Not Your Happy Place

, , , , , , | Romantic | November 1, 2017

Me: “You know that ‘Happy’ song that you really hate?”

Husband: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “I heard it playing somewhere when I was out running errands today. You know that part where it goes something like, ‘if you feel like a room without a roof?’”

Husband: “Yeah, I guess.”

Me: “Well, I was thinking. A room without a roof, eh. Wouldn’t that be a cubicle?”

Lettuce In For Some Puns

, , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(I’m shopping in the produce department of a local supermarket. One of the clerks is busy restocking the iceberg lettuce. Just as another customer is squeezing past, one of the lettuces falls off the cart and tumbles across the floor.)

Customer: “Heads will roll!”

Bringing In Some Punwood

, , , , , | Related | September 12, 2017

(I’m doing my shift at our family-owned store when my husband walks in unexpectedly with an armload of planks.)

Me: “What are you up to?”

Husband: “Oh, just lumbering around…”

Catching All The Classics

, , , , , | Hopeless | September 8, 2017

(A couple with a five- or six-year-old daughter is browsing in my bookstore. After checking out the children’s books for a bit, the girl comes up to my desk.)

Girl: “I like your music. It’s catchy.”

(This may have been the first time the Beethoven String Quartets were described as “catchy”, but you have great taste, little girl!)

Unfiltered Story #92611

, , , | Unfiltered | September 3, 2017

A couple with a five- or six-year old daughter is browsing in my bookstore. After checking out the children’s books for a bit, the girl comes up to my desk.

Girl: I like your music. It’s catchy.

(This may have been the first time the Beethoven String Quartets were described as “catchy”, but you have great taste, little girl!)