It’s The Age Of Delirious

| Learning | July 5, 2013

(I am discussing a child’s recent behavior with his mother.)

Me: “I’m a bit concerned that he refuses to talk to me when he thinks he is in trouble.”

Mother: “Yes, well, you know why he’s like that.”

(I give her an expectant stare.)

Mother: “He’s a Sagittarius.”

(It took me a moment to realize she was completely serious.)

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Patients Is A Virtue

| Learning | June 17, 2013

(My son is four years old, in pre-school, and has a funny sense of humor. He is working on writing his name. Getting frustrated with not being able to make it look exactly like the example, he throws down his pencil with an exasperated sigh.)

Teacher: “What’s wrong?”

Son: “I can’t make it look right!”

Teacher: “Well, it takes a lot of practice to become good at something, you just need to be patient.”

Son: “Why should I be patient? I’m not even sick!”

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Your Stethoscope Must Be Bwok-bwok-bwoken

| Learning | June 11, 2013

(I work as a teacher’s aide in a class of two- and three-year-old children. We’re learning about doctors and I am playing with a stethoscope with a very bright little girl.)

Me: “Ooh, I can hear your heartbeat! Do you want to hear?”

Student: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, listen. Can you hear it?”

Student: “Yeah!”

Me: “You can? What does it sound like?”

Student: “Chicken!”

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Some Rashes You Gotta Scratch

| Learning | June 10, 2013

(I am a pre-school teacher sitting with one of my three-year-old students who loves watermelon. He brings it every day and is now explaining to me how he has eaten so much watermelon that it has given him a rash.)

Child: “It gave me a b—”

Me: “Stop! We don’t say that at the table.”

Child: “But now I have a—”

Me: “Don’t say it.”

Child: “Bu—”

Me: “Nope!”

Child: “Buuu—”

Me: “Shhh!”

Child: “Buuuuu—”

Me: “Uh-uh!”

Child: “Bubuuubuuu—”

Me: “No!”

Child: *triumphantly* “BUTT RASH!”

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Make Like A Tree And Leaf

| Learning | June 3, 2013

(I work at a pre-school and I’m finishing up with a student in the bathroom. As we walk down the hall back to the classroom, he spots a leaf on the ground.)

Student: “Hey, Miss [my name]! What’s that leaf doing inside?”

Me: “Oh, it might have blown inside through the door or it might have been on someone’s shoe.”

Student: *marches over and picks up leaf* “Hey, leaf! What are you doing inside? You don’t belong here! Go back outside! Go home!”

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