Pooling Together Some Odd Rules

| The Netherlands | Working | November 6, 2016

(I’m about ten years old. My two friends and I want to go swimming. It’s early spring, and though the outside pool is open, there is no one using it since it’s too cold. We buy our tickets without a problem, change into our bathing suits, and head for the pool, when we are stopped by a pool boy.)

Pool Boy: “I’m sorry, you girls aren’t allowed in here.”

Friend #1: “Why not?”

Pool Boy: “Only people over the age of 15 can come in today!”

(We see a tanned girl our age running past us at the very same second.)

Friend #2: “But she can come in!” *pointing at the girl*

Pool Boy: “Yes. She’s Islamic. Only people over 15 and Islamic people may use the pool today.”

(At that moment I spot a mother with two toddlers.)

Me: “And what about them? Those are two little girls!”

Pool Boy: “Only people above 15, Islamic, or under four years old may use the pool today! You can use the outdoor pool though.”

All Of Us: “But it’s freezing out there!”

Pool Boy: “None of my business. You’re not coming in.”

(We decide this has no use. Not knowing what to do, two of us stay at the shower area, where we are allowed apparently, while my friend goes outside to find someone who can help us. We get loads of questions from other pool guests why were are just standing there. When we explain we’re not allowed in, everyone thinks it is an outrage. Eventually my friend comes back, crying and with a bleeding foot. She tripped over a loose tile. Pool boy comes back.)

Pool Boy: “And now you are soiling the shower area with your blood? Get out! You are not allowed in here!”

(We had enough, get dressed again, and go home. Our moms called the pool and no one was aware of any rule that excluded anyone who wasn’t Islamic, over 15, or under 4.)

Samey Amy

| Dublin, Ireland | Friendly | October 24, 2016

(I am terrible at remembering names. I take a lifesaving class every week with a girl I’m friendly with and talk to during every class, but I can never remember her name. I come up with what I think is a genius plan to find out her name without admitting I forgot it.)

Me: “How do you pronounce your name again?”

Girl: *slowly and clearly* “Amy.”

A New Milestone In Unreliability

| Bay Area, CA | Working | October 21, 2016

(I’ve been so swamped at work that I forgot to put out a group birthday card for an employee’s milestone birthday, as is customary at my workplace. The reason I’ve been swamped at work is people have been no-call, no-showing on an incredibly frequent basis.)

Me: “Oh, no, I forgot to get a birthday card for [Unreliable Employee]!”

Coworker: “Well, [Unreliable Employee] forgot to come to work.”

Pooling Together Your Belief

| OH, USA | Related | October 18, 2016

(Our six-year-old grandson has begun repeating, “I believe in myself” while attempting a difficult or scary situation. While trying to teach him to float in the pool, he gets too scared and demands to be taken to the side of the pool.)

Me: “What happened to believing in yourself?”

Grandson: “I believe in myself… hanging on the edge of the pool.”

Drowning In Audacity

| AR, USA | Friendly | October 15, 2016

(My mom and I are at a public pool. An older lady comes up with her granddaughter, who is about my age, maybe eight or nine.)

Old Lady: “Can you watch my granddaughter while I go to the bathroom?”

Mom: “Sure!”

(The lady walks away and doesn’t come back for 45-60 minutes. Meanwhile, the kid has almost DROWNED me in the pool by daring me to hold my breath and then holding me under. After 55 minutes, my mom calls the lifeguard.)

Old Lady: “Oh there you are, [Kid]! Let’s go.”

(Turned out she was in the adult pool the whole time!)

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