

Customer: “How much is [Bottle #1]?”

Me: “It’s [price].”

Customer: “What about [Beer #1]? How much is that?”

Me: “It’s [slightly higher price].”

Customer: *exasperated sigh* “What kind of s***hole is this?”

(I blink at the customer, slightly surprised by the comment is he is a semi-regular here.)

Me: “Well, sir, it is the kind of s***hole you are more than welcome to leave.”

(He looked at me slightly taken aback and hopefully realising how stupid his comment was before ordering his beer.)

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The Pluck Of The Irish

, , , , , , , | Working | August 23, 2019

(I work at an Irish pub owned by a management company. I am the assistant manager. Our general manager has come in recently and has not dealt much with the area manager yet. One day quite soon after Saint Patrick’s weekend — our busiest day of the year — our area manager comes in for a meeting with the two of us, as he occasionally does at random intervals, mainly to complain about stuff. It is worth noting that both the general manager and I are Irish, and the area manager is English.)

Area Manager: “So, why haven’t you put up those posters I asked you to put up?”

General Manager: “You sent that message this morning; we haven’t had time yet.”

(It is 9:00 am. The message to print and put up the posters came at 8:00.)

Area Manager: “Oh, I see. Typical f****** Irish, can’t do f******* anything we ask you, can you? Both of you are useless. F****** Paddies.”

(For a second, the general manager and I stare at each other, stunned. Then, the general manager stands. It’s worth noting he is huge, and towers over the area manager. Everything he says is delivered in a very calm, but hugely menacing voice.)

General Manager: “You get out of my pub, right now, or I’ll put you out through the f****** window.”

(The area manager seems to realise he’s made a mistake. He laughs nervously and looks at me. I’m pretty much a pacifist at the best of times, but this guy has been getting on my nerves for a while, and this is the last straw. I stand, as well.)

Area Manager: “And what are you going to do?”

Me: “I might open the window first.”

(The area manager left very quickly. He was later transferred to another area once my general manager complained and refused to work with him anymore. The kicker? The company was owned by an Irishman.)

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