I am enjoying some drinks in a bar in the daytime with some coworkers. (We work odd shifts; day drinking isn’t strange for us.) We’re watching footage on the news on the TV behind the bar about SpaceX and the launch of its “Starship” rocket.

One of the semi-drunk regulars is also watching and starts complaining loudly when the news anchors start talking about the reusability of the rocket, which is how it’s designed to be cheaper than regular rocket launches.

Bar Regular: “Reusable? Like that sustainable stuff? That sounds liberal and socialist to me!”

Me: “It’s liberal and socialist to try to cut costs and maximize profits?”

Bar Regular: “It means they make less rockets, don’t it? Less factory work for people like me! That’s socialism!”

Me: “I really don’t think you know what any of these words mean.”

Bar Regular: “They should lock up the guy making these rockets for being a socialist!”

Me: “You think Elon Musk is a socialist?”

Bar Regular: “What do fragrances have to do with it?”

Related:
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 5
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 4
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 3
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 2
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets

We don’t quite think this customer knows enough about socialism to be making these statements. Then again, even worse examples can be found in these 16 Funny Stories About Customers Who Don’t Quite Know What Communism Is.

I was in the checkout line with my mother and a family friend, and the three of us were chatting. Our friend is bilingual, and her English has a Spanish accent to it. The woman behind us in line suddenly asked her:

Woman: “Are you from England?”

Friend: “No. Are you from England?”

Woman: “No. I was born in [Nearby Area] and grew up here.”

Friend: “I’m from the Bronx in New York.”

Woman: “If you were from England, I was going to tell you that the queen was really crappy. And I don’t like Charles, either.”

Fortunately, we were called up to the cashier at that time, thus ending the conversation.

All I could think was, “Why? Why go out of your way to say something potentially highly offensive to a total stranger, especially when it’s not even your own country’s politics? Just… WHY?!”

Proposition 8, known online as Prop H8 (Hate), was a California ballot proposition and a state constitutional amendment intended to ban same-sex marriage; only marriage between a man and a woman would be valid or recognized in California. It was a very hotly-debated issue, with non-profit organizations for marriage equality gaining support and photoshoots from celebrities nationwide. Voting “Yes” would block marriage equality from being recognized, and voting “No” would overturn the ballot.

During this debate, we started getting phone calls from people trying to gain support for the ballot. Eventually, they called at a time when we were home.

Caller: “Hello! Were you aware of Proposition 8 that is getting ready to be voted on?”

Mom: “Oh yes! I’m really looking forward to overturning it. I’d love to see them be recognized as legitimate marriages.”

There was a long pause.

Caller: “So, ma’am, just to be clear, you support homosexual marriages?”

Mom: “Yes, I do! Love is love, and they deserve to be recognized!”

There was another long pause.

Caller: *Sounding disgusted* “Thank you very much for your time. That’s all I needed to know.” *Hasty click*

Mom smirked at the dead phone line.

Mom: “Bye!”

I’m pretty sure they wrote us off because we never got another phone call supporting the banning of marriage equality after that.

I work at a very small theater. Since we have very limited space, we pretty much only carry the biggest movies — blockbusters and the like — and never get things like limited releases, documentaries, etc.

A woman in her fifties comes up to me.

Customer: “Are you getting [Movie]?”

Me: “Hmm, I’ve never heard of that one. Do you know when it was supposed to come out?”

Customer: “It’s a limited release, but I just know you’re going to get it because God told me!”

Me: “Ah, well, if it’s a limited release, we probably won’t get it. We have limited screens and usually only get the widest releases.”

Customer: “But [Movie] is important! It’s the new documentary from [Iranian-American alt-right conspiracy theorist], and it’s about how the election was stolen from [Former US President]! God told me that you’d be getting this documentary!”

Me: “Unfortunately, as I said, we typically don’t get those types of limited-release films or documentaries. We just don’t have the space.”

Customer: “Ack! You godless Jews WILL GET THE MOVIE! I AM A GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN AND GOD TOLD ME SO!”

Me: “…Well, I’m sorry, but we probably won’t.”

Customer: “Pfft! So much for freedom of speech!”

She turns and starts to walk away, and then she turns back.

Customer: “I hope [Former US President] kills you first when he takes back the office from Satan.”

Me: “That’s very Christian of you, ma’am, thank you.”

She wandered away. Thankfully, she was the only person who came in asking about that movie.

Related:
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 3
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 2
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets

I have a chronic sinus condition that gets aggravated by cold weather, so basically from November through March, I sound like I’m just getting over a head cold. If I actually DO get a cold, then taking full doses of every “severe” OTC medicine at once might get me down to normal levels of congestion. It’s tons of fun.

Since the Big Global Health Circus™ started, I’ve taken to just wearing a mask when going out during colder weather because I know I’m gonna be sniffing and coughing until I get back home and warm up fully. It doesn’t actually make me sniff LESS, but it seems to be enough of a signal of “I know I sound sick; I’m dealing with it” to keep the busybodies from forcing unsolicited advice on me.

Usually.

Today, I’m in line, minding my own business, when a “gentleman” walks up behind me. He’s wearing a particular red hat, a shirt espousing his choice for the long-resolved 2020 election, and a bad attitude. I wouldn’t have noticed any of this if he hadn’t started the conversation thusly.

Customer: “How come you’re wearing that slave collar?”

I slowly turn with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You know the f***s in charge just tell you to wear that stupid s*** so they know who the f****** sheep are, right?”

Me: “Or, y’know, I’m possibly sick and I don’t want to spread germs?”

Customer: “That mask ain’t doin’ s***, and the f****** [Country] flu’s just a bunch of—”

As if subconsciously reacting to the man’s rant — and yes, he still calls it that racist thing — I suddenly get a tremendous built-up coughing fit. Thankfully, I feel it coming just enough to turn my head and plant my face into my elbow, mask still on, muffling it all as much as possible. After that’s all done, I also sneeze several times. Once I’m sure I’m done, my breathing is back to normal, and the spots are cleared from my eyes, I turn to look at him.

Me: “So, you’re saying you would have been fine if I just did that all over you and your groceries?”

The guy stared at me open-mouthed; I’m pretty sure he couldn’t figure out whether to be angry or disgusted. Thankfully, a spot opened up and I went to check out my few little things. I heard him start getting loud and angry behind me at someone working there.

Related:
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 29
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 28
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 27
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 26
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 25