Being A Push Over Gets You Pushed For Time

| Italy | Working | October 3, 2014

(We’re doing an inspection on a part of the plant, checking for leaks. My coworker is young and freshly hired; the customers, especially the aggressive ones, still get the better of him.)

Coworker: “Let’s just hope [Notoriously Pushy Customer’s Manager] doesn’t ask us to anticipate the report. We’re on a tight schedule as it is.”

Me: “Well if he does, you just tell him ‘no can do.’ He’s not in a position to give us orders, and what’s the use in rushing us, anyway?”

(Right on cue, my coworker’s phone rings.)

Coworker: *at the phone* “Hello? Oh, good day, Mr. [Customer’s Manager]… You want us to finish by tomorrow… at noon? Why, yes… Of course… We’ll have the report done by then…No problem at all, really. You’re welcome… Have a nice day… Yeah… You, too.”

Me: *speechless*

Coworker: “[My Name], we’re so screwed.”

Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 2

| USA | Right | July 15, 2013

Customer: “I wanted to know is it possible that I can disconnect this service from another account?”

Me: *confused* “You’re trying to disconnect your account?”

Customer: “I’m trying to disconnect someone else’s account, because their bills keep coming to my mailbox.”

Me: “You’re trying to cut off someone else’s lights because their bills keep coming to you?”

Customer: “Well… um… I probably shouldn’t do that, should I? I’ll just… take it to their door.” *click*

 

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Stupidity Can You Leave You Powerless

| BC, Canada | Working | February 6, 2013

(It’s a winter and a bad storm has knocked out power. A large tree has come down on the power line right where it crosses road. After a few days, I give the power company a call to report it.)

Me: “Hi, I’m calling about [street]. The power there’s still out, and a tree fell on the line right where it crosses the road. It’s pretty dangerous; do you guys know about it yet?”

Representative: “You’re on [street]? Yeah, we fixed that one a couple days ago.”

Me: “No, you didn’t; the power is still off and there’s a tree right across the power line halfway up the road!”

Representative: “You’re out on [street nearby], right? There was a broken line there; we fixed it two days ago.”

Me: “I can guarantee we don’t have power over on [street] right now; I’m borrowing a store’s phone to make this call. Besides, there’s still a bloody great tree down on the power line, and it’s right across the road!”

Representative: “Across the road from what?”

Me: “What? No, the power line crosses the road there, and this tree is on it. The line didn’t break, but it’s lying right across the road.”

Representative: “Across the road from what?”

Me: “No, it’s LYING ACROSS THE ROAD!”

Representative: “ACROSS THE ROAD FROM WHAT?”

Me: “No, look; the power line goes from a pole on one side of the street to a pole on the other side there, okay? It crosses the street there. And right where it crosses the street, a tree fell on it, and now the power line is lying right across the road!”

Representative: “Across the road from WHAT?”

Me: “It’s not across the road from anything–look, there’s a downed power line on [street] and the POWER LINE is ON THE ROAD.”

Representative: “Oh, it’s actually on the road?”

Me: “YES!”

Representative: “Yeah, that’s not very safe. You shouldn’t go near it.”

Me: “We HAVE to, to get food, because the power’s been out for four days now.”

Representative: “Well, no one’s reported it out.”

Me: “I am reporting it out to you now; I guess everyone on our road just figured that someone else had already called it in.”

Representative: “So, the line isn’t actually broken?”

Me: “No, but there’s a really big tree on it stretching it all the way to the ground, and because of where it fell, and because the power line crosses the road right there, the power line is down in the middle of the road. Also our power is still out.”

Representative: “Yeah, if the line wasn’t actually broken it wouldn’t show up at our end. We figured when we fixed the break on [nearby street] it got everything back on out there. I’ll get someone out to check on it.”

Me: *heartfelt* “Thank you!”

(That was one of the stupidest conversations I’ve had in my entire life!)

Solar Power With Extra Flare

| Melbourne, Australia | Right | April 28, 2011

Me: “Welcome to [power company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I have solar panels, and I’m moving house. I was just
wondering if you could transfer the power?”

Me: “Oh, you wanted to know if you can take the panels to your new house? You’ll have to contact a solar company for that sir, but I don’t think so.”

Caller: “No. I don’t want to move the panels. Can’t you just move the power from them across? Like, through the air or by cable or something?”

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Who’s Got The Power Now, Part 2

| | Right | April 24, 2009

Caller: “I don’t care what your little book says, put my f***ing power on!”

Me: “I can’t do that for you unless you pay your debt in full, sir.”

Caller: “Why are you being a b**** about this? Just let it slide!”

Me: “We’ve been letting it slide for months, sir. You now owe us in excess of a thousand dollars. Our rules are very clear: we are not to reconnect your power until you pay your debt.”

Caller: “F*** you! I’m going to kill you! I’m going to come to your house and kill you!”

Me: “The difference between you and me, sir, is that I know where YOU live.”

Caller: *click*

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