Won’t Be Sold Short(bread)

, , , , | Right | April 12, 2018

(I  work as a barista for a popular coffee shop chain. It’s coming up to closing time, and my coworker and I are the last two left on shift. My coworker is on drinks and I’m on till. We have a customer come up to the counter and place an order:)

Customer: “I’d like a mocha and one of those caramel shortcakes.”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am. Just give us a moment to get that ready for you!”

(Our cakes come pre-sliced, so they are virtually all the same; regardless, I try to sell it like the best one there, to make them feel special.)

Me: “Here we go! Picked you out the best slice I could see!”

Customer: “Um… No.”

Me: “Is there a problem with this one?”

Customer: “Well… It’s not got a lot of chocolate on it?”

Me: *looking between the slice and the identical 20+ slices left in the chiller* “I think you’ll find that each slice is exactly the sam—”

Customer: “NOW, SEE HERE! I’ve been eating caramel shortbreads since before you were born! And I’ve had them from your shop many times before! Give me another one!”

Me: “Right away.”

(I take the plate and I pick up the slice with tongs, put the slice back, pick up the same one again, put it on a new plate, and hand it back over.)

Customer: “See?! Was that so hard!? I won’t be sold short; I know what my caramel shortbreads look like!”

(She paid with a huff and stormed off with her coffee and cake. I should add that all our cakes are behind glass, so she could see the whole thing. My coworker was desperately trying not to laugh out loud as the customer walked away.)

Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 10

, , , , , , | Working | January 29, 2018

(A colleague buys a new car, notifies his insurance company, and asks for a cover letter ASAP. Time goes by, no cover letter, so he phones them.)

Representative: “So sorry, sir. We’ll send it out straight away.”

(As you can probably guess, no letter. This happens three more times. On the fourth call, the representative decides to try a new approach.)

Representative: “I’m sorry, sir. The letter was about to be sent, but we had a computer error.”

Colleague: “What sort of error?”

Representative: “Well, sir, it’s very technical. I doubt you’d understand.”

Colleague: “Can you see my details on your screen?”

Representative: “Yes, sir.”

Colleague: “Does it say my employer?”

Representative: “Yes, sir. IBM UK, Ltd.”

Colleague: “Does it give my job title?”

Representative: “Yes, sir. Uh… senior systems programmer.”

Colleague: “So, tell me about this computer error.”

Representative: “Sir, being completely frank now, we screwed up. I’ll make sure it goes out today.”

(Two days later, he finally got the insurance cover note.)

Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 9
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 8
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 7