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When Water Wings Become Angel Wings

, , | Right | October 7, 2009

(Our pool doesn’t allow children who are non-swimmers to be in the pool without their parent. A mom comes in and throws her child in the pool with water wings and goes to leave the pool.)

Me: “Ma’am, you cannot let your child in the pool without you in there with him.”

Customer: “Well, why?”

Me: “It is unsafe for a non-swimmer to be in this deep of water alone.

Customer: “He can swim just fine! I put his wings on.”

Me: “It is possible for him to drown even with wings on.”

Customer: “If he does, just call me and I will come swim with him!”

Dim Witted And Off The Deep End

, , , , , | Right | September 4, 2009

Me: “Hello, this is [Pool]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What are your sessions today?”

Me: “Our sessions today are 12:30 to 4:30 and 7:15 to dark.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *more slowly and clearly, but still polite* “Our sessions today are 12:30 to 4:30 and 7:15 to dark–around 9:00 pm.”

Customer: “What’s dark?”

Me: “Around 9:00 pm.”

Customer: “No, what is dark?”

Me: “When the… sun goes down?”

Customer: “Oh, how rude!” *click*


This story is part of the Swimming Pool roundup!

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Read the Swimming Pool roundup!

Try The New Pool At Hogwarts

, , , | Right | August 21, 2009

Customer: “Why is it that your pool is so small?”

Me: “It is a therapeutics pool, geared towards people to do their exercises.”

Customer: “So, there is no other pool in this building?”

Me: “No, there is no other pool in this building, but there is one up the street.”

Customer: “Can’t you just make it bigger?”


This story is part of the Confused-With-Science-themed roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Hilarious Stories About Customers Versus Mother Nature

 

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Read the Confused-With-Science-themed roundup!

No, Really: Sink Or Swim

, , , | Right | August 14, 2009

(I’m manning the rope swing we have at the deep end of the pool. A guy in his mid- to late-30s comes up to me.)

Guy: “Um, is this safe for me to have a go?”

Me: “Sure, adults can use this. You’ve just got to be able to swim in deep water.”

Guy: “Yes, yes. But it can hold my weight, right? It won’t break?”

Me: “No, it’s safe. The water would break your fall anyway.”

Guy: “Oh, okay.”

(The guy grabs the rope, swings out and purposely lets go. However, instead of swimming, he begins sinking to the bottom with his hands weakly flapping as he tries unsuccessfully to pull himself up. I immediately dive in and pull him up. After I’ve gotten him out…)

Guy: “You said it was safe!”

Me: “You said you could swim!”

Maybe He’s Molting

, , , | Right | April 11, 2009

(Many young couples with young children belong to my pool, and many of them ask a lot of questions. A man leads his six-year-old son into our guard office.)

Pool Patron: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Me: “Yes, sir? Can I help you?”

Pool Patron: “I’m very scared my son is in trouble.”

Me: “Is he okay? Did he hurt himself in the pool? Are there any major injuries?”

Pool Patron: “His skin is all wrinkled and soft. It feels strange. Is it going to fall off?”

Me: “Sir, that happens to everyone’s skin who has been in water for an extended period of time.”

Pool Patron: “So, his skin won’t fall off, right?”