I work in a small coffee store on the main street of a walkable little neighborhood. An older, grizzled-looking guy walks in.

Customer: “Do you let any customer use your restroom, or you gotta buy something first?”

Me: “You can use it. No need to get anything.”

Customer: “F****** communists!”

He storms out, not even needing to use the restroom. Peeing for free is communism?

Related:
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 12
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 11
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 10
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 9
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 8

A customer calls me over to assist him at the self-checkout.

Customer: “Where is the language selection screen?”

I open it up for him.

Me: “There you go, sir.”

Customer: “That’s what I thought. Where is the American option?”

Me: “Uh… there isn’t one, sir.”

Customer: “And why is that?”

Me: “Because American isn’t a language. These machines do English, Spanish, Chinese, Korean, and about eight other languages. That should cover 99% of our shoppers.”

Customer: “Hmm. Another one.”

I see him take out a little notebook and cross the name of our store off on a list. The list contained every grocery store chain in the area.

Customer: “You’ve now been added to my list of communist stores I shall never be visiting again.”

He leaves his items at the self-checkout and walks out.

Never been happier to fail a test!

A customer says to me, totally out of the blue, as I am scanning his items:

Customer: “Norway isn’t real, you know?”

Like an idiot, I reply.

Me: *Scanning faster.* “It isn’t?”

Customer: “Nope! They say it’s the happiest country in the world, but it’s just used by them to undermine America and force socialism on us!”

Like an idiot, I engage.

Me: *Scanning even faster.* “I remember reading recently that Finland is the happiest country in the world.”

Customer: “…that country ain’t real either.”

I give him his total as fast as possible. He pays using SNAP, but I’m glad socialism isn’t being forced on him.

It’s election season in the US South, and grocery store cashiers seem to be the focal point of a lot of people’s political energy.

Customer: “So who you voting for?”

Me: “I try not to discuss politics while I’m working.”

Customer: “Sounds like you’re ashamed of who you’re voting for to me!”

Me: “Not at all, I’m just trying to get through my line of customers.”

Customer: “So then why not just tell me?”

Me: “I’m voting for the party that will keep my grandma alive longer by giving her access to the healthcare she needs.”

Customer: “I thought you looked like a woke b**** and I was right.”

I’m woke to want my grandma to be healthy, it seems. This is why I stopped engaging with that question.

I’m working in a convenience store in New York City. A new mayor has just won his electoral race, and it’s on the front page of every newspaper in the city.

Customer: “Bah! Can you believe this guy? This guy says he’s a socialist! Loud and proud! This city is f***ed!”

Me: “I mean, he makes some interesting points.”

Customer: “F*** off with that socialism! I work hard for over forty hours a week, so that, what, worthless pieces of s*** who contribute nothing to society steal my earnings? F*** that! Get them off their f****** gravy train and force them to get real jobs, losers!”

Me: “Actually, I think you just described capitalism…”

Related:
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 11
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 10
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 9
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 8
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 7