Unfiltered Story #115775

, , , | Unfiltered | July 4, 2018

(In downtown Portsmouth there is an independent coffee shop down the street from a Starbucks. Besides coffee, they also sell tea and assorted baked goods. The place gets frequented by bikers, especially when the weather is nice and they can sit outside with their food and drinks. A ditzy bimbo, obviously from out of town, is on her phone.)

DB to girl behind counter: “Just a [complicated Starbucks-style order].” (goes back to her phone.)

(The girl behind counter, as well as everyone who heard her gives her a O.o kind of look.)

(After about a minute she stops talking and looks at the girl) “I need a [whatever] right now. Hurry up! I’m in a rush!”

A huge biker standing right behind her taps her on the shoulder and says, “This ain’t Starbucks, *****. Be nice, order something normal, or get the **** out.”

(Bimbo’s eyes got REAL big as she looked at the guy, said “I have to call you back” to her phone, and boogied out the door.)

These Callers Have Inky Intent

, , , , | Working | June 25, 2018

(I occasionally get calls on my personal cell phone from people I work with, so I have gotten in the habit of always answering my phone by stating my name if it is from a number I don’t recognize. One morning I get a call that appears as “No Caller ID.” I normally don’t answer these, but I have also recently entered a radio sweepstakes, so I decide to answer on the off-chance they want to tell me I’ve just won $1,000.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name].”

Caller: “Hi, [My Name], how are you doing this morning?

Me: “Fine, how are you?”

Caller: “Oh, you know, can’t complain. Say, could you tell me who supplies the ink and everything for the printer?”

Me: “What printer?”

Caller: “You guys don’t use a printer or fax?”

Me: “I don’t own a printer, no. And this is my personal number, not a business.”

Caller: *suddenly offended* “Oh, well, you said this is [My Name].” *click*

(I wasn’t aware that I was a business!)

The Darkest Cloud On This Day Is You

, , , , , | Working | May 16, 2018

(I work for a real estate office. I am getting ready to take time off for my wedding, so I have notified all the agents that I will be unavailable, and told them the reason why. I get a few kind words and wishes throughout the week as people see me, and then there is this interaction. I will also add that, throughout this whole conversation, the agent remains completely deadpan.)

Agent: *approaches me* “I believe congratulations are in order.”

Me: “Thank you!”

Agent: “Is it an outdoor wedding?”

Me: “Yes, it is outdoors, so we have been keeping an eye on the weather, but it looks like it should be a clear day.”

Agent: “Oh, you’ll have plenty of cloudy days ahead. Don’t you worry.”

(With that, she left.)

The Beard Knows…

, , , , , , | Working | May 1, 2018

I work in a real-estate office. Our agents are in and out constantly, as is the nature of the business, but it’s a great group of people to work with and for, and a lot of pretty awesome interactions occur.

One of my favorites is around mid-October. A few of the men have started growing beards for the colder months ahead. One day, a male agent is entering the office and another male agent is leaving, both bearing noticeable chin scruff where they had previously been clean-shaven. They are about to cross paths when they both stop and stare at each other for a few seconds. They then simultaneously point at each other, gave a knowing nod, and then pass each other and go about their business, all without saying a word.

Won’t Be Sold Short(bread)

, , , , | Right | April 12, 2018

(I  work as a barista for a popular coffee shop chain. It’s coming up to closing time, and my coworker and I are the last two left on shift. My coworker is on drinks and I’m on till. We have a customer come up to the counter and place an order:)

Customer: “I’d like a mocha and one of those caramel shortcakes.”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am. Just give us a moment to get that ready for you!”

(Our cakes come pre-sliced, so they are virtually all the same; regardless, I try to sell it like the best one there, to make them feel special.)

Me: “Here we go! Picked you out the best slice I could see!”

Customer: “Um… No.”

Me: “Is there a problem with this one?”

Customer: “Well… It’s not got a lot of chocolate on it?”

Me: *looking between the slice and the identical 20+ slices left in the chiller* “I think you’ll find that each slice is exactly the sam—”

Customer: “NOW, SEE HERE! I’ve been eating caramel shortbreads since before you were born! And I’ve had them from your shop many times before! Give me another one!”

Me: “Right away.”

(I take the plate and I pick up the slice with tongs, put the slice back, pick up the same one again, put it on a new plate, and hand it back over.)

Customer: “See?! Was that so hard!? I won’t be sold short; I know what my caramel shortbreads look like!”

(She paid with a huff and stormed off with her coffee and cake. I should add that all our cakes are behind glass, so she could see the whole thing. My coworker was desperately trying not to laugh out loud as the customer walked away.)

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