On The Straight And Narrow (Minded), Part 4

| OR, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am female. I work at a pool as a lifeguard/swimming instructor/supervisor for a few summers. The town is extremely conservative, and I am dating another woman.)

Me: *picks up phone* “Hello, this is [Pool]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve heard there’s a [lesbian slur] working at your pool. How can you let her around the children?”

Me: “Ma’am, our employees personal lives are not our business.”

Customer: “Well, I want her fired. It’s inappropriate.”

Me: “You do realize it’s illegal to fire someone based on their sexuality in this state, right?”

Customer: “I don’t f****** care. I don’t want her around my daughter! She’ll fill her head with horrible ideas and make her a sinner!”

(By now, my boss has noticed that I’m about to cry, so she picks the phone up and tells me to hang up. I only hear my boss talking. Note: My boss is a 50-year-old mother of two that comes off as quiet, and I’ve never heard her curse before.)

Boss: “Ma’am, that’s not how we operate here.” *pause* “Well, f*** you, too. All of our employees are valuable members of the team, and I’d rather lose you as a customer than her as a family member. You are no longer welcome here.”

Related:

On The Straight And Narrow (Minded), Part 3

On The Straight And Narrow (Minded), Part 2

On The Straight And Narrow (Minded)

 

Unable To Swim Through His Bigotry

| OR, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre

(I work at a pool where all the supervisors and managers are female. The only male employees teach swimming lessons or life guard. It’s a small pool, so there’s normally only two or three of us on duty. I was supervising a very quiet open swim with a male coworker. I’m 24 and he’s 16.)

Customer: “I need to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I am the manager, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: “No, you’re not. I need to talk to the maaaaaanageeeeeeeer.”

Me: “I AM the manager. What do you need?”

Customer: “No, you can’t help me. I need the man out on deck right now.”

Me: “Sir, the guard on deck has been working here for less than two weeks. I’ve been here for over six years. What do you need?”

Customer: “Never mind. I’ll just ask him when he’s off.”

(I switch with my coworker a few minutes later. Not even a minute after, he comes out on deck to ask me to help the man who had been bothering me earlier.)

Me: “Are you willing to let me help you now?”

Customer: “YOU can’t help me. I want to speak to your boss.”

Me: *seeing where this is going* “My boss is also a woman. So is about 75% of this staff, which is fairly common in an aquatic environment. Now can I help you or not?”

Customer: “Fine. I need change for a dollar.”

Going Too H2-Slow

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I work at a gym that’s rather expensive, so all of the clients are rather well off. I’m a lifeguard year round, since they have both an indoor and an outdoor pool.)

Woman: “Hi. The indoor pool is too cold. My child is absolutely freezing.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can provide your child with warm towels directly from the dryer if he needs to be warmed up quickly.”

Woman: “No, I just need you to heat up the pool. ”

Me: “The pool is heated, ma’am, but unfortunately, we can’t directly control the temperature of the pool.”

Woman: *getting angry* “What do you mean you can’t control it?! Just pour a bunch of hot water in it!”

Me: “Ma’am, there are almost half a million gallons of water in this pool. We couldn’t possibly get enough water to meet your demands.”

Woman: “Well, you’re not doing your job, then. I’ll be speaking to your manager!” *storms off in a fit of pretentious rage*

Blind To The Naked Truth

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Health & Body

(I’m a lifeguard. I get a complaint that the ladies changing room is dirty. I go in to clean it up. I am approached by an elderly patron who is as naked as the day she was born.)

Patron: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Umm… sure. Go ahead.”

Patron: “Do you like working in a pool?”

Me: “Yeah. It’s not the greatest job in the world, but it’s better than working retail or fast food.”

Patron: “I think I would hate it! I mean, you must see lots of people wearing clothes that they’re too fat for.”

Me: “Yeah. That happens occasionally. Fortunately, I don’t need to stare at them. I just need to make sure they’re not drowning every thirty seconds or so.”

Patron: “But still! So many fat people come here! And then you poor souls have to clean up the changing rooms, where so many people walk around completely naked without any shame!”

(The patron is still standing there in all her naked glory.)

Me: “Yeah. It’s even more awkward when the patron engages me in a long conversation.”

Patron: “Exactly! Some people just have no shame!”

Drowning In Incompetence

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I observe an exchange between a lifeguard, a mother, and the manager. The life guard has just jumped in and saves a three year old from drowning.)

Mother: “Why did you just grab my kid?”

Lifeguard: “He had wandered too deep and couldn’t touch the bottom; I pulled him out because he was drowning.”

Mother: “He was just playing. He was perfectly fine.”

Lifeguard: “Ma’am, his head was under water and he could not breathe. ”

Mother: “I DEMAND to see your manager!”

(The manager, who has witnessed the whole thing, walks over and takes the mother to his office. After about 10 minutes he returns and begins talking to the lifeguard.)

Manager: “Our business is all about serving our members and what you did is unacceptable.”

Life Guard: “You mean saving that kids life?”

Manager: “Yes, the mother says he was just playing and you ruined his fun.”

(The lifeguard is understandably speechless, so I feel the need to interject.)

Me: “Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to congratulate this lifeguard on saving that kid’s life.”

Manager: “He wasn’t drowning; it was just a drill.”

Me: “Are you kidding?! The kid was under water, flailing, and unable to breathe!”

Manager: “Really?”

Lifeguard & Me: “YES!”

Manager: “Oh, sorry.”

(The manager walks away.)

Me: “You need to find a new job.”

Lifeguard: “No kidding.”

Page 1/812345...Last