Obama Drama, Part 6

, , , , , | Working | January 31, 2019

(I work in a major retail chain. One night, we get an unusual truck delivery. Our manager is waiting by the dock with us as we get ready to unload it.)

Manager: *sigh* “All right, everyone. This is going to seem crazy, but I’ve confirmed with the home office that the delivery inside is definitely intended to be ours just the way it is, so just go with it.”

Coworker: “Wait. What the heck is inside?”

Manager: “You’ll see.”

(Shortly after, the truck driver opens the door to reveal an absolutely absurd amount of tangerines. My coworkers and I alternate between staring at the tangerines in amazement and each other in shock and confusion.)

Coworker: “There’s no way this is right. I get that we’re a busy supercenter and all, but there’s no way even we can sell all these oranges before a whole bunch goes bad.”

Manager: “Yep, that’s how I feel, but apparently someone higher up than me disagrees.”

Me: *as I’m sliding my pallet jack under the first pallet* “What reason could there possibly be to make this seem like a good idea?”

Driver: “You want to know what these oranges are for? This is all about that Obamacare!”

(Suddenly, everyone stops what they’re doing to process what the driver has said.)

Manager: “What… What does that have to do with oranges? No, actually, what does that have to do with anything right now?”

Driver: “That’s Obamacare for you; it doesn’t make any sense!”

(We quickly gave up trying to figure out what the driver was talking about. For the next week, all our nightly meetings included a manager urging us all to get a bag of tangerines on the way home. Once the story of the delivery had spread, we would all say goodbye to each other with, “Don’t forget your Obamacare oranges!”)

Obama Drama, Part 5
Obama Drama, Part 4
Obama Drama, Part 3

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One Day My Prints Will Come

, , , | Working | January 19, 2019

(I have recently started a new job. I need to send out over 800 letters, so I ask my supervisor some questions.)

Me: “Is there a usual vendor we use for printing and mailing?”

Supervisor: “Oh, we don’t do that directly. All our printing and mailing gets done through [Consulting Firm].”

(This isn’t unusual, so I let the firm know to expect some info from us to set up the mailing. I get to work, put together the draft, and send it to my supervisor.)

Me: “Can you look this over? If everything is okay, I can send it right off to [Consulting Firm].”

Supervisor: “It looks fine, but why are you sending it to [Consulting Firm]?”

Me: “Because you told me they handle all our printing and mail?”

Supervisor: “Not for something this small; we can print it all directly in the office. It will be cheaper that way.”

(I’m a bit frustrated by this but I let it go. The next day…)

Me: “Hey, can I get an expense approval for a box of paper?”

Supervisor: “What do we need all that paper for?”

Me: “For the letter I need to send out.”

Supervisor: “Oh, just send it over to [Local Print Shop]. They are the vendor we usually use for printing and mailing.”

(That finally answered the first question I had asked.)

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Oh, Crimea River

, , , , | Working | January 18, 2019

(My husband and I are visiting an ear-nose-throat doctor for the first time because we’re having allergy problems after moving to a new area. For convenience’s sake, we’ve scheduled ourselves back-to-back and we go in together. I have kept my own last name. It is now the end of our appointments.)

Doctor: “[Last Name]… What nationality is that?”

Me: “It’s Ukrainian.”

Doctor: “Oh, man, you Ukrainians are having a rough time, huh?”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I suppose. But really I’m American.”

Doctor: “So full of strife for so long!”

Me: “Um, yeah, well, we’ve been in America for a very long time — at least three generations, probably longer. I’m really not sure.”

Doctor: “You poor Ukrainians. Tell you what; I’ll only charge you for one appointment today.”

(It was super awkward but hey, free money.)

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Trying To Reason With Them Is Very Taxing

, , , , , | Friendly | January 6, 2019

(A coworker and I are on the bus home. This coworker is American and holds some political views that are very unusual in the EU. We are talking about tax in Britain which he considers to be too high.)

Me: “But you get quite a lot in return for it. The NHS for example.”

Coworker: “I just don’t believe in taxes.”

Me: “I get that you think they are too high, but you have to believe in some level of taxation.”

Coworker: “No, I don’t believe in any taxes at all.”

Me: “Didn’t you used to work for the army?”

(Another passenger sitting nearby starts sniggering.)

Coworker: “Well, I believe in taxes for defence, but not for anything else!”

Me: “Did you go to a public school?”

Coworker: “Yes, but…”

Me: “Do you drive on public roads?”

Coworker: “If there were no taxes people would set these things up for themselves.”

(Who knew Republicans are apparently anarchists?)

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Yeah, We Vote No

, , , , | Working | December 21, 2018

(I manage teams of door-to-door canvassers for political campaigns. Each staff member has their data time stamped with every door they hit so we can keep track of them when they are in the field. I am calling a staffer concerning a problem I noticed with his time stamps on his previous shift.)

Me: “It seems you didn’t start knocking doors until an hour after your shift started, and you stopped thirty minutes before you were supposed to.”

Staffer: “Yeah, is that a problem?”

Me: “Well, yes. We paid you to work for four hours, and you only actually worked for three.”

Staffer: “I don’t really see the issue.”

Me: “Yeah, we’re going to let you go.”

Staffer: “Well, I guess that makes sense.”

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