The Shoe Does Not Fit

, , , , | Right | September 12, 2019

(I’m shopping in a big shoe store with my mom. While wandering the back rows, a woman grabs me and this conversation ensues.)

Woman: “Excuse me. Can you help me with these shoes?” *points to a display of shoes on an end row*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I don’t work here.”

Woman: *snottily, rolling her eyes* “I know you don’t work here. I just have a question about these shoes.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Woman: “Do you know what the price is?”

Me: “No… because I don’t work here.”

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Driving Through Clichés

, , , , , | Legal | August 16, 2019

I’m stopped at a light at the end of the main thoroughfare through my town. Either direction, there are only two ways you can go: left or right. 

The way the intersection works is that those coming into town have a green arrow first while those leaving town — i.e. me — have a delayed green. There is no turn allowed on red, so even those turning right have to wait for the light. 

I’m waiting to turn right and am sitting behind another car. The light turns green but one last car decides to run the light and make the left, so we have to wait. The problem is that the moment the green arrow goes away, the crosswalk to the right becomes active and everyone walking across the road has the right of way. 

And wouldn’t you know, at the exact moment the guy decides to run the light, there is a perfect poster for why you yield for pedestrians — an elderly couple and a young woman with a stroller are all attempting to cross. The elderly man holds up his hand to wave to the car to stop, but the car ignores it and cuts in front of them. I’m thinking, “Wow, what a jerk!” when the car in front of me finally goes, so I turn, as well.

That’s when I see it. The problem is that right by this intersection is the municipal court and the police station. And right there, at this moment, is a squad car, who sees the guy run the light and cut off the people in the crosswalk. Not far down the road, the cop pulls him over. 

I retold my dad the story and he said the fines and penalties the guy would be hit with would be quite hefty.

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Owning Up To The Situation

, , , | Right | April 20, 2018

(I am the office manager at a family entertainment company and, since it’s so small and the owner is terrible with technology, I’ve spent years taking over the business side. The company has the owner’s name in the title, so I’m either mistaken for her, or people think I can’t help them.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]. This is [My Name].”

Customer: “I would like to talk to [Owner]. We met last week and I want to book an event.”

Me: “Great! I’m actually the office manager, and I handle the bookings, so I can help you—”

Customer: “No, I need to speak with [Owner].”

Me: “But, sir, she is just going to have to give you back to me, because I handle the calendar—”

Customer: “I ain’t got all day, honey. Just put [Owner] on the phone.”

(I give up and ask the owner to stop what she’s doing to talk to the customer who has now insulted me. Since the owner does not do anything when it comes to the schedule, she chats with him for a minute and then, when he inquires about booking, this happens.)

Owner: “Well, yes, we would love to come out to your event! I don’t handle the bookings, though, so I’ll have to give you back to my office manager. She’s great; she’s the backbone of our company. We wouldn’t be running if it wasn’t for her!”

(As I get back on the phone…)

Me: “Hello, sir! So, what day would you like to book?”

Customer: *sheepishly* “Well, let’s look at …”

(I was annoyed at the customer, but he turned out to be a pretty nice guy and has made sure not to try to ask for the owner ever again!)

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