(My girlfriend and I — also female — have been dating for six years, and recently moved to Italy together as we are both archaeologists. I decide to talk a bit about the future while we’re watching TV.)

Me: “Do you ever think about the future?”

Girlfriend: “Sometimes, I guess. I prefer to think about now. Why? Am I still in your future?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. But only for one more week.”

([Girlfriend] looks at me in horror.)

Me: “I’m joking! Don’t look so scared! You should know me by now!”

(She relaxes.)

Girlfriend: “Good, because you’re in my future to stay.”

(A week later I take her out to dinner, something we don’t do very often, and then for a walk in the nearby park. It’s clear to her that this is something special, but she doesn’t ask any questions.)

Me: “You remember how I said you were only going to be my girlfriend for one more week?”

(The horrified look returns. I turn to face her and get down on one knee.)

Me: “How about being my fiancée, instead?”

(She said yes, and we both cried. A year later, she isn’t my fiancée anymore; she’s my wife.)

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(I’ve been dating a guy for a while, things have been going pretty well, and he finally proposes!)

Boyfriend: “I was thinking about us getting married. What do you think?”

Me: “Swiggity swing! You get the ring, and we’ll do the thing!”

(We’re getting married in three months.)

(I am female in my late 20s. This has been the worse fortnight of my life so far; I was made redundant at work, I fell out with a very close friend over something really stupid, and someone rear-ended me. My period has also started, making everything a lot worse, as I get extremely hormonal during this time. Now, my glasses have broken. I emotionally break down, and cry at my boyfriend.)

Me: *whilst sobbing* “I have no friends, no vision, no car, and no money to sort out two of those problems! AND I’M BLEEDING EVERYWHERE!”

Boyfriend: “Shall I go get some cake?”

Me: *stops wailing, but still sniffing* “Cake?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, let’s go to [My Favourite Cake Place].”

Me: *sniffing* “Really?”

Boyfriend: “Really, really.”

(He goes on the cake trip. He comes back sooner than I’d expect, and hands me the bag, which is too light to have cake in it. I open it up and find a ring box with a ring in it.)

Boyfriend: “Will yo—”

Me: *truly distressed* “Where’s the cake?!”

Boyfriend: “I… Erm.”

Me: “You said there would be cake!”

Boyfriend: “Okay… You’re irrationally—”

Me: *irrationally upset* “I am not irrationally upset! You promised cake! Instead, I get a ring that I can’t even see properly, because I have no vision! How could you betray me like this?!” *ugly, hysterical sobbing*

(He did go get me cake. And I did apologise to him over being overly emotional and dramatic. Surprisingly, he still wanted to marry me after that, so I said yes.)

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(I’ve only been dating my boyfriend for a year, but we are very close and tentatively planning our future together. We also love playing Pokémon Go. While out on a walk, he hatches an egg. This means he gets a completely random Pokémon.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, if this is a Charmander, will you marry me?”

Me: *amused* “This is how it’s gonna be huh? All right, go ahead.”

(Egg hatches, and out pops a Charmander! I crack up laughing while my boyfriend has a stunned, but happy look in his face.)

Me: “So, when’s the wedding?”

(We are not quite there yet, but after a 1 in 100 chance, at least Nintendo approves of us!)

(My boyfriend and I are having dinner with his siblings and some other friends. We’re having Chinese takeout, and afterward, there are fortune cookies. My boyfriend passes them out.)

Brother #1: “Mine says ‘Your future will be happy and productive.’ I hope so!”

Me: “Mine is ‘Believe in yourself, and others will, too.’ I like that.”

Boyfriend: “Wait, what? Let me see yours.”

(He takes my fortune and reads it, then looks in the takeout bag, looking confused.)

Brother #2: “Guys, my fortune says ‘Will you marry me?’ What?”

Boyfriend: “Oh, f***!”

(He leans across the table, snatches the fortune out of [Brother #2’s] hands and gives it to me.)

Boyfriend: “Well, no one can say I didn’t try.”

(I said yes.)

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