(A middle-aged woman rushes in and hands me a sheet of paper.)

Customer: “Can you fax this page to [number] for me?”

Me: “No problem!”

Customer: “I’m just going to run next door for a coffee and be right back.”

Me: “Sure.”

(The customer returns after 10 minutes.)

Customer: “You didn’t fax it yet?!”

Me: “Yes, I did actually. It went through fine.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t! I can see my paper laying right there!”

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yea, I need you guys to work on my car’s transmission. How much?”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t work on cars here. We print things.”

Caller: “But… but I Googled [Company] and I got you guys.”

Me: “I’m sorry, Google was wrong. I don’t know how we got on there.”

Caller: “But I Googled you! You have to do it!”

Me: “Ma’am, we have copiers here, not a garage. Try the Yellow Pages?”

Caller: *sounding very betrayed* “I can’t believe I Googled you.”

(I am setting birthday invitations for a customer’s mother’s 90th birthday.)

Customer: “Well, it looks great, except for one thing…”

Me: “All right. Just tell me the problem and I can fix it.”

Customer: *pointing to the location and address on the invite* “Can we remove this? There’s too much information, it looks really cluttered.”

Me: “…you want to remove the location from the invitation?”

Customer: “Yes! It looks like too many words; I certainly wouldn’t read all that.” *points to RSVP information* “Actually, take that off, too.”

Me: “How are people going to know where to go, or how to let you know they’ll be there?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m sure they can figure it out!”