This Phone-y Claim Doesn’t Ring True

| North Carolina, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

(I am working the front counter at the post office. Customer #1 is in front of me, while Customers #2 and #3 are at the center counter filling out paperwork.)

Customer #2: “Hey, have you seen my cellphone?”

Customer #3: “I thought you brought it in with you.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, so did I. Can you call it for me?’

(Customer #3 obliges and dials Customer #2’s phone. Surprisingly, a phone starts ringing. Customer #2 walks around by the front of the counter and looks at Customer #1.)

Customer #1: “Ma’am, I think my phone is in your purse.”

Customer #1: “No, you must be mistaken. That’s my phone.”

Customer #2: “Well, if it’s your phone, aren’t you going to answer it?”

Customer #1: “I think I’ll let it go to voicemail.”

Me: “Ma’am, I think you need to show us that phone.”

(She reluctantly reaches into her purse and brings out the phone. Customer #2 takes the phone.)

Customer #2: “That is MY phone!”

Customer #1: “Oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot. I did find it on the counter and I was going to turn it in, but I got distracted…”

(Moral of the story: if you’re going to steal a cellphone, have the sense to turn the ringer off!)

Best Not Berate Bob Or You’ll Get The Boot

| New Jersey, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

(I go to my local post office several times a week. One the employees, Bob, always has a smile on his face no matter what. One day, I come in and see he’s the only one working. There’s a long line due to many large and complicated orders. A customer comes in behind me, sees the long line, and starts complaining about the slow service.)

Customer: “It’s much faster at [other] post office. Don’t you think they are slow here?”

Me: “No. I think there are a lot of people, it’s lunch time, and Bob there is going as fast as he can.”

Customer: “They are much faster at [other] office.”

Me: “No, they aren’t. That’s why I come here. Bob’s as fast as he can be. Look, he’s not slacking. You can see he’s working as fast as possible.”

Customer: “But they are so rude here!”

(Now I’m angry. This office, and Bob, in particular, is never rude.)

Me: “No, they are not rude. They are nice, even when they have to deal with people like you.”

Customer: *stomps around* “Well, I’m never coming here again! Everyone is rude and slow! Next time, I’m going to [other] office instead!”

Me: “Why don’t you just go there now?”

Customer: “I will!”

(As she leaves, all the other customers nod in relief and the tension in the line disappears.)

Bob: *still smiling, to me* “Thank you.”

Around The Competition In 80 Minutes

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Money

Customer: “I’d like to overnight these documents to Israel.”

(I process the service.)

Me: “That will be $145.00, please.”

Customer: *jaw drops* “Why is it so much?!”

Me: “Because you want it on the other side of the world tomorrow.”

Customer: “No deal! I’m going to [competitor #1] or [competitor #2]!”

Me: “Okay, have a nice day!”

(Over an hour later, the customer returns, having found that our competitor charges even more for the service.)

Customer: *quietly* “Do you take Visa?”