Sleeping On Their Job

, , , , , | Working | October 31, 2018

(I work nights, but I run a business on the side making jewellery and trinkets. As such, I tend to get a lot of deliveries during the day when I am asleep. My post people know this, and are really good at either knocking loudly to wake me when they need signatures or leaving it in one of our agreed safe places. They are also very understanding that I answer the door dishevelled, pyjama-clad, and largely unable to communicate. One day, after a long shift, I have been asleep for about three hours when there comes a loud knocking. I stumble out of bed, manage to get the keys in the door, and locate a smile to greet the post person at the door, as I have already spotted their uniform red shirt and logo through the glass. I notice right away that the woman staring me down is not only not one of my normal post people, but that she has a look on her face not dissimilar to the way one would greet a rancid dog poop that had just made unwanted contact with their favourite pair of shoes. I just brush it off as she thrusts the signing computer at me, and I scribble on it, waiting for her to give me my package so I can get back to bed. Instead of doing this, her look intensifies for an extended moment before she speaks.)

Postwoman: “You know, people like you make me sick.”

Me: *half asleep still* “Huh?”

Postwoman: “Sleeping all f****** day whilst honest people do honest work. Spending your benefits online.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Postwoman: “Just take your benefit-bought s***.”

(She violently thrust the package my way, and I managed to catch it in time. I was still too sleepy to actually form a proper reply to her words. This was lucky for her, because I have a temper, and I’d have probably shouted her ears off. Needless to say, though, I was on the phone to the depot in seconds, and I’m sure there was one heck of a telling-off for her when she got back for her next pickup. I think it may even have gotten her fired or reassigned to a different area, as I have not seen her in the week or two since the event.)

You Can’t Shred This Evidence

, , , , , , , | Working | October 30, 2018

Long ago, when I worked short day shifts in a local shop, I would leave my dog at home during the day and pop in to let him out mid-shift. He was always perfectly behaved, and never chewed anything or bothered the neighbors. I was therefore surprised one day to return home and find that he had shredded my post for the day. This happened two further days running, and I then received a warning from my local post office that my dog had “been threatening” towards the postman, and that I would need to secure him away from the letterbox or ensure he was not in the house alone if I wished for deliveries to continue. He is a gentle giant, who has never growled, barked, or shown any sign of aggression towards anyone; in fact he normally loves to say, “Hi,” to delivery folks.

Nonetheless, despite being puzzled by this, I restricted my dog’s access to the front door, got a post-cage just in case, and carried on the rest of the week until my days off. On my first day off following the warning, just for the sake of my own curiosity, I permitted the dog to react to the postman putting letters through the slot with full access to the door. Lo and behold, the postman arrived, and I heard him calling the dog, tapping on the door, and rattling the slot. I peeked out from the living room to see he was waving the letters around as though he was actively trying to get the dog to eat them.

The guy was actually trying to make the dog eat my mail and react to him.

Next day, I lay in wait with my camera and recorded the entire incident. I took the video up to the depot, asked to speak to the manager, and showed it to him. It turned out the same guy had been the one to complain that my dog had “been threatening” to him.

To this day I have no idea why someone would do this, and my dog never ate another letter. I also have no idea if they fired or retrained the postman in question, but I really hope so.

Won’t Be Beaten At The Post

, , | Right | August 16, 2018

(I am delivering mail. It’s my last week. I come to a house where the mailbox is not in the door, but next to the street. Next to the mailbox stands a woman. To prevent theft, if we can’t be sure the mail belongs to someone, we cannot give it to them.)

Woman: *calling from a distance, smiling cheerfully* “You can just hand the mail directly to me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but giving the mail to someone just standing next to the mailbox is against policy.”

(I arrive at the post-box in question.)

Woman: *suddenly angry* “Why?”

Me: “To prevent theft. Anyone could go stand out here.”

(I drop the mail into the mailbox.)

Woman: *sneers* “And your attitude, is that also policy?”

Me: *considering that, even if she complains, the company won’t have the time to fire me* “Yes, it is, madam!”

You’re Going To Prepay For That Outburst

, , , , , | Right | December 25, 2017

(I’ve worked in UPS’s retail store for a little over two years now and I can say from experience that Christmas time is not the most wonderful time of the year. If you think people don’t understand anything normally, they understand even less when under the stress of the holidays. In the store, packages come in with either prepaid shipping labels given to the customer by the company itself or labels that we print out at the store that the customer has to pay for. I am the only employee in the store and am already stuck with a line of people.)

Customer #1: *puts small box on the counter* “The company told me I didn’t have to pay to ship this back.”

Me: “There isn’t a prepaid shipping label on here. Do you want me to give you a quote and see how much it would be to ship?”

Customer #1: “Are you serious? I was told this was free! How much is this going to cost me!?”

Me: “That’s going to be about $12 to ship back.”

Customer #1: “WHAT?! That’s ridiculous! I shouldn’t have to pay for this. The company told me it was free! How dare you people try to rip me off!”

(The woman proceeds to switch between yelling at me and mumbling to herself and refusing to pay so I try to help the customers behind her.)

Customer #1: *storms out but stops at the door and turns to me* “MERRY CHRISTMAS, B****!”

Me: *stares at her dumbfounded, and then just turns to help the next customer* “Uh.. I’m so sorry about that.”

Customer #2: “Oh, my god. All right, well, I need to ship these toys to [Location].”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *finishes shipment and customer goes to leave*

Customer #2: “Merry Christmas, b****!”

Me: “Merry Christmas to you, too!”

Mail Order Disorder

, , , , , , , | Working | November 10, 2017

(I travel a lot and unfortunately have been getting sick a lot recently. I get a loud banging on my door, so I go check it and all I see is a pink slip from a delivery company that says, “vacant?” I go check my mail and there are three letters in there. A week later, I get the banging again and grab the door to see a postal worker standing there.)

Postal Worker: “You need to check your mail more! I thought you were vacant!”

Me: “I travel a lot, and I’ve recently been too sick to move. Usually I check it every other day.”

Postal Worker: “I don’t believe you! You have at least three weeks of mail piled up at the post office.”

Me: “Yeah, right. Also, you see that mezuzah on my door? Clear sign that it’s not vacant because Jews don’t leave a home without them. So, stop harassing me and give me the dumb slip so I can get my three weeks worth of junk mail!”

Postal Worker: “It’s in the mail box.” *he walks away*

Me: “No, it’s not! You were just writing it. I can see it in your hand!”

(No response.)

Me: “Fine! I’ll be there soon. I hope your coworkers got their flu shots!”

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