How To Deal With A Customer’s Crap

| Property Management | TX, USA | Health & Body

(I am a property manager for a homeowner’s association. I get a call from a homeowner.)

Homeowner: “Yes, I’m calling to tell you that you need to pick up the dirty diaper in my front lawn.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, that’s not what I do.”

Homeowner: “Well, somebody needs to pick it up! Who do you think will pick it up if you don’t?!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s your house. You’re responsible for maintaining your home. I’m not obligated to clean your lawn.”

Homeowner: “Well, then you can rot in H*** along with that diaper!”

Lack Of Heir Conditioning

| South Carolina, USA | South Carolina, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

Tenant: “The heat in my home hasn’t worked all winter! Do you know how much my children have suffered?”

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t fix the problem if we don’t know about it. Why didn’t you call earlier?”

Tenant: “I’ve already had my uncle look at the heater. It’s not fixable, and you owe me $60 for having him confirm that.”

Me: “By law, we have to supply you with heat. We would have replaced your heater and given you wood to burn while doing so.”

Tenant: “That’s okay. I’m burning the fence.”

Me: “The privacy fence?”

Tenant: “Yes! My babies need to be warm.”

Me: “That’s treated wood.”

Tenant: “My babies need to be warm!”

Your Logic Is See-Through

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Can you have someone clean the water fountain filter? The water comes out dirty.”

Me: “Are you sure it’s dirty? Or is it just cloudy? Sometimes we just get air bubbles in the filtration and it looks cloudy.”

Caller: “No. I put it in a glass and it comes out filthy.”

Me: “If you set the glass down for a few minutes–”

Caller: “Yeah, it clears up.”

Me: “Well then, those are tiny air bubbles. As long as it clears up, that’s just-”

Caller: “No, but it comes out of the water fountain dirty. People drink from there.”

Me: “What if you put it into a glass, and leave it for a few minutes?”

Caller: “Right! Its clean then! The glass cleans it!”

Me: “Actually, I don’t think it’s the glass.”