Aim Low, Achieve High

, , | Tulsa, OK, USA | Friendly | January 26, 2017

The movie is over and I need to pee. The men’s restroom is full and the lines for the urinals are about seven deep.

Except for one.

You know the one. The one set about a foot lower for the kids. Everyone is looking at it, but nobody is willing to use it. I’m the sort of person who talks in elevators. I guess it’s up to me.

I stand in front of it. Relief.

Boom! Line six deep behind me. But I’m out without waiting. Fortune favors those who are not shy.

The Lack Of A Sign Was A Bad Sign

, , | Portage, IN, USA | Friendly | December 28, 2016

My husband, son, I, and our very large dog (100lb+) have decided to spend the morning at the beach. We’ve been to that beach several times before and none of the signage said dogs are forbidden; the only sign to mention dogs simply states that they must be leashed at all times.

After we have been there for about two hours, two teenagers in [National Park] t-shirts approach and rather rudely orders us off the beach, claiming that dogs aren’t allowed.

We are more than a bit put out by the unnecessary attitude and their claims, so we tell them that we will be waiting right where we are for their supervisor to come speak with us. After an almost 20 minute wait the supervisor comes over and, with no attitude at least, tries telling us the same bit about dogs not being allowed. After a bit of conversation we finally find out that there, supposedly, is in fact a “no dogs allowed on the beach” sign… buried under a rock slide at the end of a closed off, dead end walkway, the rockslide having happened two years before! I still don’t know how on earth we were expected to have known about that.

The icing on the cake was when at least three different people walked by us, their very small dogs with them, while we were talking with the supervisor, and she wouldn’t say a word to them despite us pointing it out.

If a rule is a rule then it should apply to everyone. It also shouldn’t be hidden like a game collectable either.

A Bit Too Much Hasa Diga Eebowai

, , | Boston, MA, USA | Friendly | December 27, 2016

Last year, a friend of mine and I go to see “The Book of Mormon,” a raunchy, funny musical about two Mormon missionaries trying to convert the people of an African village.

Partway through the performance, a prop breaks at the beginning of a scene, stopping the play short. An announcement goes out to the audience that they are experiencing some minor technical difficulties, and that the play will resume once they are fixed. After the announcement ends, a murmur rises as everyone starts talking among themselves. A couple moments later, a random man in the audience shouts, “IT’S THE WILL OF GOD!”

Everyone lost it, including my friend and me. The entire audience is laughing. My friend is actually sitting at such an angle that she saw the guy shout, so we knew it wasn’t just the announcer again. It was a brilliant moment of improv that probably stopped a lot of people from getting frustrated at the play’s technical issues.

Ten minutes later, the problems were fixed, and the play resumed like nothing happened. It was a great, very funny play, but that guy’s comment is the part we remember best. Cheers to you, random guy, wherever you are.

The Meat Of The Matter

, , , , , | PA, USA | Friendly | December 14, 2016

I take the bus to do my food shopping. I am sitting there with three or four bags at my feet when a college-aged girl sits next to me. I thought it is strange since there are only two other passengers and plenty of empty seats.

The next thing I know this girl is digging into my bags and screaming at me… “Meat is murder! Murderer!”

I get up, grab my bags from her, and force my way out of the seat to sit on the other side. The whole time this girl is getting louder and louder to the point the bus driver stops the bus and tells her to be quiet.

It takes two police officers to get her off the bus. She is screaming for them to arrest the murderer (me) as the police drove off with her in the back of the car.

If she was that against meat, she should have stayed out of my groceries!

Did A Job On You

, , , , | UK | Friendly | December 12, 2016

I am autistic and because of this have always come off as… odd. Odd enough most people don’t want to hire me.

I am in the job centre to look at the jobs available so I can apply when a man walks over and starts talking to me. I try to be polite as he insists on continuing to talk until finally he says “I’m from [Local Church] group.c

I smile and say that I’m not interested, leafing through the information pages of the jobs. Finally he comments on my accent.

I am English born and raised, but my autism has given me a strong northern American accent. I explain that to him, making a joke about it making me unique like I always do even as I feel myself wilting inside. I find social interaction exhausting.

The next thing I know, the man puts his hand on my shoulder and says “I am so sorry to hear that!” Like I have a terminal disease and I only have three days to live. And I am panicking because I hate being touched and he’s looking me straight in the eyes as he says this. “But one day the lord will help you.”

And that’s when I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the building still carrying the paper. Never went back and ended up being signed off work from stress.

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