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This Bank Is So Cancelled

, , , , , , | Working | January 5, 2021

I am a female in my twenties. I am on my bank mobile app reviewing purchases and withdrawals from the last few months when I notice a couple of charges on my debit card that I don’t recognize. After determining that they came from two online stores that I have never visited, I decide that I should cancel the card and get a new one issued. The charges only total about $6, but I know thieves will sometimes test a card with a small purchase to see if it works before making a larger one.

I drive to the bank and ask the teller about how to get a new card, and they direct me to a specific manager’s office.

Me: “Hello, I was told you could help me get a new debit card issued. There have been some fraudulent charges on—”

Manager: *Interrupting me* “Are you sure they were fraudulent?”

Me: *Pauses* “Yes? I reviewed where the charges came from and I don’t recognize them.”

Manager: “You must just not remember. Happens all the time. I’m sure you went on a shopping spree with your friends and forgot about something that you bought.”

I am definitely not the type of person to go on random “shopping sprees” with my friends nor forget what I purchased, and it irks me that she is stereotyping me in this way, but I try to remain calm.

Me: “Um, no. These charges came from online stores that I have never even heard of. If you bring up my checking account, I can show you. One was on [date] and another was on [date].”

Manager: “We can’t refund those. We can only refund you if the purchase was made less than thirty days ago. If you really thought someone was using your card, you should have come in sooner.”

Me: “I understand that. The charges were only about $6 and I didn’t notice them until very recently, so if I can’t get reimbursed that is fine. I just want to cancel this card and get a new one.”

Manager: “It’s gonna be a long process to get a new one, you know. You won’t have a debit card for several weeks until the new one comes in. Are you sure you didn’t just forget you bought something? This is going to be a lot of trouble over only $6.”

Me: “Yes, I am positive. I have other credit cards I can use, or cash. It’s not about the $6. I do not want more, larger fraudulent charges showing up on my bank account, so I would like a new debit card.”

She eyes me for a moment longer, as if waiting for me to realize I’m making a huge mistake.

Manager: “Fine, I will cancel your card and order a replacement. Your new card will be mailed to you.”

I eventually received and activated my new card without any issue, and I thought this was the end of it, until about a year later. I received a parcel in the mail from my bank, and I was surprised to find it contained another debit card… with my old card number and an updated expiration date. The card, it seems, was never cancelled, so I’ve apparently had two open debit cards attached to my bank account for over a year. Luckily, it doesn’t appear that any more fraudulent charges were made, but I will be calling my bank tomorrow and demanding to speak to anyone ELSE who can cancel my old card.

Yet Another Christmas Miracle!

, , , , , , , | Right | December 22, 2020

I work as a seasonal cashier in a specialized gift shop over the holidays. I have just finished ringing up a customer.

Customer: “Thank you very much! Merry Christmas!”

Me: “You’re welcome! Merry Christmas to you, too!”

After the customer leaves, my coworker walks up to me.

Coworker: “Hey, didn’t you say you were an atheist?”

Me: “Um, yeah?”

Coworker: “Oh, I was just wondering if you ever get upset when people tell you ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘God bless you.’”

As I am about to reply, I overhear a customer talking not so quietly to her husband.

Customer: “Dear, did you hear? That girl doesn’t believe in God! How despicable! She shouldn’t even be working here!”

I turn to my coworker, just loud enough so the customer can hear:

Me: “No, I don’t get upset when people have different religious beliefs than me. Just because I’m atheist doesn’t mean I’m not an honest, decent person, or that I can’t accept that others have the right to believe what they want.”

My coworker realizes what I am doing.

Coworker: “Yeah. It’s a real shame other people can’t keep their opinions to themselves. I especially hate it when someone claiming to be Christian doesn’t act very Christlike by judging others.”

The customer, now thoroughly embarrassed, tells her husband to finish his shopping while she waits for him outside. She whispers something else to him before she leaves. A few moments later, the husband walks up with his purchase.

Customer’s Husband: “Hello. My wife wanted me to tell you she was very sorry, and that she was too ashamed to apologize herself.”

Me: “No problem, sir! Please tell her that her apology is accepted, and to have a very Merry Christmas!”

Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 14

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2020

I work in a grocery store bakery. Our bakery does not have a register and no one in the bakery is trained to use one. This customer approaches my counter when I’m just about to close and am the only person in the department.

Customer: “How much are these croissants?”

Me: “They’re $3.99, $2 with a club card.”

Customer: “I don’t have one of your stupid cards. Here, just take four.”

The customer tries to hand me cash.

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have a register; you have to pay for that up front or in the deli department next door.”

Customer: “I’m not walking all the way up front! Stop being lazy and just take the f****** money!”

Me: “Your purchases need to go through a register, and I’m not even trained to use one. Please stop trying to hand me your money and go find a clerk to process your transaction.”

Customer: “F*** you! I can’t believe you won’t let me pay you because you’re lazy. Get me a manager! I’m going to have your stupid a** fired!” 

Me: “Mmkay.”

I page over a manager and the customer is “nice” enough to explain the entire situation exactly before I can speak, albeit belligerently and loudly.

Manager: “Ma’am, every purchase needs to go through a register so we can keep track of what is sold and how much money is being earned; that’s how a business works.”

Customer: “Shut up! Thieves!”

The customer throws her money in my face and runs out of the store with the croissants.

Me: “So, uh, what now?” 

The manager picks up the money and begins counting.

Manager: “She left $20.” *Shuffles through it* “Here’s $16; consider it a tip. Too tired to deal with this s***.”

Related:
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 13
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 12
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 11
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 10
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 9

Elephants Never Forget; Not So With Humans

, , , , , , , | Related | October 22, 2020

My family is playing board games one night, and we are playing a game where you build a city and place people in it to gain points. My mom places her tile but doesn’t have any people to place on her tile so she doesn’t get any points.

Me: “That’s what you get for spreading yourself too thin. Wasn’t that Napoleon’s problem?”

Brother: “No, he attacked Russia in winter.”

Me: “Then who am I thinking of?”

Brother: “Alexander the Great. But he also attacked Russia in winter.”

Me: “But he had elephants.”

Brother: “No, that was Hannibal.”

Wish You Could Chew This Customer Out

, , , , | Right | September 12, 2020

Me: “Hello, this is [Doctor]’s office. How may I help you?”

All I hear are very loud chewing and crunching noises. I wait for a half a minute, in case the caller was just finishing up a quick snack before they called.

Me: “Hello? Are you there? Can you hear me?”

Nope, still eating. I wait another half minute. The whole time, the caller doesn’t say anything but keeps eating. The sounds are making me feel nauseated, but I don’t want to just hang up on them.

Me: “Would you like to call back when you’re finished with your lunch?”

The caller chews faster and then swallows very audibly.

Caller: “No, thanks, I’m done now!”

The phone number to this office doesn’t have a hold queue, and most of the regular patients, including the one who called, are aware of this. I get that people are busy and can only call the doctor during their lunch break, but there is no excuse for calling while you’re in the middle of eating.