Time For This Joke To Go Bye Bye

| CA, USA | Learning | May 12, 2017

(At the school where I work we have a small student population, so we have a very strong community vibe. We also happen to have small one-on-one classrooms, and mine is adjacent to one of the spaces where students interact and do homework. One student has just finished up classes and is walking past my classroom when this happens:)

Coworker #1: “Bye, [Student]!”

Student: “Bye, [Coworker #1].”

Coworker #2: “Bye, [Student]!”

Student: “Bye, [Coworker #2].”

(As my door is open, I proceed to shout from my classroom:)

Me: “BYE, [STUDENT]!”

Coworkers: *laughter*

Me: “I just wanted to fit in!”

Student: “Would anyone else like to say goodbye to me before I go?”

(I love my job.)

Happy Smelly Feet

| Singapore | Learning | August 29, 2016

Teacher: “Natural gas mostly consists of methane.”

Student: “Oh, oh! And it smells like penguin!”

Teacher: “Huh? Penguin?”

Student: “I read it somewhere. Yes, it has a penguin smell.”

Teacher: “You mean, pungent?”

Student: “Ah, yes… It has a pungent smell.”

Teacher: “Methane is actually odorless.”

Student: “…”

Teacher: “I am telling people about this.”

Dress-Down Economics

| VA, USA | Learning | July 4, 2016

(I work at a private school that covers all grades, and I teach math from 7th to 12th grade. After lunch, I stop into a class to ask another teacher a question when one of my 7th graders approaches me.)

Student: “Mrs. [My Name], are you rich?”

Me: “No, I’m a teacher. We don’t make that much. Why do you think I’m rich?”

Student: “Because you wear dresses everyday.”

Me: “I just like dresses.”

Student: “But they’re nice dresses! You must be rich.”

(All of my dresses come as gifts from family or from thrift stores or clearance racks, and I wear them over the cheapest leggings I can find. But I guess they make me look rich!)

Grades Going Down Gets You Down

| UK | Learning | April 29, 2015

(We recently got a new maths teacher who apparently was used to a higher academic performance from her students. One day I walk past a building when I see her in a corner, crying and talking to another teacher.)

Maths Teacher: *sobbing* “Everyone here is just so STUPID!”

The Pre-School Preemptive

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | May 9, 2010

Me: “Hi, you’ve reached the office of admissions at [Private High School]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I’m looking at schools for my daughter, and I was wondering if you could tell me some of the benefits of your school.”

(I discuss benefits of being a student at my high school.)

Caller: “Are you a student here?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Do you see the programs changing in the next few years?”

Me: “How many years?”

Caller: “Well, my daughter is starting preschool in a month.”

Related:
Pre-Pre-Pre-School

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