I Propose Kicking Him Out

, , , , , , | Right | February 14, 2016

(I work at an upscale, very romantic restaurant. Valentine’s Day is our biggest night of the year; we’re booked solid for weeks in advance. It’s not uncommon for people to propose, so I’m not surprised when I see another waiter putting an engagement ring in a cake. A few moments later I hear the woman shrieking “yes!” and clapping. Another couple flags me down.)

Male Customer: “What’s happening over there?”

Me: “I think it was a proposal.”

Female Customer: “Oh, that is so romantic!”

Male Customer: *frowns at me* “You’d better cancel the champagne, then.”

Me: “Sir?”

Male Customer: *stabs at his plate* “You can forget the champagne and the strawberries. You’ve ruined the surprise now.”

(The female customer and I exchange looks.)

Me: “Sir?”

Male Customer: “You let that guy propose. I can’t propose now. I’ll look like I’m copying him!”

Female Customer: “Propose?!”

Male Customer: “Not anymore. These idiots ruined it! How could you let someone else propose!”

Me: “Sir, I had no idea you were going to propose.”

Male Customer: “Well, how are you going to compensate me for your mistake?”

Me: “Sir?”

Female Customer: “Honey, it’s not her fault.”

Male Customer: “They ruined our evening. This should have been magical. I demand to see the manager!”

(I go and get the manager. The couple are whispering back and forth and don’t look happy. Other customers and giving them anxious glances.)

Manager: “Sir, is there a problem?”

Male Customer: “Yes! You ruined my evening by letting that man propose!”

Manager: “Sir, we are not responsible for guest’s proposals.”

Male Customer: “Yes, you are! You knew I was going to propose and your staff let him do it first! And I can’t propose after him!”

Manager: “Sir, I don’t know what we could have done to prevent this. Our staff cannot tell people not to propose.”

Male Customer: *yelling* “Yes, you can! I reserved a proposal!”

(By now a lot of guests are staring.)

Manager: “Sir, please keep your voice down.”

Male Customer: “No! I will not be treated like this. You ruined my entire evening and now you’re acting like I’m the bad guy!”

Manager: “Sir, if you do not calm down I will ask to you leave.”

(The man begins yelling “ruined!” over and over again, and starts throwing his food on the floor. We end up calling the police to get him out. Throughout all of this his companion silently watches. As the police drag him out, still screaming she opens her purse and puts a wad of cash on the table.)

Female Customer: “That’s for saving me from a terrible marriage. Have a good evening.”


Did you find this story using our Waitstaff roundup?

Click here to get to the next story!

Click here to get back to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
3,470

Algebrawwww

, , , , , , | Romantic | December 27, 2012

(I’m a math teacher at a small high school. My boyfriend is an English teacher in the same school. He often leaves me notes on the board in my room during lunch, so my students and I see them as we come in. One day, I get into my classroom and see that all of my students are sitting in their seats, waiting for me, which is odd. One of my students hands me a paper.)

Student #1: “Here! [Boyfriend] told us to have you solve this equation on the board.”

(The instructions are to “solve the inequality for i in terms of u.” I can guess where this is going. I figure it’s just another one of his notes.)

Me: “Okay, but we only have a few minutes before class starts.”

(I start to solve the problem, but as I get closer and closer to the end, I notice something’s off about the problem. My students start to snicker.)

Student #2: “Oh, my God!”

Student #3: “What? What’s wrong?”

Student #2: “He forgot that when you divide by a negative number, you flip the signs!”

(I finished the problem and laughed. The answer was “i<3u”. I turned around and saw my boyfriend on one knee in front of the class, a box in one hand and his head in the other. I said yes!)


Did you find this story using our Teacher roundup?

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to get back to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
966

Cos-Proposal

, , , , , , | Romantic | July 17, 2012

(My then-boyfriend and I are at ‘Otakon’ in Baltimore. We have just run into a Jareth cosplayer, the Goblin King character from the film ‘Labyrinth’, played by David Bowie. I am a huge fan.)

Me: “Oh, my, God! Jareth!”

(I start ‘fan-girling’ over the amazing costume with the Cosplayer, who is playing up the costume really well.)

Boyfriend: “I remember the end. Sarah was stupid not to acccept his offer.”

Me: “Don’t ruin it by reminding me that the Goblin King didn’t get his Queen.”

(He suddenly gets down on one knee and takes my hand.)

Boyfriend: “I ask for so little. Just let me rule you and you can have everything that you want.”

Me: *stunned* “Oh, God.”

Boyfriend: *pulls out ring* “Just fear me. Love me. Do as I say and I will be your slave.”

Me: *grinning like an idiot* “Yes. Yes! YES!”

(I grab him in a stranglehold of a hug.)

Me: “How many times did you watch that movie to remember that line?”

Boyfriend: *putting the ring on my finger* “Don’t ask, but I knew that you’d only say yes if I did something unique.”

Jareth Cosplayer: “Well played.”


This story is included in our Cosplay roundup.

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
1,561

Do Not Get Hitched, Go Directly To Jail

, , | Right Romantic | August 25, 2009

Customer: “I’d like to order a cake.”

Me: “All right, what size cake did you want?”

(We go through the details of the cake.)

Me: “And what did you want the cake to say?”

Customer: “Welcome home from jail. Will you marry me?”

Me: “Okay…”

(The next week, the same customer comes back in with the cake.)

Customer: “I’d like a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. What is wrong with it?”

Customer: “He said no!”

1 Thumbs
3,176