A-Salted With Your Fishy Tale

| NJ, USA | Right | April 18, 2016

Me: “Hello, this is [Pool Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *on the phone* “Hi, I just bought a house with a pool and had some questions.”

Me: “Certainly. First I need to know if it’s a salt or freshwater pool.”

Customer: “I don’t know; how could I find that out?”

Me: “I need to you check to see if you have a salt generator or not.”

Customer: “All right, I think it’s a salt pool. How would I start it up?”

Me: “Do you know the gallonage of your pool?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s [average size pool].”

Me: “All right. Well, looking at my chart, you’re going to need 625lbs of salt to reach the required concentration if the concentration is currently 0ppm.”

Customer: “That’s a lot of salt.”

Me: “Yes, it is, sir.”

Customer: “How would I add the salt?”

Me: “Just toss it into the pool; there’s no special way of adding it.”

Customer: “That’s not how you do it.”

Me: “Yes, it is, sir. There may be other systems out there but if it’s our pool then you don’t have a special salt system attached.”

Customer: “Are you sure that’s how you add it?”

Me: “Yes. You want to raise your salt level to between 3000ppm and 3500ppm and to go to that from scratch, for your size pool, you need to add 625lbs of salt.”

Customer: “All right. Is it going to taste like salt?”

Me: “That’s a common misconception with salt pools. If the salt is within that range you won’t taste salt; if it’s 6000pm or higher you may.”

Customer: “So you’re telling me I need to add 1250lbs of salt?”

Me: “Not unless you want to taste salt.”

Customer: “What if I want to?”

Me: “Why would you want to taste salt?”

Customer: “Because I want it to be like the ocean.”

Me: “Ok…”

Customer: “How much salt would I have to add to my pool to be able to put fish in and swim.”

Me: “Are you telling me you want to make an open air salt water aquarium out of your pool?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then I suggest you talk to a pet store. We can sell the salt but I have no experience in maintaining marine life.”

Explanations As Clear As Water

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Right | December 30, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pool Store], how may I help?”

Caller: “How much would a new pump be for my pool?”

Me: “Have you got an in-ground or an above-ground?”

Caller: *long pause* “I don’t know.”

Me: “You don’t know?”

Caller: “No! How could I?”

Me: “Alright. Go into your back yard, and run at the pool. If you fall in, it’s probably an in-ground. If you bounce off, it’s an above-ground.”

1 Thumbs
4,680
VOTES

Chlorine Wishes And Door Knob Dreams

| | Right | December 30, 2008

Customer: “Hi, what kinds of door knobs do you carry?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t have any door knobs.”

Customer: “What?! WHY NOT?”

Me: “Um…because this is a pool supply store.”

Customer: “This is totally unacceptable! I came here to get a new set of door knobs for my garage, and you’re telling me that you won’t sell me any?”

Me: “Yeah, pretty much.”

Customer: “You are so rude! I demand to know the name of the manager! I’m going to complain about this – I hope you liked your job!”

Me: “I do like my job, as a matter of fact. Here you go.”

(I hand her my business card, which states that I am the store manager.).

Me: “Just call this number and I’m sure you’ll be taken care of.”

(The customer grumbles and walks out. She gets into her car and proceeds to call the number on the business card I just handed her.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was just in one of your stores, and the employee was incredibly rude to me. He refused to sell me a set of door knobs.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way ma’am, but as I just told you when you were in the store, we do not sell door knobs.”

Customer: “I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER! NOW!”

Me: “You are, ma’am. I am the store manager.”

(The customer screams and hangs up, then speeds away in her car. In the process, she cuts off a police officer, who promptly pulls her over.)

1 Thumbs
6,678
VOTES