Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] Tech Support. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “The technician needs to come.”

Me: “Sorry about the issue you are having, what seems to be happening?”

Caller: “It’s too bright!”

Me: “What seems to be too bright?”

Caller: “The light!”

Me: “What light are you talking about?”

Caller: “The light on the box!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what box are you referring to?”

Caller: “Internet light!”

Me: “Is this the light to your modem or your computer?”

Caller: “The light is too bright and I can’t sleep at night. I need the tech to come out and not make it bright!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Have you tried turning the modem around to face a wall or put something over the lights?”

Caller: “No, do you think that would work?”

Me: “Possibly.”

Caller: “Well, I still want my other box back! It wasn’t bright!”

Me: “…”

(We are a very small store, and only have one entrance/exit door. A visitor from a larger city, is standing in the middle of the store, looking lost.)

Me: “Hello, sir. Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “Yes. Where is your exit?”

Me: “Our exit?”

Customer: “Yes, I came in that door, but I can’t find your exit.”

Me: “We only have one door.”

Customer: “One door? How strange!”

Customer: “My cable box is broken.”

Me: “What seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “Roughly every one minute the channel goes up. I tried turning it off and on; I tried unplugging it; I made sure no one was sitting on the remote; nothing works! You guys gave me a broken box!”

Me: “What does it currently show on the front of the box, sir?”

Customer: “Channel 932.”

Me: “And what time is it, sir?”

Customer: “9:32. Oh.” *hangs up*