(It is the week after “The Lego Movie” has come out, and the kids have all been singing “Everything is Awesome,” a song from the soundtrack, off and on. A new little girl comes for her first day and joins right in.)

Teacher’s Assistant: “Man, it’s spreading.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s catchy. I had it stuck in my head for hours after leaving the theater.”

Teacher’s Assistant: “What?”

Me: “From The Lego Movie? It plays over the credits.”

Teacher’s Assistant: “It’s from a movie?!”

Me: “Well, yeah. Where did you think they all learned it?”

Teacher’s Assistant: “I just thought they were all really optimistic this week!”

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(Today, the children are drinking hot chocolate while learning about cocoa and chocolate. It takes a while to give hot chocolate to all of them, so I decide to quiz them to keep them entertained.)

Me: “Okay, so now you know where chocolate comes from. Who can tell me where milk comes from?”

Children: *in unison* “From cows!”

Me: “Great. Do you know any other animal whose milk we use?”

Child #1: “Goats! Sheep”

Me: “You are really good. Tell me now: what is the name of the female of the sheep?”

Child #2: “Wool!”

(It was really hard not to crack up laughing!)

(I have been reading fluently since the age of four. My regular preschool teacher knows this. One day we have a substitute.)

Substitute: “All right, boys and girls. Now we’re going to draw! Go ahead and draw whatever you want to. I’ll come around and write down on your paper what you drew!”

(The substitute works her way around the room and finally gets to me.)

Substitute: “[My Name], what did you draw?”

Me: “It’s Mommy, and Daddy, and [My Name], and [Dog’s Name], going to dinner at [local restaurant]. Write that, please!”
(The substitute begins to write “My family goes to dinner” on the page.)

Me: “NOOOOOO! I said ‘Mommy, and Daddy, and [My Name], and [Dog’s Name], going to dinner at [local restaurant]’! That says ‘My family goes to dinner’!”

(The substitute stares at me for a second. Then she writes down what I had said, word for word.)

Me: “THANK you.”

(The substitute hurries out of the room but forgets to close the door. Moments later, floating in from the hallway, my whole class can hear her.)

Substitute: “Why didn’t somebody tell me one of them could read?!”

(I am discussing a child’s recent behavior with his mother.)

Me: “I’m a bit concerned that he refuses to talk to me when he thinks he is in trouble.”

Mother: “Yes, well, you know why he’s like that.”

(I give her an expectant stare.)

Mother: “He’s a Sagittarius.”

(It took me a moment to realize she was completely serious.)

(My son is four years old, in pre-school, and has a funny sense of humor. He is working on writing his name. Getting frustrated with not being able to make it look exactly like the example, he throws down his pencil with an exasperated sigh.)

Teacher: “What’s wrong?”

Son: “I can’t make it look right!”

Teacher: “Well, it takes a lot of practice to become good at something, you just need to be patient.”

Son: “Why should I be patient? I’m not even sick!”